j.allen1985
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Nov 6, 2010
- Messages
- 2
I have been taking Coricidin Cough & Cold HBP for the last week and a half straight at a dose of 14 to 16 and maybe a second dose of 4 to 6 (depending on how far down I came if I couldn't get to the pills for a certain amount of time due to work or doing stuff with the wife and kids cause I couldn't let them know I was doing it) to alter the way i look and feel about life. I never take over 20 or 25 a day and NO MORE than 14 at once EVER, I know that's a lot but at least everone else like being around me. It seems to open a door that is locked deep down inside of me when I am sober. It lets me see the real things in life the way I think everyone should see it. I used to use them as recreation but I stopped because I thought it was cause I was just high chasing. But I started taking them again because I feel more closer to people and understand the way things are and can explain the way I feel with out being ashmed or nervous. I can explain things a lot deeperand more inmormational. I did have acute short term memory loss but none of that has occered since I have cam down. I know this sounds like a feind but in reality if you knew how I feel and the way I think in my head you would want somthing to alter your mind too. I love life the way it is going but when I am sober and off all meds for 3 or 4 months, (not just a couple of days then go try something else) perscription or not, I am very irritated and agrivated and easily annoyed at anything and everyone even my wife and son that I am supposed to be the closest to. I stopped taking them yesterday (cold turkey) cause my wife found out and she loved the way I was while I was on them but she didn't think it was right. I am going to see a state funded phsyc Dr. Wed. to try to firgure out what is wrong with my head. I don't feel any bad side effects as of right now. But I still have tomorrow, the next day and days to come. I don't have health insurance to go to the doctor all the time to fix my mind but when I have the money to do so I have gone a lot in the past. I have been on many other perscription drugs to fix the problem including - Effexor XR 150mg, Celexa unknown mg, Adderal 15mg, Prozac unknown mg, Stratera 80 mg, Norpromin 50mg, Zoloft 50mg and now I am on Welbutrin 150mg. None of these meds have continued to help. Some made it worse and some fixed it temporarily. But after a while they would stop working. Taking Triple C's for the past week was making me live life the way I think everone should be able to enjoy life realize deep down the way life reall is. It was like a different demention of life that I opened but after they wore off I came down with no agretion or anxiety or depression like I was feeling before I started taking them. In my head I hate sex, doing family activities, being awake and enything else that has to do with involving other people in my life. Not because I am selfish but because everything gets on my nerves. My wife has kicked me out multiple times because I get irritated and frustrated with everyone and everything and start yelling and cussing in front of our son and fighting with her. But never have I hit either of them or anyone else. Today I feel a little smarter than usual and more focused and energetic, a little sleepish and heavy eyes but nothing major and definatly nothing as bad as I feel with out meds. I still am taking my welbutrin but nothing else. I have stopped smoking after 12 years of it and stopped drinking to see if that was the reason I was feeling the way I did and none of that helped but I still don't drink or smoke or do any illegal drugs. I asked my family to tell me if they have noticed a difference in my behavior today compared to the previous weeks and they say that I am more calm and less angry and hostile and in a rush rush/hurry hurry to get stuff done state of mind that don't absolutly need to be done really fast or be done RIGHT NOW. I'm not saying that everyone who takes these will feel the same way I do but I know for me I think they would be a very theriputic drug. BUT I'm not sure of the long time side effects of abusing this drug. But I am going to take this letter and show it to them Wed. and I have done some reasearch and printed some stuff out to show them and see what they think. Maybe it will help maybe I messed up my body in the long run and gonna die sooner than I should but then again I might have extended my life because I ain't smoking or gettin agrivated or drinking. Well that's all I have for now and if I think of anything else to say about it then I will write another letter.