Just wanted to update, and add some info.
So it's been about a year now, and I'm still on the lope. For a while there I actually bumped up to 192 pills per dose, but now I'm back down. I started taking Welbutrin a month ago and noticed it has been very helpful in lowering my lope dose. I dropped back down to my old 144 pill dose, and lately I've actually been taking 132 pills. Still dosing every 2 days btw. For a while there I was dosing every 36 hours, but again, after starting on Welbutrin (and quitting Celexa), it's somehow helped a lot with the lope habit, so I'm back to dosing every 48+ hours.
One thing I really, really want to make clear is how completely unlike all other opiates the loperamide is, in that it since starting it, my life has only gotten BETTER. In fact, the lope has allowed me to completely erase all the damage done from my opiate addiction, and for the past few months, my life has actually been better than its been in at least 5 years (before ever starting opiates). I really feel like Loperamide is a miracle cure for opiate addiction. I literally mean that - it's a miracle cure. I genuinely believe this stuff has saved my life. The beauty of the lope is that it completely eliminates your cravings for opiates, without providing a high that I would call enjoyable. The lack of euphoria is enough that, over time, you stop having interest in opiates entirely. It's like you start to forget about them. And since the process of swallowing hundreds of pills is so disgusting and vile, it actually reprograms you to think that dosing is a BAD thing. So no longer do you have a fetish about dosing, like you would if you snorted, smoked, or IV'd a drug; rather, you learn to dread having to re-dose.
I don't know, I just really want you guys to know how amazing this drug has been for me. Don't get me wrong, it's NOT an instant, overnight fix for opiate addiction. But if you stick with it, it WILL eventually help you a great deal. It took roughly 18 months on the loperamide before I stopped thinking about opiates. Until then, I had to actively avoid them, and if someone offered some, I would have relapsed on the spot. But today, I can honestly say, if someone offered me opiates (which they actually have), I have and still would decline. I no longer crave or think about opiates in any way shape or form. It's just me and the Lope now. And while technically it's an opiate, everything about it is just so different... Man I wish I could make you guys understand.
I guess I already said it best - this stuff has genuinely saved my life. I can't even describe how good my life is now. I never thought I could be like this; so completely free from the clutches of opiate addiction. If any of you are trying to cure your opiate addiction, give Loperamide a shot. And I DO mean "cure," I don't mean simply getting clean. Getting clean, to me, means going to meetings and having sponsors and having to actively keep yourself from relapsing on a day to day basis... I've tried that game before, several times; it just flat out hasn't worked for me. Because honestly, I'd rather be a junkie than spend my life pathetically trying to keep from relapsing, every hour of every day. Thankfully, none of that is a concern anymore; this loperamide shit has made it so I never ever never crave or think about opiates, at all. Even if I run out of lope, and the days go by, and I start to withdrawal, it's SO much different from regular opiate addiction... It's just, I don't know. You'll have to experience it for yourself. It feels like running out of any other regular psychiatric med, NOT a drug.
Anyway, sorry for the long, rambling post. It's 3am and I'm falling asleep right now... I just want to try and pound this stuff in your brains - Loperamide WORKS, and it'll save your life. The worst part about it? You won't be able to get high on opiates anymore. It totally kills that. I'd honestly like to get high at least ONCE a year, maybe on my birthday, or on New Years... But the Lope somehow blocks or kills that, because opiates no longer have an effect on me, in any dose. I literally turn them down when they're offered because all I'd be doing is wasting them; they're like a placebo to me now. So yeah, that's the worst part about Lope - forced sobriety. It's okay though, it just forces you to keep from fucking up. I'd take my present-day life over getting high ANY day
