-alone-

^^

Thanks sweetie, and btw, Happy Anniversary to you two as well - I think about you both a lot, and hope that you guys are as happy as ever :)

MUAH!

Melissa

.
 
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I would like to say that this is my second post here on this thread, and apologise for adding to it if this is not appropiate. i would like to also say that i do not know any of the members mentioned here, other than their postings on bluelight, and obviously the story that is told.

However, after reading the recent posts - i have been able to balance my life in terms of the failed relationship that i have had. I would be lieing to say that i was not hurt, and also not feeling malicious towards the other person, however once again, reading the post i have tears welled in my eyes and realised the warped perspective that i had, and realised how much better i am than the other person. It made me realise that time is precious and that i need not waste it on people who are.... . I can not think of the word, but i mean to describe someone who is hurtful, deceitful, disrespectful, untrusting, undecidied.

It has made me realise once again, as it did the first time i read it, that i should hold my hope for love and romance, and not become bitter by the failed relationships that i have experienced. i no longer hold malice. i have moved on.

For that i sincerly thank you. papermate.
 
I don't remember when it first was that I read this, but like so many others...it made me cry too. I used the search to find every single one of his writings that was posted and I read all of them...holding onto each word and the images they created. It's such powerful writing that can stir emotions like this out of nowhere.

And then...I found out that he wasn't with us anymore. It made me really angry. I didn't even know him...I didn't even read his writings until he was gone. But it made me so mad, I'm not sure at who. He had such an incredible talent and he had so many more things to write, I'm sure of it. I was angry that it was taken away from him...and I was angry that there were so many people that would never get to read his words...never be aware that he had such a talent.

Hugs and sentiments go out to all of those who knew him. Cherish him and your memories of him forever (as I know you will).
 
Originally posted by Oopsz
It does my heart good to hear that. And I severely doubt I'm the only one. Be well, la fleur.
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{{{Oopsz}}}
merci, sri...


Originally posted by papermate
It has made me realise once again, as it did the first time i read it, that i should hold my hope for love and romance, and not become bitter by the failed relationships that i have experienced. i no longer hold malice. i have moved on. For that i sincerly thank you. papermate.
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Joshua would be the first one to smile at something good coming out of a tragedy, trust me on that. I'm glad that it helped you, as I'm sure he would be too... and, from personal experience: sounds to me like you're on the right track... don't hold on to bitterness and malice, there are too many precious moments to lose in doing so. Yet, at the same time... don't be too quick to move on with everything; some things are worth holding onto, no matter how much they hurt.


Originally posted by kiwikr720
He had such an incredible talent and he had so many more things to write, I'm sure of it. I was angry that it was taken away from him...and I was angry that there were so many people that would never get to read his words...never be aware that he had such a talent.
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*sigh* Boy does that hit home. You mentioned that you didn't know him, so you probably don't know me either, but Josh (Spedly) is... was... my husband.

I know all about that anger, being so pissed off both at him and the world that will never be able to experience his true potential. He wasn't just a gifted writer, that boy had something truly special (yes, I'm biased, but just ask half the people who've responded to this thread and I'm sure they'll agree). There was so much inside of him that he wanted to express, and never got the chance to do so...

I'm angry, yes. But also blessed. Not just because I was lucky enough to experience him for who he was and share a portion of our lives together, but because there is more that he did express... so much more he'd written down... some of it personal between the two of us, some of it tucked away and saved to be given to our child someday (who now will never be). And yet still some that I may someday post here or somewhere else, just so that the world will have the oppurtunity to read what came out of his mind and heart... beauty. Pure beauty.

I love him with all of my heart, and I keep coming back to this thread because it helps sometimes to be reminded that I wasn't the only one he reached, deep inside... this thread keeps some part of him alive for me, and for that, I am truly, TRULY grateful.

-Melissa
 
Furnace said:
quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Love is the best friend anyone could ever ask for.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Ahh, if only it was that easy...
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I posted the first reply to this thread on a very dark day for me.

I lost a part of the most important friendship I think I've ever had to me that day...

Everytime I saw it bumped, it reminded me of that day, but now...after all this time, it reminds me of how me and my friend have managed to maintain our friendship with each other regardless of the crap that we, as people, have had to deal with.

I thank you for this, and now, after all this time, I do agree with Josh.

love,
Taz.
 
always returning to this thread like most of us, Like it is a light that keeps us glowing when days are bad.

This last week, i went a fureral, first one i have been to in along time, so many people have left my life, within that last 2 yrs,
but last friday it hit home for me, Josh was one of those people on my mind, reminding me of love and life,

FLower, you two are always on my mine, reminder of what love is and what life is about. You have always been a pilar of strength darlin, even in the worst of times.

Josh gave you even more strength, this thread is not just about josh , but about you and about teaching all of us, we all can be strong no matter what happens in our lives.

thank you josh

I love you mel.

Love cin
 
I miss you girl - too much.


Josh and I were "the Bonny and Clyde of Love" (thank you Amy) and I will never forget that... a love like ours comes once in a million lifetimes...

I miss you.

We'll talk soon. Today I am too intoxicated and irrational to post or conversate appropriately (forgive me).... but soon... soon... email me (screw those PM's) at [email protected] ok? We need to talk...

Love you girl...

Me
 
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To the mods -

is there a way to make this thread a sticky thread so it won't 'get lost' among the posts made here? So it'll always be up there with the guidelines. Just thought about it - and it deserves its place up there because it's a good thread.
 
bump/ enforce sticky ^^^^ like bisKi_b mentioned. ...i swear i read this at least once a week, just to keep my head up... :) love*
 
^^ me too.

Melissa, we freaking love you girl. Like we said a 3 hour drive wouldn't hurt us and now a 11 hour drive won't ;) *muah*
 
Mel, I love you and Josh like family. I'm truly sorry we were so close and missed seeing each other other. I was looking forward to it very much. I owe you a meetup, all you have to do is tell me when and where, and I'll be there. I'll do anything I can for you, all you have to do is ask. Please keep in touch, I miss you more than you know.

Craig.
 
SpeedLimit55 said:
Outta sight outta mind right? Now if only they'd stop screaming...

****

It's interesting the way humans can find the humor in any situation, at anytime, regardless of the heartbreak or massive level of loss involved...I suppose we really create the humor...sort of an aid to help us deal with it...

****

Sitting on that bench watching the sunset I was by myself....but for the first time in my life I knew...I wasn't alone.
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To whomever suggested it (and seconded the motion) and to the mods who did so - thanks for making this a sticky thread... I know I'm biased, but I like having this post is on the top of the page, knowing the impact it's had on so many people - much like the beloved author himself, methinks.

(((Ange))) I love and miss you and my brother like you wouldn't beleive. I have an email from ya'll with your number... now I just need to use it :)

(((Craig))) Yeah you bastard - drove all that way and didn't come to see us!! harumph! You definately owe me a meetup - wanna come help me move... .again? Yeah, seems they have this pesky little "no dogs" rule where Mr. Reedly lives, and they just don't understand that Izabelle isn't just some dog... *sigh* So - I have to move out by this weekend. <--- more of that spectacular luck/karma/whatever of mine at work, eh?

We found an apartment, but my credit sucks ass thanks to a roommate stiffing me with some bills a long time ago (thank you, by the way, if you still lurk around, for helping me square that debt away). We should find out about the apartment today, I've been sitting by the phone waiting... driving myself nuts basically. If it falls through, I might just be coming to visit YOU on my drive down to move back to Florida. Or maybe I'll just ask the in-laws if I could move back in with them *grin*

Whatever happens, you will be seeing me soon, even if it means having a huge meetup in Ohio and making your ass drive right back up here - and making Dave and Ange drive over, too... You all are my family, and I miss the hell out of you, I could use a get-to-gether.

Love you guys too much for words to express... thank you.
 
Mel,

I made the post sticky, as it should be :)

And girl, you know one you have your angel always watching out for you,, but not only that you have so many people who love you
just put your hand out and you have more hands then you can count to help you up.

I love you girl
today of all days mama is down but i come here to know i have such a strong girl,,,, and remember i am gona pester you know.



Josh,
keep a watch over my girl !
 
It's been awhile

Hi josh. It's been awhile. I've been so damn busy, ya know? But I thought I owed you a few quick lines while I'm home today. How you been? I know you're probably watching over us, so you know what I've been going through lately... its really tough. Although it kinda helps knowing I might have a guardian angel up there somewhere =D
I've been in this damn depression, and sometimes it's really hard to get out of, but you still, to this day, give me the inspiration that things really aren't as bad as i think they are... and that every rainbow's end has something good waiting for us. I'm trying to be strong... just like you were. I wouldn't mind the extra help though, if you can talk to the higher-ups and maybe send some down, that would be great.
I hope that heaven is treating you good...
Still miss ya.

Thanks for letting me vent, as always.

*kiss on cheek*

Hi Flower... hope you're doing well in Ohio (as well as one CAN do in ohio, lol). Let me know if you need anything... you seem happier these days, and that makes me happy. You deserve it.
 
reading this again today because i need to remember - especially when i'm starting to falter again.
 
wow...

i can't believe i'd never read that before. even though i'm a cynical bastard, that was still a really awesome read :)
 
Hi baby boy! Isn't it funny how just when you think you've survived the earthquake, an aftershock can knock you back a few steps again? You're on my mind lately (which isn't new), and I still draw so much from our friendship (also not new)... I'm gonna make you proud of me, I swear it. Some days it's impossible to want to strive to live up to my own ambitions for myself, and when that happens I bank on knowing the me that you knew I could be.

People let me down now and then, Josh. Even those that I care so much about and give so much of myself to (and don't think I don't know, it's my choice to do that, there is no blame here) turn out to be different from how I'd imagined or hoped. Things that are important to me aren't all that big for them, and it can bring hurt when I'm not expecting any. You, my dear, could never have been one of those people. Because love was the only thing we ever gave a lot of weight to when it came to each other, it's the one priority that I could always count on you having. I still count on you, on my memories of how life used to be, on my dreams of how my life could be... I forgot for a while, but you'll always be the one to remind me to count on myself too. Thanks for that. god I miss you...
 
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