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H Withdrawal Soon/Chronic Pain & Health Problems/We Can Do It!

Shroomy I am so glad you are better! I hope the taper works for you :) My experience with kratom is limited but so far I've had no nausea. I just parachute my dose followed by grapefruit juice to get any taste out of my mouth. Usually have to decide the dose into otherwise I'd have an awful big 'package' to swallow. Lol.
I felt so bad reading your posts about getting sick. What a bleak reminder of what we all are going thru.
Glad you are back on track!!
ABW I can't believe your husband doesn't know!! It is so hard trying to hide being sick. Only can use the I got the flu excuse so many times. I sure hope you can find something that works for your pain that allows you to stay off the H for good. Good luck and best wishes my friend!
Sasha that's quite an ordeal - you are lucky to be alive. It's amazing to survive arterial injury like that. I hope you can feel better soon too. I'm waiting for my refill- isn't till the 30th. I ran out after about a week. Only three weeks sick. Whoo hoo don't know why I keep fucking myself like this. It's crazy what I will do for some pain free days.
Well you guys- have a good day(or the best you can muster).
Xoxo
 
Just checking in. I have zero energy. I'mthinkingmore than I'm writing. This weakness needs to GO. And take my period with it. I can't. I'm going insane. I hope everyone has a great day today. Much love to you all. Xoxox

Edit. But, I think I'm finally through withdrawals
 
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Honesty: trying to get a bit of coke. I'm not big on coke nor do I have an extensive use history. I'm seeking a crutch for a couple days. Not the greatest I know but id.
 
Holy shit, I feel absolutely awful. Just weak weak weak, heavy, so hard to even drive a car physically.

Of course coke is taking fucking forever. I'm ready to lose my mind. I feel horrible. And the hot humidity isn't helping.

/whining
 
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
That covers it ;)FUCK lol
 
Im looking for more help in my area of recovery. I have already detoxed myself from Suboxone since I was on it for over a year and went through withdrawals for about 2 months. The cravings got so harsh and then I went backwards to H again. I've been doing it straight for the last 3-4 weeks. I only have about 2 8mg subs left. UGH! I wanted to know if anyone had any info or insight. Im wondering if I will still be sick if I use the Suboxone by taking literally less than a quarter strip for 3 days from the 8mg.....? I figure if I just take enough to feel somewhat ok and still mild withdrawals Ill be able to get through day 1 & 2 and maybe by the 2nd 1/2 day I can cold turkey through the pain and hoping to be fine and able to get back to work by Monday. Its Friday and its already been 24 hrs since my last dose.

please help8(
 
A friend gave me two 8mg suboxone today : ) do you think they could help? Could anyone give me some advice on that if possible? I've never used subs before. I'm curious to know if I could use these subs while using no heroin, and then lower my tolerance to the H before continuing my taper at a lower dose. My taper is going okay, it would mainly be to save on H since my taper dose is still high enough that I end up blowing through the stuff. It'd be nice to just get it out of my system for a week you know?
 
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Made it through :)

Still no coke tho lol.

But weakness is subsiding. Now to stop sweating, freezing, and holy shit my face is oily Wtf????????? Hormone change bc heroin suppresses hormones maybe?

And go Away period.

Now for the next battle: apathy and boredom.

Ugh.

Love love love, be well everyone Xoxo
 
Hey Shroomy- the thing about subs is that you have to be in withdrawal before you want to take them. Otherwise you will end up in the worst precipitated withdrawal you've ever felt. Trust me, I've been there, and no amount of dope will get you well. Ugh. I'm not sure taking suboxone for a week will do that much to drop your tolerance. I think it's an iffy proposition, but that is just based on my experience.
ABW- I hope this morning finds you feeling better! You are over the hump now my friend. Do you have any hobbies? One of my favorite things to do in wd is listen to music on headphones. Just totally zone out. It helps take my mind off things, and helps inspire me creatively.
Xoxo
 
Trevor!!!!! ::waves like a crazy person:: How are you, Love??? :-*

Hey Socks :) I'm feeling a bit better. Was able to sleep about five hours after a friends gave me 600mg neurontin last night. Side note : if you can get Ttys scripted holy shit does it quiet the screaming nerves/restless legs and arms. If obtained for that purpose, I'd say keep your tolerance to it low and only take during wd just to be safe. I've also heard it can have a nasty wd profile of its own.

How are you both feeling? And everyone?

Ive been blasting music and looking at man candy online lol.

I did get a bit of coke just now. Wamp wamp wamp.... Oh well. I'm not much ofa fan so not worried about it. Just a crutch for now to get me through the next few or couple days.

Once late last year I did use coke to mitigate withdrawal. I'll say it worked, however, not with the no sleep part lol. But it made every other symptom bearable. Though by the end I was CRACKED THE FUCK OUT lol even after stopping it due to no sleep and no appetite. Some report stimulants are hell for then in wd. Not for me. So at your own risk. Plus again I'm not a hugegfan of it. So I have zero worries about stopping.

I did the smallest line of dope earlier toobbut barely felt it. Only did our because it was offered to me while waiting three days for coke lol. Not worried. Wd is pretty much over. Even if I have mild wd tomorrow, which I doubt, I have coke to drown it out.

Sounds like a solid plan in my head but written out just looks junkie-y lol. Oh well. Gotta do what I gots do to guarantee I don't slip. I feel once a weekpassesI'm pretty safe as it doesn't seem to take long to get used to the new routine. Likewise, after a few h slip ups its easy to get right back into that routine.

Shroomy, I've taken subs before though I wouldn't say a ton. Moderate though, more than a little. In my experience, I have taken them about twelve hours - sometimes less - after doing dope. With no ill effect. However, everyone Ida different and I don't doubt that some would get precipitated wd from that. Never was a problem for me.

You could either save them for future wd that comes unplanned. Or do what you said. I'd wait a MINIMUM of 12 hrs, or until at LEAST the higher end of minimal wd symptoms presents. Again I've taken them before I really have symptoms other than feeling shitty bc I'm not on h lol, but perhaps I'm fortunate. Though they always depress and demotivate (not a real word according to my spell check lol) me. Warning you because I know you're prone to mood issues. Just be ready in case they depress you like they do me. I actually hate subs except that I hate being dope sick more lol.

Also, apparently according to many they are useless to take a ton. of. In other words, many claim they're a ceiling to their effect and less is more. I'd try - if you are interested inn stretching them - maybe taking 2mg/ one quarter of a strip (if u have the 8mg strip), wait a half hour to an hour, see how you feel. Take another single or 2 mg after if necessary. I think you might be ok on 4mg. Also, some will dose twice a day. So instead of taking 4mg fit examine they take 2, then 2 more twelve hours later. You'll know how much you needed if you take some and twelve hours later you feel like shit. That's happened to me too, I took some, felt ok, then twelve hours later, nope, didn't hold me. But do try the minimum dose. This way it lasts longer, and perhaps you'll save some for af emergency. It's so easy not to think ahead....but then you're dope sick and KICKING yourself for gobbling it up lol. When high you don't think about it, future sick you wishes you still had some though lol.

I hate the way that shit tastes. One day I was spraying a cleaner, out smelled horrible and I thought omg this shit smells like subs taste ugh. Not my favorite cleaner lol. I think it was some scrubbing bubbles shit lol.

Oh, speaking of actually taking it, I had an issue with my mouth just FILLING with spit lol as it dissolved. I'd try keeping it under my tongue for 30-60 minutes, partly bc I was broke and did not want to waste any lol. Others have not had this problem, maybe I'm just spitty lol. My friend who would keep out a MINIMUM of a half hour didn't have that issue at all, in fact his moth would get dry. Just warning you in case you're liquidy like me lol. Out was a real pain in the ass if I had to cough or sneeze etc.(edit: for maximum use, I kept it in my mouth as I said at least thirty minutes; I would as time passed swish around that nasty tasting sub flavored spit and get all of that nasty tasting shit absorbed into my mouth, until my spot no longer tasted like it. It can take a while but it's doable. I found that bete than just leaving out sit in one spot under my tongue, when I did that It didn't always get fully absorbed in same amount of time)
(edit 2: oh one more thing. When I swallowed the liquid/sub spit after I'd get horrible migraines from it so that's another reason is keep it in my mouth forever and swish out until my spit didn't taste like sub anymore. I'd spit it out. Just a heads up, if you get a head ache that could be why, if you swallow it. Upon researching - and these were not scientific sites so take this with a boulder of salt - I read that some are allergic or have bad reactions to the naloxone thus the head ache, as its better absorbed in the stomach {the naloxone, not the bupe} whereas the bupe is better absorbed in the mouth. Spitting it out did work for me to stop the headaches. Maybe I am sensitive to the naloxone since they depress me badly too...)

Ok enough babbling.

*this rambling post was sponsored by coke, apparently*

I hope everyone is ok, sry least hanging in there. Let us know how you are doing everyone. I have so much love for you all. Thank you for everything :-*

And welcome, sTAR! How much sub did you need in the past with a comparable habit? That might help me think of what to tell you.

Xoxoxoxo
 
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ABW sorry you've been feeling awful but glad to hear you're out of the woods with the acute physical part.

Sasha hope you're hanging in! Every minute hour you endure is that much closer! I feel for ya.

Shroomy the subs are bit if-y in your circumstance I'd think. The worked for me in the past to avoid oxy withdrawal but as someone else stated you have to be positive you're already in withdrawal cuz God forbid precipitated WD. Your pasta sounds awesome & that totally sucks about the family thing. They can't be persuaded? I'm sorry Bro.

I have in common with y'all that I don't know what caused my injury either. I just bam! Hit the floor at work one day when a nerve pain shot up my spine.

I find myself today where I am every month. I only have enough oxy to dose once a day and I always mess up and take two. Then I go thru WD for at least a week every month. I finally decided to join the ranks of bluelight last month in the hopes that I can do it this time.
 
Hi all! Just checking in.

thanks for the kind words Everlasting. I go through withdrawal every two weeks so I'm similar to you. Are you in withdrawal yet? BL can help you a lot. Lots of good, supportive people and tons of info especially about withdrawal....


Anyway welcome to Bluelight!

ABW- how are u doing? I know what u mean about Coke. It helps me with withdrawal too. Man I'd do anything for some. I thought I finally found a connect through a friend... Coke but I was hoping eventually pills... but it fell through. Oh well...
How are you doing now? I hope you're feeling a little better. It sounds like you're making a lot of progress and are through the worst of it? I'm hoping by your post that I read it right.



Shroomy and Sockeye- yeah Im really lucky to be alive. I thought I had a three week migraine but I just felt SO off and I had weird pains near the back of my head. I thought it was swollen glands ... especially with fighting off bad bronchitis. But I eventually felt like something was wrong, went to urgent care and they sent me to the ER.


Not only did I tear both vertebral arteries but I had two pseudo aneurysms outside of my brain. Those are aneurysms filled with blood instead of air. I was on blood thinners and once they discovered those, they stopped them right away. I got very lucky. And I got great drugs. This was about 10 years ago. Before that I was abusing percs for migraines. Ugh. It's been so long since I've been free. I know one day I'll quit. But I'm just not ready. Sucks.
Anyway I really am ok (structurally) these days as far as my neck. It's all healed even though I have one side that gives me a lot of pain.
I hope to ski this winter for the first time in 10 years. I got the ok and I have a great doc so I trust him. Of course I got the ok cause I'm a good skier. If I was prone to falling a lot, I wouldn't be allowed. I doubt I'd be ok to try to snowboard cause to the strain on my neck when I'd no doubt fall.
i went to Disneyland a year ago and rode all the rides. It was great. I felt normal. Like a normal person who could do normal things.


but I slept wrong the past few nights and my neck is killing me. And since I basically have no painkillers, I'm in misery. Later tonight I'll take muscle relaxers... ugh.
I feel like shit.


I hope all of you are feeljng ok-ish. I'm gunna get back to my binge watching ....
be well all. I'm thinking of you guys!

sasha
 
Just a warning guys. Though neurontin did help the restless feeling I think that's why I'm so profoundly weak. I took 600mg only last night again not connecting it yet (I've only taken it five times, 3x @ 300mgand that was in a row if I recall right, then a break, then two other non-sequential nights, at 600mg, one of those being last night) and holy fuck I'm severely weak again. It was slowly improving. Very slowly. But now it's back full force. God damn it. I'm sick of feeling like shit. Severe muscle weakness is described as a side effect though not a super common one. Guess I'm lucky. /sarc.

This weakness is so profound walking to bathroom is hard. Much love. Xoxo

Ps apologies, I've read everything and will write more later, I have to attempt some daily tasks ugh. You're all in my thoughts and I send my love. You too LA1993 xo
 
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Hey, losangeles1993.... How are you? I'm thinking of you and hoping you are ok. I sent you a couple of PM's. I know things are tough but you are tougher. Hang in there, love.

Xoxo
 
God I feel like a hopeless loser. I had 5.5 50mg tramadols to get me through part of this week. Weak I know considering my habit. Usually two do it. Last night I took 1.5 and it helped. Today I'm at work and the two I took staggered just didn't help the way I wanted. So I took another (meant for tomorrow. Now I have one left to take in 30min.
I wish I had held on to two for tomorrow. I mean they helped a bit... I just wanted more. Isn't that the way- we always want more more MORE!
ugh. Well if I'm sick tomorrow I have no one to blame but myself. I have no self control with drugs. None. If it's pills, I'll do them all, Coke- I'll do it til it's gone.... man... I guess I should stop bitching and try to enjoy whatever I can from the tramadols.

I've dreamed of calling my old dealer across the country to see if he knew someone out here... talk about desperate! I'd never do it... I'd never call him... it would be weird. but that's where my mindstate is.

Anyway im just bitching. I feel like shit... but I also know I could feel a lot worse. If this is as bad as my withdrawals get, I'll be ok... but I'm worried I've just delayed it with the embeda and tramadol... hopefully the Kratom (starting tomorrow) will hold me from going into full blown withdrawal. Sigh

thinking of all u guys!
sasha
 
Hey guys how you all doing? I'm living off lope and kratom, trying to get right. I don't refill for another week. I live on a fricken island and have no way to get anything on the street, so I'm just waiting and watching the mailbox for my kratom order to get here. It really does help. I need to get off this merry go round. I'm not sure why I do this every month. When I'm rattling, I tell myself next month will be different. I won't take it all at once, but then I do. I can't go back to h, and the dr won't up my dose, so I just live one week with a doable amount of pain then the next three in wd and severe pain. So fucking stupid. Ah the life of a junky. I'll just put my headphones on and slip into some tunes. Rant over. Sorry for it guys. I'm not feeling especially uplifting today.
Xoxo
 
Sasha and Socks - Do you guys think it'd help you gain better control of your intake if you kept a log of whatever is triggering you or causing you to want to reach for more? Maybe include how much taken/your goal for the day,, and how much is physical, how much is mental, how much emotional. Etc. You'd get better at keeping it the longer you did, as you reread it the next day and saw what dangers are particular to you. You know,? It might not help your intake, I don't know. At the least though it'd get you in touch with your reasons and reasoning.

Xoxo Thinking of you. You can do anything you decide you want to. I hope you feel better soon, guys. This will pass. Remember that.
 
I feel like I'm crashing a party posting here...??... so I'll say hello everyone while I walk through the door... hang in there everyone it sounds like you have the right idea and end goal and I wish all of you the best of luck in achieving that goal. It's no fun at all being completely tethered to anything, no matter how bad you may need it. Keep up with your plans and you may be surprised how much pain you can actually handle after a while, you will begin notice if you have not already.

Be careful going to a pain clinic and using H. They can drug test you and if they find H in your system they will boot you instantly no questions asked and won't care how much pain your in. Horrible in my opinion, especially when they dont give enough meds to give the relief that we need and desperately want. So maybe you took matters into your own hands because of this lack of meds and now your punished with the boot, if your using street drugs already and they completely cut you off where do they think you will go. Absolutely ridiculous and wrong on so many levels.....how about docs help better and this wouldn't happen near as much.

Tests given at pain clinics (at the least around here) can tell the difference between every single opiate. It's not just postive for opiates but they actually know each and every opiate in your system. Also making a distinction between morphine and H, along with every other opiate.

You do not want to get booted from your pain clinic. You will be left with no other option other than suck it up, find a new doctor if you haven't been red flagged in the database, or hit the streets even harder. Either way it's a bad situation you should avoid at all costs.

So now I wonder how are you guys not having problems at your clinics while using H. (Don't wanna know anything about how to pass a test, thats not what this question is about, just wondering how you have manged to keep this up) Do they not test you like that for you, or do you stop doing H before appointments, or.....? I have not saw this even mentioned in this thread, so makes me wonder.
 
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