• Philosophy and Spirituality
    Welcome Guest
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules
    Threads of Note Socialize
  • P&S Moderators: Xorkoth | Madness

Are you afraid of death or have you made your peace?

aplumgirl said:
We are responsible for our choices.
Click to expand...

That I absolutely agree with. Its like our one superpower, the ability to make choices regardless of what our instincts or first reactions would make us feeL we should do. I just think that the responsibility goes deeper than saying we are living according to a plan. To me, it is we who make the plan. Unfortunately, that sort of responsibility can be a real burden but we all have ways of trying to make it through. :)

I'm curious; what do you think heaven will be like? I don't really know how to conceptualise such a place. I have believed in it, in my life- or was raised with the idea of it- and it always seemed really vague but always featured me seeing my grandfather (my dad's side) again. He was the gentlest and most good man I've ever known and I still wish I could see him again after 25 years...
 
swilow said:
That I absolutely agree with. Its like our one superpower, the ability to make choices regardless of what our instincts or first reactions would make us feeL we should do. I just think that the responsibility goes deeper than saying we are living according to a plan. To me, it is we who make the plan. Unfortunately, that sort of responsibility can be a real burden but we all have ways of trying to make it through. :)

I'm curious; what do you think heaven will be like? I don't really know how to conceptualise such a place. I have believed in it, in my life- or was raised with the idea of it- and it always seemed really vague but always featured me seeing my grandfather (my dad's side) again. He was the gentlest and most good man I've ever known and I still wish I could see him again after 25 years...
Click to expand...

I believe heaven is exactly what the Bible says. I believe there will be lakes, rivers ,mountains, valleys, plains, and gardens.

I believe there will be family members who were believers there, God will be on His throne, Jesus will be there with angels.

I believe there will be something very similar to Earth. We will have houses and districts so to speak.

I am not tying to prostylize to anyone, you asked my beliefs and I'm trying to specifically answer your questions.

I believe in predestination. We make our own choices, but God in His wisdom knew before creation what our choices would be. He says seek and you shall find. I believe that.
 
^I appreciate you answering my question even though it really makes no sense whatsoever for me.
 
Actually i'm not afraid of death. I'm afraid of feeling large amounts of pain before i die. No reason to be scared of death, it's coming for us all like a runaway freight train and there isn't no stopping it.
 
I believe my dad who passed merely a year ago is up their with his brothers & parents chilling back smoking pipes on puffy clouds.

For me, I am afraid of dying,- to leave my beloved sweetchildofmine.

Not just that, but seeing my grandma with dementia who is determined to stay in her own home after my grandfather recently had a fall from a great height & has been moved from hospital to a permanant nursing home to live out his last days when he was the support to my nan is difficult to see.

Rtp
 
its just pure blind faith though, how can you give over your innate wisdom to a literal interpretation of a book of myth and parable.
 
Some people would rather have it that way. It may sound insulting but sometimes it's just easier not to think, to be told everything is laid out, that this terrible tragedy, and that are serving bigger purposes. I think there's those who's faith is enormous to complete them and there are those who are simply frightened by the uncertainty of things without structure. When I read quotes like this though it always reaffirms my lack of belief in traditional religion,"I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours!". For me science is religion to me. It provides order and certainty in ways no religion ever could. The constant evolution and order to the way things are done. I think some would rather leap blindly hoping someone will be there to catch them then jumping thinking no one or knowing no one will.
 
Help?!?! said:
"I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours!".
Click to expand...

This is an awesome quote, thanks for that. :)
 
I'm sorry I'm so late to this thread, I don't come to this forum very frequently. I have been struggling with death anxiety for some time now. Everyone I love is significantly older than me (parents are in their 70's, husband is 20 years my senior, my pets are in their teens). Aside from injury or illness, some point in the the next 20 years I am going to be completely alone and that thought terrifies me. This is often the first thing I think about when I wake up and the last thing before going to bed. Even if I stop mid thought, the damage is done and the negative feelings persist.

I have never understood why suicide is such a taboo in our society, particularly in instances of terminal illness. So many people say suicide is selfish, but imo they are being selfish. If somebody has chronic pain, whether mental or physical, insisting that they continue to live is sadistic. I believe if somebody has thoughtfully considered their situation and all of their resources and options, and there truly is little chance of that situation to improve, then they are within their right to end their suffering. I don't see suicide in general as a selfish or cowardly act at all, as it takes great strength to be able to execute it as it goes against our inherent nature.

When I struggled with addiction, towards the end I seriously considered suicide as I had exhausted all available treatments. I had just gotten out of inpatient rehab, and after a month relapsed on alcohol again. My situation was worse than ever because I was going through benzo withdrawal along with the regular OCD, depression, and anxiety. The only thing that kept me from committing suicide was the hope that much of what I was going through was largely due to benzo withdrawal and subsequent PAWS. I gave myself a timeline of five years which I openly discussed with my family.

My situation has dramatically improved, but I still have my struggles. I battle my fear of death because I know someday I will be in a situation where my life will no longer continue to improve and I don't want to just wait to die and be in constant misery. The people in my family live well into their 90's and I have no desire to spend 30 or 40 years completely by myself battling severe anxiety and depression, and I figure if I have no loved ones left who the hell cares if I die.

As far as what comes after death, I don't have high hopes. I never had any philosophical epiphanies from psychedelics, though I believe I gained insight from a couple of severe grand mal siezures. If what I experienced during some of those siezures is any indication as to what to expect in death, then it is frightening to me. I suspect our consciousness/energy most likely dissipates and transfers into the environment, I doubt that it stays cohesive, which really makes me feel that life is intrinsically pointless, and that life is kind of a cosmic quirk that accidentally came about.

Thx for listening to my ravings - I wish I would have found this thread sooner as I have been struggling with the concept of death lately, and getting very little sleep. I'm getting ready to euthanize my 16 year old kitty whom I love like a child and am struggling with overwhelming guilt and grief, but I don't think he is going to get healthier or younger so it's a quality of life issue, but I feel like I am betraying him none the less. I can't get beyond the death anxiety and I feel like he is being penalized because of my fear.
 
:( Oh, Moreaux...I wish I could reach through cyberspace and give you a HUG. We all need to hear that "It's gonna be okay" even when we KNOW it really isn't. I'm sorry about your kitty, but you're doing the right thing. We had a Himalayan for 16 years that became very ill with kidney failure. It was hard, but we had to set him free through euthanasia.

He wasn't the first fir baby, nor the last, as we've had several leave us the same way. Our first Siamese lived for 11 years, surviving cancer and brain tumor. Our first Dalmatian survived 2 rounds of cancer and a venomous snake bite. Yet both of our babies grew weak and sick in their last days, requiring euthanasia.

We lost another Dal just after my birthday last year. She died suddenly of massive heart attack. She was a beautiful "picture" of health, so we were devastated. We still have her sissy Dal who is 9 years old. I know your fear of loss.

I know your fear of losing loved ones who are older, as well. SO MANY of my closest peeps have always been older than me (I'm 55). I've been to more funerals than I can count in the past years. My mom (spawn of Satan) is 90 years old. My dad died just before 9/11 event. I am the youngest of 6, so I have a sister and brother nearing 70. Thankfully, they are very healthy for now.

I am not. I suffer horrendous pain (long story) that meds can't touch. I'm in Pain Management, but it's not managed at all. I do not LIVE this life. I endure it. I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired. I realize that I am blessed with a loving husband of 36 years, a wonderful home and career that I love. Yet I feel so alone in this world. I "stay" only for my husband's sake.

I'm not nearly as afraid of my death as I am of his. I have no doubt that if he were to die today, I would too. I truly understand your fear of loneliness. I hope you find peace with your kitty's nite-nite. You are NOT betraying him. You are honoring his life of dignity. (((HUGS)))
 
Last edited:
Moreaux said:
I have never understood why suicide is such a taboo in our society, particularly in instances of terminal illness. So many people say suicide is selfish, but imo they are being selfish. If somebody has chronic pain, whether mental or physical, insisting that they continue to live is sadistic. I believe if somebody has thoughtfully considered their situation and all of their resources and options, and there truly is little chance of that situation to improve, then they are within their right to end their suffering. I don't see suicide in general as a selfish or cowardly act at all, as it takes great strength to be able to execute it as it goes against our inherent nature.
Click to expand...

This is exactly the way I think as well, and many here agree with that line of thinking. People should have personal freedom, including their own life.

Anyway, I wish you feel better soon if at all possible. Make sure to come back here more often, we're a nice bunch :)
 
Can I get in on these hugs?

I've lost the majority of my family to cancer. My father, my grandparents and step grandparents.

My wonderful aunt just found out she has breast cancer.

My mother is in pain all the time, though she has Medullary Sponge Kidney and not cancer, the thought of losing her to organ failure keeps me up at night.

My stepfather whom has been with me since before my father's death has minor COPD, and he's only 48.

I think a lot of us fear death everyday,

It is astonishing how alone we can feel even when surrounded by people we love. Like you're trapped inside yourself.

My childhood dog died just before my father.

The last thing you guys should do is let fear impede on your happiness, but I think you already know that. It is also amazing how some of the brightest and uptmost impactful bits of wisdom are the simplest statements. Like, "Don't let fear control you."

For the longest time I thought I understood what that meant, but after I realized how uncomfortable I actually was doing anything did I understand what it meant.

I too am afraid far more of my losing my family than losing myself, only because I care for their health. I can only imagine how they would feel if they lost me, and that is the only reason I try hard not to let fear control me, not to let things I can't change ruin my life.

I'm only 15 and I feel I've got one foot in the grave. I'll be growing gray hairs soon.

Pumped myself full of opioids this morning.
 
:) Indeed, Nix...Big ole bear (((HUGS))) to you and others who need them...always.
 
Nixiam said:
I'm only 15 and I feel I've got one foot in the grave. I'll be growing gray hairs soon.

Pumped myself full of opioids this morning.
Click to expand...

Not sure if you want hugs from a bearded science maniac, so I'll stick to plain (and boring) advice. Leave them opioids for the rest of the customers, will ya? Believe me, opioid dependence is a bitch, and I imagine you're not deep enough that you can quit (or at least cut your use) now and not suffer any consequences.

And I'll say my anti-family piece again. I never had a family-family. Yes, I had a mother and a father, but to me they were like roommates whom I had to obey. My point is, once you become adult, and you're getting there, you can forge your own family. Get a place, find a woman you love, and start working on building your own family.

I never felt any ties with my father-mother family (where I'm the child), and that's a big anomaly, I know, so maybe I'm missing something here. But I feel great positive emotional feedback and general happiness living with my own family (where I'm the dad). So there is a light at the end of the tunnel. You just have to get there, and in the best possible shape (no drug dependence, good degree or at least work experience and so on).

15 is not the end of the world. It's more like... the time you waste becoming a normal human being (~20+)
 
Thank you so much DixiChik - that was really heartfelt and meaningful!

Belligerent drunk - thank you! In my experience so few people agree. About 15 years ago my alcoholic uncle killed himself. He had been battling addiction his entire adult life, in and out of treatment. The family has never forgiven him, and I no longer speak to the family (aunts, uncles, grandmother) because I feel they are being selfish and irrational. They were nasty to him when he was alive because of his addiction, they're nasty about him in death. How mean spirited and selfish. With the way the family was I can see why he had so many problems. It's unfortunate that he couldn't find happiness but at least he finally has peace.
 
=D I always "joke" that if you shake my family tree, you'll find a lot of NUTS...myself included.

I also confess that my gene pool seems muddy.

Truthfully, there is tremendous dysfunction in my family, from birth to grave, on so many levels. I have invested so much of myself, I have nothing left for me. I don't believe I'll ever find a sense of peace there.

As a child, I was helpless. As an adult, I suffer no fools and sometimes poke bears.

I speak my truth, though my siblings distract, divert and deny. I'm not terribly popular, even with my 90 year old mom. I am the POA for her, so I am the perceived enemy. She's been in a nursing home since hip replacement in 2005. I have the lowest of expectations of my siblings in helping me with mom. Yet they still disappoint and piss me off. This contributes to the stress, which my doctor says will "slam my coffin" sooner than I think.

My mom is, was and always will be EVIL. I never got those (((HUGS))) or any other affection. I am far more of a mother to her than she EVER was to the 6 of us. I do this more for myself I guess, than for her. I don't want to exist in regret.

Wow, I took that convo totally into the ditch, didn't I? Guess I could just use a friend to "type" to! :\

I joke that I wear riot gear to visit her. Oh, and there's a sign on her door that reads "Free Broom Rides".

Gotta laugh until the UGLY cry sets in!
 
belligerent drunk said:
Not sure if you want hugs from a bearded science maniac, so I'll stick to plain (and boring) advice. Leave them opioids for the rest of the customers, will ya? Believe me, opioid dependence is a bitch, and I imagine you're not deep enough that you can quit (or at least cut your use) now and not suffer any consequences.
Click to expand...

I said it before but I will say it again for emphasis because I feel really strongly about it... you do NOT want to go down the road of opiate dependence. It seems like an easy way to numb the pain... because it is, short-term. But soon you will slip down the slope of addiction and your life will gain a new, tremendous source of pain and guilt and regret and shittiness that is really hard to get out of. You'll realize that as bad as it was before, it's far worse once you're addicted to opiates. All the negatives will be magnified tremendously, and the only way to feel even the normal level of shittiness you feel now is to take opiates every day to avoid withdrawal and emotional imbalance. Hindsight is 20/20, so take it from me and others, who already have that opiate hindsight... it's not worth it. It's not worth it. It's not worth it.

It's not worth it. <3

15 is not the end of the world. It's more like... the time you waste becoming a normal human being (~20+)
Click to expand...

This, also. Age 15-18 is a huge period of becoming yourself (and after too, your 20s are another big part of that but late teen years are the most intense), and that process is uncomfortable for many people, especially thoughtful, intelligent, "different" people. At some point you're going to realize you feel a lot more comfortable being yourself... until then you gotta hang on and try to remember that you're in a hugely transitional and difficult time that will pass.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top