I’m 4 months off, about to hit the 126 days next week. I only took the two loading shots at the hospital. I will say that the first shot actually helped my psychosis and brought me back to myself. I was still able to feel my emotions and had drive to get out of the hospital and move forward with life. Unfortunately, the second shot took all that away. I even tried to get out of taking the second shot cause I had a feeling that it would be overkill but I was coerced by the social worker. She said that my family didn’t want me out of the hospital until I did, which was a lie. Also told me that I’d be back in the hospital by Christmas if I didn’t. I had the right to refuse but in that moment I felt like I had no choice. I hope she gets her karma is all I can say about that.
My symptoms: anhedonia, lack of emotions, lack of pleasure from anything, lack of motivation, restlessness in the legs, pacing, slow and slurred speech, constipation, weight gain( not severe luckily), no period, no sex drive, sleep doesn’t feel fulfilling and I wake up in the middle of the night, I can stare at a wall all day and nothing.
At 3 months, most of the physical symptoms went away completely (speech is normal, no more restlessness in legs which means no more pacing, not constipated anymore, lost some of the weight) but I’m still left with the emotional effects. Also this week, I was sexting with my fwb and actually got aroused. I started ketamine infusion treatments last week and just finished my 4th session today. I will say that the ketamine helps to have my thoughts flowing and let’s me enjoy music during the infusion but I go back to my anhedonic state after it’s done. Today though, I was able to laugh a bit and felt a little bit of myself but nothing too significant. I also was tapping along to the music I was listening to while driving and slightly enjoying it. I do feel more hopeful about things after reading through this thread and reading some of the recovery stories. I also got prescribed Wellbutrin 75mg, which is the only medication I would be willing to take. I’m kinda looking forward to starting it but unsure if it will actually do anything. I think it’s worth a try though.