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Are you afraid of death or have you made your peace?

nuttynutskin

nuttynutskin

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May 15, 2011
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I definitely am scared of death despite how self destructive I've been at various times. But I fear both the process and what happens afterwards. If I make it to old age I would like to think I'd have the courage to just eat a bullet and end it when my quality of life started slipping, but I'm not sure I would be able to. I definitely support doctor assisted suicide tho because slowly dying in pain would suck. Other than that I also fear not having accomplished everything I wanted to in life and dying alone.

Anyways, what do you guys think?

Are you afraid of dying? Are you afraid of what happens afterwards? Are you afraid of both? Have you made your peace? THOUGHTS!!!
 
No, it's hard to remember a time when I truly was except maybe when I was really young. Life's certainly can be miraculous and beautiful, but death is where it always ends. To not accept that, to me, is deluded and insane. I can certainly see why others fear it though. To me a permanent dirt nap is a peaceful relief rather than something to relish. Plus I've always been highly interested in seeing what does or doesn't come next.
 
nuttynutskin said:
I definitely am scared of death despite how self destructive I've been at various times. But I fear both the process and what happens afterwards. If I make it to old age I would like to think I'd have the courage to just eat a bullet and end it when my quality of life started slipping, but I'm not sure I would be able to. I definitely support doctor assisted suicide tho because slowly dying in pain would suck. Other than that I also fear not having accomplished everything I wanted to in life and dying alone.

Anyways, what do you guys think?

Are you afraid of dying? Are you afraid of what happens afterwards? Are you afraid of both? Have you made your peace? THOUGHTS!!!
Click to expand...

Thanks for creating this thread. This for me at least is the only real question of Philosophy. I fear death and yet I crave it. Life has left me unfulfilled and now I deal with physical pain and drug addiction. I have planned well my exit but fear it's implementation. When I read Ernest Becker's " Denial of Death" and looked at Terror Management Theory I finally understood why. I know it's ingrained in my very humanity but still feel weak and guilty for my lack courage. I've been dwelling on this tonight and my dreams have reflected my dilemma this and every night. I do believe that one day soon the pain, both physical and emotional will allow me to end my suffering (due to others , some personal friends who have gone before me) but I have a meantime while I await my perfect storm. So in this meantime I endeavor towards compassion for myself and all other suffering beings. I do what I can. I wish everyone the best of luck.

This is a very difficult admission for me.
 
^I admire the way that you sit with death in the same room, cosmic trigger. I have read enough of your posts to understand at least some of what you deal with mentally and physically. It seems to me that you are a very deep lover of life to have survived your childhood with your ability to feel intact. I can imagine how adding layers of physical suffering and addiction would tip the scales towards escaping the body. I would like to read Terror Management Theory (have read Becker's Denial of Death).

I do not think it is biologically possible for us not to want to survive on some level. I have watched some dying people pass through the struggle of that fear and into a deep peace but the peace at the end is not a given it seems. My grandmother was the only person I know that seemed to truly welcome death and that was because she so literally believed in the concept of heaven. She had been hacked apart by one stroke after another and in her mind death was the glorious door she was crawling towards that led to an end to all her suffering. I was an atheist teen when I witnessed that death and I remember feeling almost a jealousy that my grandmother could so literally think she was going to a place where she would be wholly restored as herself, healthy, emotionally fulfilled and free of any cares at all.

Vic Chestnut had a near death (paralyzing) motorcycle accident and several suicide attempts over many years before he finally ended his life. He wrote a pretty amazing song about realizing that in fact he was not ready. And then one day, he was. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V4Z-kjr4BLs

A friend of mine just ended her life two weeks ago, an even closer friend, 3 months ago. I am in some kind of limbo in my mind about both of these deaths. Both suffered in life, there is no denying that . In the case of my close friend this was very much rooted in old childhood experiences that would not release him. Death, I'm quite sure was the release they both sought but for me, and all the others they left behind, there is now so much more sadness. The weight of my friend's death is dark shadow that follows me everywhere. Maybe this is why I resonate with what I perceive to be your intimate relationship with death; I talk to death as a presence every day. I pester death with questions, I lash out and berate, I even beg sometimes. Death never answers of course, but sits there fully making its presence felt.
 
herbavore said:
^I admire the way that you sit with death in the same room, cosmic trigger. I have read enough of your posts to understand at least some of what you deal with mentally and physically. It seems to me that you are a very deep lover of life to have survived your childhood with your ability to feel intact. I can imagine how adding layers of physical suffering and addiction would tip the scales towards escaping the body. I would like to read Terror Management Theory (have read Becker's Denial of Death).

I do not think it is biologically possible for us not to want to survive on some level. I have watched some dying people pass through the struggle of that fear and into a deep peace but the peace at the end is not a given it seems. My grandmother was the only person I know that seemed to truly welcome death and that was because she so literally believed in the concept of heaven. She had been hacked apart by one stroke after another and in her mind death was the glorious door she was crawling towards that led to an end to all her suffering. I was an atheist teen when I witnessed that death and I remember feeling almost a jealousy that my grandmother could so literally think she was going to a place where she would be wholly restored as herself, healthy, emotionally fulfilled and free of any cares at all.

Vic Chestnut had a near death (paralyzing) motorcycle accident and several suicide attempts over many years before he finally ended his life. He wrote a pretty amazing song about realizing that in fact he was not ready. And then one day, he was. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V4Z-kjr4BLs

A friend of mine just ended her life two weeks ago, an even closer friend, 3 months ago. I am in some kind of limbo in my mind about both of these deaths. Both suffered in life, there is no denying that . In the case of my close friend this was very much rooted in old childhood experiences that would not release him. Death, I'm quite sure was the release they both sought but for me, and all the others they left behind, there is now so much more sadness. The weight of my friend's death is dark shadow that follows me everywhere. Maybe this is why I resonate with what I perceive to be your intimate relationship with death; I talk to death as a presence every day. I pester death with questions, I lash out and berate, I even beg sometimes. Death never answers of course, but sits there fully making its presence felt.
Click to expand...

Thanks for that thoughtful reply. Once I read Becker several times I became aware of the rock and hard place we inhabit. It's no wonder if Becker is correct that we often push our death anxiety into the unconscious. The interesting thing about Terror Management Theory is that they ran with Becker's work and created some very convincing scientific tests to verify his his ideas. It's quite telling to me that while debating the merits of death anxiety so many people over the years of my debating this subject have refused to investigate this material and yet vehemently deny it's merit.

For myself while I do feel sadness at the loss of a loved one I am usually overwhelmed with gratitude at their deliverance which greatly decreases or even eliminates my suffering. And no matter how I feel the fact remains that everything dies and is forgotten in time as if it never were.
I'll leave you with this and thanks again for posting. http://player.mashpedia.com/player.php?ref=mashpedia&q=REUxZtfrU-o

and if you are a fan of Schopenhauer.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S7pwItrhEZo
 
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herbavore said:
Vic Chestnut had a near death (paralyzing) motorcycle accident and several suicide attempts over many years before he finally ended his life. He wrote a pretty amazing song about realizing that in fact he was not ready. And then one day, he was. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V4Z-kjr4BLs
Click to expand...

Never heard of him... Good song. While we're at it, Type O Negative, or more accurately Peter Steele's morbid vision of death...

 
While I'm not afraid of death in and of itself, I am afraid of who I hurt when I leave. To me, everything that I have to live for is the same that I have to die for.
 
I'm not afraid of death, I'm afraid of a painful or mediocre life. Death means you're done, life means you have to do shit.
 
I have met no one in all my years that in the end did not feel their life was not painful and mediocre.
 
Oh my god. I was googling my ancestry, I just found out my biological grandfather (my fathers father) just died. My sister had mentioned something like this a couple months ago, but I dismissed it.

Damn. Never got to meet him.

I have an incredible sense of fogginess, why do I feel like I already knew this and just repeated myself?
 
Why would the living fear death? I believe when I die I wont care about being dead so I dont care now. At worst if its something to care about it is better left to care when i am dead, as thats the only time it matters.

I would prefer it happens at a time that is convenient for me but again we dont get to pick such things. The one thing I am "afraid" of in this is pain for myself or regret that i got myself in the situation needlessly. Like if i thought i could stop a robbery and bleed out stupidly thinking "why did i think i could stop that guy"
 
szuko000 said:
Why would the living fear death? I believe when I die I wont care about being dead so I dont care now. At worst if its something to care about it is better left to care when i am dead, as thats the only time it matters.

I would prefer it happens at a time that is convenient for me but again we dont get to pick such things. The one thing I am "afraid" of in this is pain for myself or regret that i got myself in the situation needlessly. Like if i thought i could stop a robbery and bleed out stupidly thinking "why did i think i could stop that guy"
Click to expand...

The living fear death because it has survival value for one thing.
 
Cosmic Trigger said:
The living fear death because it has survival value for one thing.
Click to expand...

Yeah but you dont eat because you fear dying or fear a plane crash because it jeopardizes your survival in a sense... I think survival and fear of death are separate from each other somehow, survival being just too vague at least in my opinion.
 
LOL. No we don't eat because we fear dying, unless we are starving that is. Then people will eat questionable things that they might die from or even overcome taboos to eat each other. The are not separate but fear of death goes beyond pure survival on a psychological level. If you really are interested here's an easy place to start.
http://www.tmt.missouri.edu/
 
I think just like the fight or flight response that there is a biological aspect, that we're wired to try not to/not want to die.
 
Cosmic Trigger said:
Thanks for creating this thread. This for me at least is the only real question of Philosophy. I fear death and yet I crave it. Life has left me unfulfilled and now I deal with physical pain and drug addiction. I have planned well my exit but fear it's implementation. When I read Ernest Becker's " Denial of Death" and looked at Terror Management Theory I finally understood why. I know it's ingrained in my very humanity but still feel weak and guilty for my lack courage. I've been dwelling on this tonight and my dreams have reflected my dilemma this and every night. I do believe that one day soon the pain, both physical and emotional will allow me to end my suffering (due to others , some personal friends who have gone before me) but I have a meantime while I await my perfect storm. So in this meantime I endeavor towards compassion for myself and all other suffering beings. I do what I can. I wish everyone the best of luck.

This is a very difficult admission for me.
Click to expand...

Thanks for sharing this difficult insight. As Herby said, I too admire your unflinching gaze into abyss. You have shared an insight that perhaps only dying reveals. You are making something positive, with utility, that others can gain from. That is meaningful. That is important. So, despite the darkness I hear in your posts, know that you are spreading light- I wholeheartedly thank you. <3 I hope you find peace in whatever you do. But, please, stick with us for as long as you can bear it. <3
 
Man are you selfish. =D

I should have been out of here about a year ago. I had a failed attempt when I was new to the game and didn't know what I was doing. The strange thing is that first attempt was easy and now I'm reluctant to try again. That's pretty interesting when I think on it and I'd like to know what is psychologically behind that. My next attempt will succeed unless the gods are truly against me. I've really done my research in the past year. Right now I'm recovering from a surgery on my right hand and so I have a lot of pain meds on hand. That at times makes things almost pleasant. But over time opiates start to feel somehow plastic and boring. Still they do dull the physical pain.

My real issues though are psychological. I'm truly depressed. The physical pain was what put me over the edge into action to end this thing called being alive. It's gotten old.
 
Death is truly a feared subject among humans for the most part. It's really a taboo even to directly mention and it can kill a conversation quick.

But here's the shit that sticks in my craw. We here in the first world at least are supposed to be all about personal freedom. The idea of mastering your own ship is touted as the be all and end all of the strong and courageous and fulfilled human. Fulfilled and free to build our own world rather than follow the crowd and just be a weak willed sheep. Until it comes to suicide that is. Then everyone comes up with, IMO, tons of nonsense about it being cowardly or selfish or just wrong. Yet it is by far and away the ultimate expression of free will. We as a race would rather condemn countless humans to worlds of suffering than just to say. "Hey it's your life, do what you will with it and I'll do the same". IMO anything other than that position is out and out cowardice and that my friends rules the game. Yes, IMO we fear death sometimes consciously and always unconsciously. Becker explained it and the Terror Management Theory folk scientifically proved it beyond doubt.

I'm all about the right to suicide and have been long before I got ill. I want freedom for myself and I do not in any fashion want to try and control what others do and long as it does not PHYSICALLY hurt others. I want to be brave I want to let others be. Let's not condemn and jail free, brave and heroic men who act on it like Dr. Kevorkian did. A truly compassionate human. What we did to him is a sure symbol of how we fear death. Let's grow up into strong adults and let others do the same. Death is the total outcome of everything. Let's give it it's due.

http://www.viewzone.com/Fear-Of-Death.html
http://doubtcast.org/docs/galen_tmt_cfimi_2010.pdf
End of Sermon/Rant.=D
 
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