Misc Functional addicts - question

[JoEhJoEh]

???

 

[Soso78]

???

Simple question. Are u an addict?

 

[JoEhJoEh]

i'd say yes. even if i do no drugs during the week because of my job i do it high-dose on weekends, holidays, free corona-days
Just to tell: I have no 46 mg Clonazolam and 19 mg Flubromazepam in my body. I'm just a little tired and normally there is this "benzo-typing" Even this is gone.

I have to taper off. First clona and flubro reduction and then Oxazepam tapering, beause they have no extemely long half time and you can cut it easyly in 4 pieces.

Thank god i have a good guy with loads of Oxa.

 

[Jabberwocky]

This thread made me think about the difference between being functional and realising one’s full potential. When my addiction is active I certainly scrape through life reasonably manageably and most people can’t tell — but it costs so much in terms of being the best version of myself and achieving things I would like to and am probably capable of achieving if drug-free. No matter how ‘functional’ you are you are probably only a percentage of the full you when addicted.

 

[Xorkoth]

This thread made me think about the difference between being functional and realising one’s full potential. When my addiction is active I certainly scrape through life reasonably manageably and most people can’t tell — but it costs so much in terms of being the best version of myself and achieving things I would like to and am probably capable of achieving if drug-free. No matter how ‘functional’ you are you are probably only a percentage of the full you when addicted.

This, for sure. I was an extremely functional opiate addict but my life exploded forward when I finally got off them. It's so much better it's like it's not even the same life.

 

[Ganjcat]

Keif Richards said it 100% correctly. Mine was simply money. Though I make decent money, I recently found out that I can spend money on other "addictions" that won't ruin my life, or potentially kill me. For example, I LOVE gambling... It gives me just as good of a high as heroin (in a sense.. though they are obviously completely different). Though I am spending my money, It can't kill me. And I can walk away anytime I want (without horrible WDs at that).

I quit gambling specifically because of h I've. Lost to many
otenial bags I might have a 50p bet on an outsider now and again or a couple 5-10p acca

 

[JoEhJoEh]

This thread made me think about the difference between being functional and realising one’s full potential. When my addiction is active I certainly scrape through life reasonably manageably and most people can’t tell — but it costs so much in terms of being the best version of myself and achieving things I would like to and am probably capable of achieving if drug-free. No matter how ‘functional’ you are you are probably only a percentage of the full you when addicted.

Hi,

I HAVE TO BE SOBER during the day because im a therapist and work with people. I cannot affort being dizzy or stumbling around, that's quite not possible. And it's good for me because otherwise I would for sure be dead already. I do highdose-benzoes on weekends or on days off or on corona-days like now, but never during the week. And yes, it works.

Since 2008.

I also know exactly what I can take because of half life when it's a Sunday perhaps and i have to work the next day.

sorry, but it is like that once ill get the the bill, i already mentioned.

 

[nznity]

I Wanna Know wherethe Fk Is crack smoking Jedi buddy, I'm kinda worried. He's Been absent for awhile

 

[nznity]

I remained functional in terms of keeping my jobs and supporting myself while I was descending ever deeper into 10 years of opiate addiction. However I wanted to die by the end of it. Eventually I just realized that I couldn't love myself or actually progress and grow in life when I was a slave to opiates, so I managed to quit for good. I still use drugs and have had some much shorter and more easily broken addiction spirals, and in general I always struggle to not use too many drugs (except for psychedelics, those don't give me any problems). I am very committed to staying in control and not using anything daily or to function or to make myself feel fulfilled, simply because I have experienced that, and I have experienced getting past that, and every single time, my life is better when I am not a substance slave. Even if I'm good at "functioning", it's still no way to live.

Playing music is a better high than any drug. Doing something you love is a better feeling than any drug, whatever it is. A lot of people forget that, and it's no wonder because addictive drugs rewire our brains over time. I choose to still use drugs, despite an addictive personality, and I sometimes think it's a bad idea, and I sometimes am glad I do. But if I had to choose between the things that actually make me feel fulfilled, and the drugs that temporarily distract me or make me feel a rush of neurotransmitters... with no hesitation I would toss out the drugs.

I'm glad I don't have to choose... but I'm also very glad that I am usually sober these days, even though I still use drugs more than the average person.

I shed a tear reading those words. Nice man

 

[skyHiGuy]

the difference between being functional and realising one’s full potential.

Very insightful.
I did good work. No one knew what I did in my trips to the loo (I'm British) during meetings, for a fix. No one realised that while my work was good, I wasn't operating to my full potential. Neither did I until I cold turkeyed on 2nd of Jan 2020.

Only then did I realise what functioning addict means, as opposed to realising my full potential meant

Both work and relationship quality jumped to a new high after getting of H. Though interestingly work people didn't notice any difference though my gf did

Read Jerry Sthal, his book Permanent Midnight about the Hollywood scriptwriter (Alf, Thirty something and Moonlighting) on functioning addiction (until he completely lost it)

 

[Jabberwocky]

Very insightful.
Read Jerry Sthal, his book Permanent Midnight about the Hollywood scriptwriter (Alf, Thirty something and Moonlighting) on functioning addiction (until he completely lost it)

Thanks. The thing about being a 'functional' meth addict was that I was only ever one missed night's sleep away from completely losing it. Pushing a 24 hour binge into a 48 hour binge was often the difference between appearing function and tweaking out like a maniac. I guess the equivalent for opiate addicts is the line between being not sick and on the nod.

 

[skyHiGuy]

I guess the equivalent for opiate addicts is the line between being not sick and on the nod.

Ha yes sort of.
Not really a nodder. Sick or not sick indeed.
More though was the pre-sick planning of the next hit, while delivering training. Also sleep management and the bizzare excuses for excessive sweating.

Mainly though its daily life joys and highs seeming remote and irrelevant compared to the warm hug of a hit of H. Brought home by my gfs warm hugs while I'm thinking how to escape to the bathroom...

 

[nznity]

Ha yes sort of.
Not really a nodder. Sick or not sick indeed.
More though was the pre-sick planning of the next hit, while delivering training. Also sleep management and the bizzare excuses for excessive sweating.

Mainly though its daily life joys and highs seeming remote and irrelevant compared to the warm hug of a hit of H. Brought home by my gfs warm hugs while I'm thinking how to escape to the bathroom...

So true man, i lost my girl for chasing thst srupid hit....

 

[Nicomorphinist]

I’m a functioning addict and my loving family keeps me in check

Quite common I would think . . . That can run all along a continuum from keeping one on a euphoric straight and narrow in a helpful way, all the way down to the old Russian proverb: "O God, please protect me from my friends (family or whatever) -- I can handle my enemies myself . . ." A happy medium, such as it is, would be that someone needs their medicine and is getting it, just like any other kind of medicine . . .

"Now that guy, he knows where it is, he just says he needs his medication"
-- William S Burroughs, Junky

"You know your man . . . you know if you have that crazy need a blowjob every day kind of man -- you know what happens if he doesn't get his medicine . . ."

-- Chris Rock on US President Bill Clinton,
NYC, 23. October 1998

 

[JoEhJoEh]

No such thing as a functional addict, it's an oxymoron.

There is no functional addicw

There is no functional addicts

((Aha - why do you think like that? Homosexuality can heal like every ohter wound. )id you fail perhaps to be one? I know theses stigmata very well. How will you have been working? Did you ever hat a peoples different stories why that happened to them? Perhaps you should.

JJ

 

[Wilson Wilson]

This thread made me think about the difference between being functional and realising one’s full potential. When my addiction is active I certainly scrape through life reasonably manageably and most people can’t tell — but it costs so much in terms of being the best version of myself and achieving things I would like to and am probably capable of achieving if drug-free. No matter how ‘functional’ you are you are probably only a percentage of the full you when addicted.

This is a very good post.

When I was strung out on downers I got by fine working at a supermarket.

Soon after getting off oxy and tapering my benzo use right back down to sensible levels, I got a job at a tech company and felt like I'd pulled myself out of a rut.

Just because you have a job and are getting by doesn't mean the addiction isn't harming your functioning.

I find that being able to use cannabis and the occasional benzo to keep my head balanced helps me big time, so I wouldn't call myself drug-free, but certainly not using anything in an unhealthy manner anymore.

 

[THECATINTHEHAT]

((Aha - why do you think like that? Homosexuality can heal like every ohter wound. )id you fail perhaps to be one? I know theses stigmata very well. How will you have been working? Did you ever hat a peoples different stories why that happened to them? Perhaps you should.

JJ

I have no idea why you are talking about homosexuality or what relevance you think that has, but here is why I believe there is no such thing as a functional addict....

When most people say they are a functional addict what they mean is that they go to work and pay the bills. Now in my view there is a world of difference between this and my concept of functional as a human being.

If you are addicted to something you're basically admitting that you're dedicating a large amount of your time and mental space to obtaining and consuming a certain substance. For me there is nothing functional about that, you're achieving far less as a person than you could be if you weren't addicted to drugs, much of your potential is being wasted. Being permentantly intoxicated also prevents you from being fully emotionally present and receptive to those people you have interpersonal relationships, you simply can't be available in the way you could be if you weren't addicted to drugs. This also means that you never develop emotionally during this time in the way that you would if you were sober. You need to be feeling the weight of your emotions and learning how to process them for that to happen and if you're blotting them out with drugs then you wont do that.

So yeah, you may be going to work and paying the bills and creating a veneer of respectability but are you fulfilling your potential as a human being? Certainly not.

I should add here that I do think this is somewhat substance dependant, some substances (cannabis, caffeine, nicotine) you can certainly consume in a habitual pattern whilst still fulfilling the conditions that most people would associate with the concept of functionality.

 

[JoEhJoEh]

I have no idea why you are talking about homosexuality or what relevance you think that has, but here is why I believe there is no such thing as a functional addict....

When most people say they are a functional addict what they mean is that they go to work and pay the bills. Now in my view there is a world of difference between this and my concept of functional as a human being.

If you are addicted to something you're basically admitting that you're dedicating a large amount of your time and mental space to obtaining and consuming a certain substance. For me there is nothing functional about that, you're achieving far less as a person than you could be if you weren't addicted to drugs, much of your potential is being wasted. Being permentantly intoxicated also prevents you from being fully emotionally present and receptive to those people you have interpersonal relationships, you simply can't be available in the way you could be if you weren't addicted to drugs. This also means that you never develop emotionally during this time in the way that you would if you were sober. You need to be feeling the weight of your emotions and learning how to process them for that to happen and if you're blotting them out with drugs then you wont do that.

So yeah, you may be going to work and paying the bills and creating a veneer of respectability but are you fulfilling your potential as a human being? Certainly not.

I should add here that I do think this is somewhat substance dependant, some substances (cannabis, caffeine, nicotine) you can certainly consume in a habitual pattern whilst still fulfilling the conditions that most people would associate with the concept of functionality.

Like I said - I'm not permanently intoxicated. I'm a therapist working with people from Monday to Friday. I cannot afford being drugged at that time during the week.

JJ

Edit: I never said it's harmless.

 

[THECATINTHEHAT]

Like I said - I'm not permanently intoxicated. I'm a therapist working with people from Monday to Friday. I cannot afford being drugged at that time during the week.

JJ

Edit: I never said it's harmless.

So just all the time that you spend with your loved ones outside work then? Like I say, to me that doesnt sound very functional.

I'm not judging, at one time i would have described myself as a functional addict. I was keeping a smack and crack habit going at the same time as working 70 hours a week in a Michelin starred kitchen. It's only now I have some perspective I realise just how wrong I was.

 

[JoEhJoEh]

So just all the time that you spend with your loved ones outside work then? Like I say, to me that doesnt sound very functional.

I'm not judging, at one time i would have described myself as a functional addict. I was keeping a smack and crack habit going at the same time as working 70 hours a week in a Michelin starred kitchen. It's only now I have some perspective I realise just how wrong I was.

Of course it's wrong and i want to get rid of this but doesn't yet know when and how and all that stuff.. I'm scared about it.