tired of crap
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jun 26, 2009
- Messages
- 1,289
Well after sleeping away the first half of the day yesterday I managed to get out for a hike with a friend.
Upon my return home I felt great but did exactly what I was doing before the hike - sitting in front of the computer watching endless shows. I needed a change. So I toked.
Sitting down to journal I realize now that all this tv is an effort to passively escape... from what? the stresses of my life I suppose. But then I stopped and thought about these stresses.... and lets be real, while these stresses are real, the changes they will produce are definitely worth it in the end...
So why am I ducking and covering? Simply put - 10 years of habit.... Why now after a run of positive changes? Because I fell back out of my optimal routine... I then realized that I need to be more flexible sometimes. So I didnt get to bed at the perfect time, so I missed my morning yoga and meditation, so what. Now its time too....? Time to live in the moment, thats what.
Often times I get thrown completely off because Im such a creature of habit that anything from ordinary is overwhelming these days. Funny how we miss the lessons we learn so often. If one thing power psychedelic experiences have taught me its that there is no "normal", just normal right now. Lately Ive been taking it easy with these experiences though, opting for less immersive substances, afraid that I'd get caught up in the emotions of my mind and have a "bad trip". But Ive always felt that these can teach us the most about ourselves - showing us the things we have sub/consciously suppressed and need to see. Like a flash light in the dark. So my plan is to take this weekend off in that regard, just eat some oil and get suitably stoned. The following week itll be a solid dose of either lysergamides (it was sold as LSD, tests similarly, comes on in half an hour but is down by 5 hours, completely out by 7) or tryptamines - either mushrooms or 4 aco-dmt.
But I digress... so I was up late due to the sleeping all day and smoking too late. But I was productive and ate well.
Got up when I woke up this morning and continued where I left off - went for a run, finished the house and the cooking and Im just typing this before heading out to acquire the necessities for kombucha making. Its about time I get back to my hobbies. Especially one I find so beneficial - I truly believe that gut bacteria, which I feel is positively affected by kombucha, is tied to mental health (and is partially responsible for why Ive been in such a funk lately - poor eating habits have been my go to vice lately).
Guess thats it for now.
Much love
TOC
Upon my return home I felt great but did exactly what I was doing before the hike - sitting in front of the computer watching endless shows. I needed a change. So I toked.
Sitting down to journal I realize now that all this tv is an effort to passively escape... from what? the stresses of my life I suppose. But then I stopped and thought about these stresses.... and lets be real, while these stresses are real, the changes they will produce are definitely worth it in the end...
So why am I ducking and covering? Simply put - 10 years of habit.... Why now after a run of positive changes? Because I fell back out of my optimal routine... I then realized that I need to be more flexible sometimes. So I didnt get to bed at the perfect time, so I missed my morning yoga and meditation, so what. Now its time too....? Time to live in the moment, thats what.
Often times I get thrown completely off because Im such a creature of habit that anything from ordinary is overwhelming these days. Funny how we miss the lessons we learn so often. If one thing power psychedelic experiences have taught me its that there is no "normal", just normal right now. Lately Ive been taking it easy with these experiences though, opting for less immersive substances, afraid that I'd get caught up in the emotions of my mind and have a "bad trip". But Ive always felt that these can teach us the most about ourselves - showing us the things we have sub/consciously suppressed and need to see. Like a flash light in the dark. So my plan is to take this weekend off in that regard, just eat some oil and get suitably stoned. The following week itll be a solid dose of either lysergamides (it was sold as LSD, tests similarly, comes on in half an hour but is down by 5 hours, completely out by 7) or tryptamines - either mushrooms or 4 aco-dmt.
But I digress... so I was up late due to the sleeping all day and smoking too late. But I was productive and ate well.
Got up when I woke up this morning and continued where I left off - went for a run, finished the house and the cooking and Im just typing this before heading out to acquire the necessities for kombucha making. Its about time I get back to my hobbies. Especially one I find so beneficial - I truly believe that gut bacteria, which I feel is positively affected by kombucha, is tied to mental health (and is partially responsible for why Ive been in such a funk lately - poor eating habits have been my go to vice lately).
Guess thats it for now.
Much love
TOC