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  • EADD Moderators: axe battler | Pissed_and_messed

feel like my life peaked at uni.

she wants literally nothing more to do with me. facebook block, all pictures of us on instagram deleted, all blog posts about me gone. She's not even properly explqained wht I did, though I can guess.

I feel completley, completley broken. I was so distraught I couldn't make it into work and have ni probably lost my job. I know it sounds dramatic, but there is no going back from this. This is the first time in my life I have actually tried, seriously, to kill myself, and might have succeded it my housemates didn't realize what I was doing and forced me to go to a and e.

I've moved back in with my parents and was perscribed anti-depressants today. I hope they level me out because I honestly feel as if I have nothing else to live for.
 
It's understandable that things would be very raw right now as the breakup is still recent, and you can't really make sense of it. It seems like this is a huge loss for you, I'm really sorry you're feeling so down. However, it sounds like you've got a support network to fall back on and are taking some positive steps to care for yourself.

It sounds like you've lost touch with feelings of self worth. That's a really horrible place to be and it's really difficult to see for the wood for the trees when you're feeling pretty hopeless. I'd really recommend looking into accessing some psychotherapy/counselling. If you can find the right person it can be amazingly therapeutic. NHS waiting lists are often really long, but I think many private therapists offer a sliding scale of charges.
 
Damn dude sorry to hear all this :(
As Wibble said, a group of friends and the right help can make all the difference. Having been in somewhat of the same spot a couple months back I wholeheartedly agree
Hang in there, things will get better <3
 
I am so sorry to hear that man. You're in a very shitty situation. Try and keep your head up. Being confused and not knowing can hurt you more than the person meant. Give them time. Hopefully they will open up and speak to you, so that you both have some ease of mind. I really hope thinks start looking up, man.
 
hexagram said:
she wants literally nothing more to do with me. facebook block, all pictures of us on instagram deleted, all blog posts about me gone. She's not even properly explqained wht I did, though I can guess.

I feel completley, completley broken. I was so distraught I couldn't make it into work and have ni probably lost my job. I know it sounds dramatic, but there is no going back from this. This is the first time in my life I have actually tried, seriously, to kill myself, and might have succeded it my housemates didn't realize what I was doing and forced me to go to a and e.

I've moved back in with my parents and was perscribed anti-depressants today. I hope they level me out because I honestly feel as if I have nothing else to live for.
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I'm in more or less the same situation as you, post-uni everything has fucked up, lost two girlfirends and gained a pretty bad junk habit, don't go down that path, living with my parents now too. Where did you go to Uni out of interest?
 
I think it's also worth saying that the transition from university into "adulthood" can be extremely tough. It's a huge change, it can feel overhwelming to know where to go next (people who know what they want to do as a career are a minority I think), and I definitely felt quite resistent to giving up adolescence. It's ok to find it difficult, disappointing, frustrating, sad, or in fact feel any feeling you have about the situation. It's important time to allow other people in to help you practically and emotionally, even though that can feel quite hard.
 
I think it's also worth saying that the transition from university into "adulthood" can be extremely tough.
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And you should try your best and resist it. Plenty of time for that shite later on or when you're forced to by circumstance ;). No one looks back on their deathbed and wishes they'd settled into an adult routine sooner. If you really feel like you wasted uni and you want to repeat it, there's always time later if that's what you want. You'll appreciate it more as well if it's something you've worked to get.


When you're over it try and go travelling or plan towards something you really want to do just for yourself. You probably won't want to hear it now, but sometimes things that seem horrible at the time end up putting you on a much better path than you were on before.
 
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Don't settle into an 'adult' routine at all if you can get away with it! Obviously circumstance will sometimes force you to adopt certain responsibilities, but most people who prematurely make a conscious decision to be 'adult' do so out of insecurity, and end up suffering a midlife / mid-youth crisis in my experience. Better to accept that life is a perpetual learning experience than to have to rebuild your worldview at fifty.

I've been convinced that my life peaked in my late teens, early twenties and late twenties, yet here I am, experiencing another peak at thirty-five, after plenty of lows which I saw as the end of my life. I should imagine it's the same for many.

Don't fall for the bullshit. We have all the time in the world.
 
I'm not really referring to any need to transition into one particular, mainstream ideal of what adulthood is (definitely worth resisting), more thinking about the different stages of human development we go through as we age and enter into different stages of life.
 
I guessed so by the way you worded your post, and I certainly don't disagree with anything you said. I think the most adult thing anybody can do is accept that they will always be a child. You can integrate that with being a parent, or any other responsibility. My grandfather taught me that, and he was as small 'c' conservative as they come.
 
I miss my girl. I miss her so much.

I swear no one will love and put me up with me like her. I swear after only two weeks she's already forgetton me.

But she was my punk rock girl. We skanked out to ska all night, we drank and drank and had sex (though it might have been a bit shit and drunk) all night.

And sober we watched films. And helped each other with out work. I cried on your shoulder, you cried on mine. You swore you wanted a lfie with me, we talked about kids names, places to live, etc. And in more acheivable gains, flats to live in etc.

After two and half years, I feel like I know no one more than you
 
The thing that stops me from killing myself, is that I saw one of my oldest friends die of cancer.

I saw him fight for life, against all odds. He fought and fought. And smiled, and cared for others throughout everything. He fought for every last breath, so how dare I willingy kill myself.
 
Hex, I know this probably won't register with you just yet, but you really will move on. Any worthwhile relationship will fuck you up once it draws to a close; I was in a similar situation to you ten years ago, having split from a girl (now a woman) whom I regarded as the love of my life, and continued to do so for many years, in which I unsuccessfully attempted to regain the same feeling with others, making the mistake of being too cautious and choosing the wrong people as a result.

Fast forward a decade and I meet the most awe-inspiring, beautiful person I could have asked to meet, just after I'd become irredeemably cynical, or so I thought.

If you think it's all gone wrong, go on and on and on and on.
 
Things do change. It doesn't feel like thats possible now and it may take a while, but I promise you it will.

Edit - Blah, blah, blah - TMI that's probably of little relevance to the OP and just one man's boring rationalisation of an unremarkable breakup to anyone else.
 
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Just to be clear, that comment wasn't at you hex. That comment was at myself for putting up stuff too personal to me and of no interest to anyone else, so I had to remove it.
 
I will also add that my treatment at a and e was shit. I understand how tough a job it must be, but all the staff looked at me like I was wasting their time, despite the fact I was loosing my mind. The mental health professnals asked a bunch of silly questions, and again seemed to be judging me (particuarly when they asked if I used drugs)
 
hexagram said:
I miss my girl. I miss her so much.
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lol @ you and your girl problems. These threads about her, have been spanning years, no???

er, yeah anyway. I think you've got stuck in an adoration/suicidal loop. They hold the same territory. Best thing you can do is recognize it and snap out of it. (easy for me to say, i know) I'm sure she's a nice girl but she's not worth your life and that will get more painstakingly clear with time.
 
hexagram said:
I will also add that my treatment at a and e was shit. I understand how tough a job it must be, but all the staff looked at me like I was wasting their time, despite the fact I was loosing my mind. The mental health professnals asked a bunch of silly questions, and again seemed to be judging me (particuarly when they asked if I used drugs)
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I've had some pretty varied experiences with emergency mental healthcare, seems to be a bit of a lottery. Did you see a proper psychiatrist?
 
Sammy G said:
Hex, I know this probably won't register with you just yet, but you really will move on. Any worthwhile relationship will fuck you up once it draws to a close; I was in a similar situation to you ten years ago, having split from a girl (now a woman) whom I regarded as the love of my life, and continued to do so for many years, in which I unsuccessfully attempted to regain the same feeling with others, making the mistake of being too cautious and choosing the wrong people as a result.

Fast forward a decade and I meet the most awe-inspiring, beautiful person I could have asked to meet, just after I'd become irredeemably cynical, or so I thought.

If you think it's all gone wrong, go on and on and on and on.
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forgot to say excellent dammed reference :p
 
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