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Considering Suicide

That's what I keep telling him all the time, if it's not one thing it's another. ;)

Even if everything turns out okay my feeling is that something else will still get him stressed either way.
I remember being a bit like that when I was at his age. You can't control life, right?

Life is not perfect. We discover this truth early in life. And the longer we live, the more we see it to be true. In fact, the imperfections surround us in nearly every direction
 
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Mylife, I'm kind of in the same situation. I just got my first speeding ticket at the age of 26, and I was terrified of being pulled over for the first time when I knew I was doing something wrong (I was doing 80 down a country road with no one around, but it was a 45 street with a cop hidden off the road.

It sucks to think you've gotten in trouble for the first time about something big but it's going to be ok. Everything will be ok. I thought it was the end of the world to get a $80 speeding ticket, but you can argue it in court and it's your first offense, you won't go to jail.

My speeding ticket is my first offense, and I'm going to court next week to argue it in court (the cop was nice and only put on the report I was going 50 in a 40, so it'll probably get thrown out.)

You can deal with court and judges.
 
Wow only $80??? I got dinged $175 for my first speeding ticket when I was 19... that hurts so I've slowed down a lot more and haven't got one since
 
I'm 26, (not to be racist, but I know I'm privileged) a cute little white girl in a nice 2009 Pontiac car, with no other tickets or anything, and I had my insurance and registration and license on hand. I was very nice to the officer and was terrified and almost on the verge of tears when he pulled me over, so maybe he took pity on me. I honestly thought he would just give me a warning, but I still got slapped with the ticket. He told me he only put 50 on my ticket instead of the 80 cause this was my first offense, but he did say on my ticket in the 'notea' spot he had put the 79 I was going. So I don't really know if the court will know what that means or of other police officers will know what that 80 will mean. I just know he try to do me a favor, but in the end not really. I would pay the fine, but I dont want my insurance to go up with the ticket so I wanted to go argue it.
 
Hey MyLife,


You actually sound like a very mature, polite and genuinely remorseful young man to me. Make sure that everybody (especially the judge) has the opportunity to see this side of your personality.


Even smart people do stupid things. In 45 years on this crazy planet, there have been numerous times when I had myself absolutely convinced that I had permanently ruined my life. Now these things are nothing more than bad memories and, more importantly, learning experiences. Of course I cannot promise you exactly what will happen. All I can say is that in my own personal experience, it has NEVER turned out to be as bad as whatever I was imagining at the time.

Remember, suicide is a permanent "solution" to a temporary problem (in other words, a very BAD solution). I'm sure that you've heard this a million times, but please speak with somebody you can trust if you are feeling that overwhelmed.


Please try to keep us posted, and I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.


Peace, Love and Faith,
dreamflyer
 
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Hey.


It's nothing to beat yourself up over.

I guess the biggest rationale comes down to what your intent was? Haha, it'll be okay.

Given what everyone has said here, I sincerely doubt you'll serve any time.

Once it blows over and you've worked through any embarrassment you might have, you can proceed with your life, you know? Suicide is wildly inappropriate in an instance like this, though it seems like an easy way out, it's quite the drastic measure. More than that, it rips away what you really want, which is to live happily, yeah?

Or at least, live good? That idea has it's own philosophical system.

Try really, really hard to tell yourself it was a fluke of your 17 year old brain.

We all think we're smart until we do something stupid. It's going to be alright.


Much love pal, hey,

it was a dare, and you didn't actually hurt anyone except for maybe some feelings, which you've repaid with your own :D

stay on the track to success. You're obviously smart and mature enough. Take care!

EDIT: ​hehe, I'm 16 myself.

a less important edit: I just re read the thread and realized I didn't say anything new.
 
Perhaps not new but as important as everyone else's comments.

Sometimes in life we do worst things but don't get caught nevertheless we are imperfect. The fact that you are learning so much from this experience makes you special. There's a lot of people who don't give a damn if they hurt others or how they feel about it. Another good thing good about you is the fact you are regretful and it's visible how much you've been suffering from this. Judges have a lot of experience and I find it very difficult not to notice this about you.

Something else you might learn from this action is that sometimes we shouldn't be so stressful before things actually happen, that doesn't mean you don't need to be concerned and even worried but you can't anticipate what's going to happen so you could probably use this experience to avoid being so stressed out about things that might or might not happen. In both cases you suffer twice as much.

Wish peace! This will quickly be part of your past.
 
Thank you for the kind words

Current situation:

The independent school I tried to enroll to rejected me because I'm current on pending for expulsion.
Dad is currently pissed again.
I'm trying to stay composed
 
now my dad is really pissed. he's saying some really mean things
we finally found a school that accept me, but my dad doesn't like that school so he's
saying things like, "I'm only letting you go to school until you're 18, then you're going to get a Nails Salon degree" or something like that.
I'm fine with working, but I'm not working at a Nails Salon. I can work at maybe a McDonalds or Starbucks or something, gather some money and pay for college and really do what I really want to do. He's not going to control my future like that.

Just yesterday, he was the best father ever, talking in the sweetest and kind hearted tone saying things like, "it's okay. we're going to look at this as the past. talking about won't solve anything"
Today, he's all aggressive, bringing back my mistakes and bash me and make me feel bad.

Talk about a change in person.
 
Spoke to an old teacher about this. She flipped and plans to go to the expulsion hearing.
Spoke to my friend's mom too. Got some kind supportive words and advice from her.
 
You havent been expelled yet and get the school to do what they said they would do which is find a school for you to continue in until then.

.

Stop your dad interfering its not helping.

Just put it in their hands and follow up with your school as to what they have organised.

You dont organise this neither does your dad.
 
Try to remain calm even you have to force yourself to especially in situations of confrontation.

Your dad is close to you and he must not be feeling as patient as you would expect him to be. That's totally normal. There are good and bad days for parents too. So try to focus on what you have to do next. And remember that your folks are there for you and sometimes when things don't go as planned all feelings come back. I'm pretty sure your parents love you and want the best for yourself but they are stressed as well.
 
It's awesome to see how this community has supported you thru this. I'm basically reiterating what others have said, but suicide is a permanent "solution" to a temporary problem. A family member of mine attempted unsuccessfully but lost most of his face. You can't fathom the pain you will cause those that love you if you did this. You would be surprised how many problems that seem insurmountable while you're going thru them eventually end up becoming just a memory in the end. You said you are "a weak person". Life builds character as you age & go thru things, so you might be surprised how that changes as you go thru the trials of life. I would venture to say people don't FEEL strong when they are trying to withstand going thru dark times or a difficult circumstance. I think it's great that you talked to an old teacher & your mom's friend. Good support can be found in people that care about you that aren't as close to the situation. I hope you continue to reach out to them. Everyone makes mistakes. What we do isn't necessarily who we are. You are young & have a lot of life to live. I hope that you come to decide that ending your life is never a real option. Best wishes for you.
 
Good to see everyone participating and yes, indeed! I find Bluelight an amazing place and this thread says a lot about us!! Glad to hear you share the same opinion.

About our friend here, we are past suicide right buddy? ;)
 
Hey MyLife,

I hope that you are feeling better than you were the last time I posted on here. I would just like to share a couple quick thoughts with you...

It just occurred to me that you have a bunch of us on here who genuinely care about you, and we barely even know you. Think about that for a second because it really is awesome! It even makes me feel better to see how much support you have already, both here and from the people around you. I have been praying for you every night, and I visit this website at least once a day to see how you are doing. I cannot even imagine how concerned your family must be right now, even if they do not always show it.

When I was your age, my father and I had a very rocky relationship. He did not know how to handle seeing the people that he loved in any kind of distress, and he would often lash out in frustration at the times that I needed him most... especially when he drank too much, which unfortunately was quite often. What I came to understand later (I am 45 now and we have gotten along tremendously for years now) is that he was not actually angry with me; he was angry at the circumstances. It happened when I lost a good job because somebody who wanted to take my position (I was the manager) began to spread false rumors about me, and the owner believed her because they were friends. I expected my dad to be supportive and instead he started yelling at me for getting fired! Later he felt deeply sorry about what he did, but it took him a while to say it. Of course I do not know your family personally, but I am sure that they love you very much.

Just hang in there and remember that no matter what happens, you can and will get through it in time.

Your Friend,
dreamflyer
 
Nicely put.

dreamflyer said:
remember that no matter what happens, you can and will get through it in time.
Click to expand...

I find this to be quite true as often people go through their worst nightmares and somehow find ways to adapt / adjust to whatever situation they are submitted to. You can grow with these experiences, and even if you think it's something traumatic you'll learn about handling difficult issues in life. I've been caught in real bad situations and managed to get around in times I thought it would have been impossible to do just that.
 
Good point, I'm going to second & third that... People say a lot of things under stress that is not reflection of how they truly feel about you. Maybe try to excuse your family's words of frustration as much as you can. I know it's easier said than done... Hope you're hanging in & giving yourself a break.
 
Erikmen said:
Good to see everyone participating and yes, indeed! I find Bluelight an amazing place and this thread says a lot about us!! Glad to hear you share the same opinion.

About our friend here, we are past suicide right buddy? ;)
Click to expand...

Yea. At first, I didn't know what to do, I thought I was going to do some time, so I was really scared. But now, I have a lawyer and he assured me that I can get community service so I feel so relief.
 
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