Thanks a lot.
It's a bit of a struggle but I hope it will be worth it.
Hey dont worry you havent pissed me off.
I too used to do ridiculously reckless things with regards to my drug use, which tbh, makes what you have written seem very sensible, that's just how extreme I was! (I would literally take doses of different cns depressants that could easily kill many non-tolerant people) I was an accidental drug overdose waiting to happen.
Try not to worry about living with your parents at 23, I still live at home and I'm quite a bit older than you. As for not going anywhere in life.... I dont want to come across as patronising, but, your 23, you have plenty of time to find your direction in life. Taking lots of drugs will only hinder this IME/IMO.
Again I hope this does not come across as a lecture, I just hope you can take something positive out of what I'm saying.
thank you. im gonna try to dose a little less reckless for now on. i admit, it probaly was a little over the top how much i took but i was having anxiety and was overall just feeling shitty about myself.
Perhaps the better option for a place to start posting would be The Dark Side. Honestly, none of us want to see anyone go down the road you seem adamant on traveling.
Stay safe, and start giving a fuck.
i know. i just dont post in the darkside because i feel like everyone is just gonna say "it will be ok, ive been there" and just the same ol shit i would expect and i just figure i would feel no different so why waste the time.
!%#$@! argh it keeps deleting what I try to post! Smokemctoke420 don't give up on life, this too shall pass. And don't feel unwelcome here. Will try re-writing my epic excellent post I was trying to make again tomorrow.
How is everyone?
thank you. that makes me feel a little better now. i just didnt feel welcomed cuz it sounded like everyone was being a little harsh but i know its for my own good now. i also just felt like i was singled out becaus eim pretty sure ive seen "glorifying" getting high before. i aint mad tho, alls good.
Smokemctoke my harsh approach was coming from love. I have seen too many people gone down the same path as you and never come back. I like you, you are cool, it isn't cool to get everyone worried that you are going to die. One more angry mother finding her dead son on bluelight...
Idk man, I wish you the very best, and I don't mean to be a Nazi ruler lol, I just don't want to see you ruin your life like many of us bluelighters have done.
i know buddy
i apreciate your concern.
it would be horrible for my mom to find me and she would see my posts, especially since i always stay logged in on both of my phone and on the family computer but no one will come on here even tho they know i post.
Your life has barely even begun man. You're still really young. The future holds a lot in store for you, but only if you really want it and work for it every day.
I used to think I wouldn't make it this far, but I have, and I never get suicidal anymore after my
IV DMT experience. I felt that my entire life was leading up to the point where I got to try IV DMT; everything I have gone through was worth it just to get to this point, and I'm forever humbled by this experience because I know the rest of my life is only going to get better.
I'm sure you haven't gotten to such a point in your life yet; you have to keep moving forward every day, and when you get to this point in your life, you'll be extremely thankful that you made it there.
im not exactly suicidal, i wouldnt do it because i couldnt do that to my family but at certain times if i was to accidentally die whether it was od or a car accident, whatever, i i wouldnnt really care. its not always like that but sometimes.
i havent gotten to the point of wanting to try dmt, anything more then shrooms sorta scares me. haha
thanks for your concern captain
im gonna try not to do that shit as much. if i combine them, ill use 1mg and thats it, i wont throw in the gabapentin and ill try not to drink. i ended up taking that 1 mg of xanax yesterday by itsself instead of taking it today with oxy. i do have .25 im about to take even tho i just dosed 20 mgs of oxy. its not that bad since its an extremly low dose.
i woke up to a text that said " you dont have to have your liscense to work at the golf course anymore". apparently my boss misunderstood when my other boss said you had to have your liscense to drive the dump truck and the pick up and he thought he meant for the whole course. so i dont have to worry about not having a job now.
i picked up a sack of some reggie and 240 mgs of oxy a little while ago. before i did that i woke up and went with my sister to the library. it was nice to go out and get some fresh air, especially since its 60 degrees today. i also got paid today from unemployment which was nice.
on HR topic: i found a app my iphone (its for other phones to). its called ITriage, its got symptoms checker, doctors, facilities (clinics, pharmacies, hospitals etc.), conditions, (has everything from cuts, to OD, to achillies tendon tears, to acne, i mean everything),medications (has tons of em), procedures, hotlines, and news.
i havent checked it out all the way but its got everything you need to know. it looks to be like an extremly helpful HR app. plus, for the symptoms checker its got a human buddy that you can rotate and point wherever the problem is and it will come up with a list of problems that could be there and you can even pick the gender and zoom in and all that.
................
ate 20 mgs of oxy earlier, im gonna add just .25 mgs of xanax, and some weed. gonna be having some dinner here soon also
