-alone-

^ hey girl. i just was catching up on it all again, and i know you've just gotten to OH and I know we've just met, but i pledge to do whatever i can to help you not hate Ohio so much.
 
i read this post when josh first posted it and thought it was amazing...since i heard what happened, i haven't felt that i'd be able to come back and read it, cause i thought that my heart would break...

today, so long afterwards i managed and am so glad that i did...my heart did break and i cried right the way through, but flower, your strength is an inspiration, you and josh inspired so many people and will always continue to. You've been through so much, more than anyone should ever have to go through and yet you are so positive and strong!

i never met either of you, but read many of your posts...you're both amazing! I really hope that time has made things easier and that you get all of the good things that you deserve, because you deserve only good!

Your strength truly inspires me...

xxx
 
Last edited:
Josh,
Yeah sorry about disturbing your girl yesterday but I think she was happy with the news,, It is time for her to see her mama
She needs to feel my love in person for her. Thank you for letting her know it is time

I will hug her so hard for you when i see her. All the strength you have put into her, more then she already have. Josh i wish i was going to be seeing you both, but you know izzie is doing her best to protect her,,, i hope i am doing best as her mama to be there too.

You know what she is going through and me too,,, I do my best to help, if i could only help more. Soon she will see the mountains and look up at the star you are in the sky.

love
cin
 
I know i am under Dave's name joshy,but in a sense this is from both of us anyway. I know i havn't wrote on here in a while, my life has been crazy hectic...school..and work...and trying to learn how to be a good wife. Sometimes things are so hectic, i lose sight of how much i appreciate the things around me. Your one of those things josh...b/c i know you watch over us and help us get through everyday.

Miss you with all my heart.
Ange
 
Even though I was on the board when all this happened I didn't understand what was going on. Now going back and reading all this stuff makes me happy and sad at the same time. Happy that there are so many caring people out there supporting flower after this trauma and sad that I missed out on knowing this incredible person named Josh.
 
I want to lock this thread.

But not to lock anything out - I want to lock everyone who posted in.

You've all understayed your welcome... considerably.

fuck :(
 
hey josh

I'm having a tough time again josh. Are you watching this whole bit of drama from up there? I'm looking for some kind of guidance... some answers... motivation. I had to go back and read this again today for strength, and I got it. I dont know if i got the answers i was looking for, but i got other things out of it. i miss you. i wish you could come back and write something new for me to find meanings in... i really do.

i hope they are taking care of you up there.
 
I'm faltering baby.

It's late and I can't sleep... when I close my eyes the internal home movies start to play, each causing a pang of heartache at the images of your seraphic smile, the sound of your laugh, the way your eyes would light up...

Some days are better than others. This is not one of those days. Funny, how people "admire" my "strength" - laughable really. I'm not strong. I'm not even living anymore... I'm on auto-pilot, just going through the motions, a shell of who I used to be. I don't know what I'm doing anymore, I've completely lost my way.

I miss you more than words could ever hope to express. Every minute of every hour of every day, my love.

*sigh* :(
 
You know how I feel, Mel. And I'll talk to you soon. :)
 
Last edited:
thanks, for the hope....

24.gif
 
:(
to have loved you with so much passion...

it just breaks my heart.
 
Happy Father's Day Josh, may you spend it with those you love. I have thought about you a great deal today. Every time my thoughts have touched anywhere near you, my mind’s eye opened and showed me a vision of your family. I see all three of you spending the day together, whole and healed at last and with each radiant face shining brilliantly with shared love and joy. After awile my own face turns to chaos as I lose my sweet dream to the clash of a slow smile curving my lips and bitter tears of flowing from my eyes. There is nothing in the world for which my desire burns hotter or my need more desperate than to share such a day. One single day spent sheltered by the warmth of your family, peacefully soaking in the powerful warmth and love so freely given, and so joyfully received. There is no way yet, I can not yet join you, nor can you join me. I will wait then, and I will be content to keep you pictured thus in my heart, forever remembering you as in my dream, everything so right, and everyone filled with that wonderful love and happiness.

Until we meet again, your brother and friend,

Craig.
 
Happy Father's Day my love. Take good care of our baby. I love you both with all my heart, for all of eternity. :(

24.gif


((Craig))
 
Mel, if you feel like catching up, please shoot me an email, I’d like to hear from you. I've made some poor decisions lately and seriously neglected my friends for far too long. I want to start making amends before everyone forgets about me. :\ There are some good people around here that I'd like to get back in touch with (especially you!). No one can afford to throw away good friends, least of all me.

As for the rest of you schmucks, you're all welcome to email too, I'd like to talk to/hear from just about everyone ('cept that crowE guy). I apologize for my extended absence and I'll try to send out a What's-Griff-Been-Up-Too letter in a few days.

Best Regards,
Griffiepoo.
 
Last edited:
Happy Fathers Day Josh -- I have missed you this year.

Don't worry Mel, he is taking wonderful care of your baby.. Griff and Mel -- my thoughts are with you all the time.. I am always here for you.

I will never forget you guys..
 
tears

ya know josh, every time i read this, i take something different out of it.

Since a real man doesn't cry, I turned my head to the side. Choking back the lump in my throat and refusing to let my eyes tear up...I took a deep breath.
"Every chance I get".
Click to expand...

i keep telling myself to be thankful for what i have, even though sometimes it feels like that's not much. i'm so in love with this person, who i thought loved me too, and now its like he looks right through me, just like the one before him, and the one before him... its so hard to love someone that much and have them just push you aside all the time. sometimes i have to go back and read all the things you wrote, and i'm so jealous of what melissa had... i'm so jealous that there's love like that out there in the world, and it feels like i just give and give until i can't give anymore and feels like i'm not getting anything back. and i know if you were here you'd probably tell me to just be grateful that i even have someone in my life who is as good to me as he is, and i know that i'm fortunate for him to still be here, when melissa only has your memory to cling to. so i'm ashamed of myself for wanting more, but at the same time, i wish to God that i have what you had with her.... to know what it felt like to be loved that much, even just for one day.

its strange, how we find one person in life who changes everything for us. The way we live, the way we see the world. I really believe you found that person when you found her. I can't imagine what it must be like to have that person beside you, and then one day, to not have them there anymore. What it must be like to wake up in the middle of the night, and they are not there beside you. Even though these days he sleeps with his back to me, he is still there.

I haven't been able to write lately. I've tried, but my thoughts are so scattered these days that i dont really even know WHAT i'm feeling. i feel like my life is missing something, but i dont know what. I went back and read this piece again today, looking for the answers that i'm always looking for, and if nothing else, i took some strength out of it. And i have to admit, i cried. A lot. I dont know what it is that keeps me coming back here. Usually i dont even have to go back and read it, i practically know the whole thing word for word; but today, sitting here alone in my room, reading the words that you once wrote, emotion overtook me. I got to thinking about all these issues i have in my life. And i wish i could sign onto AIM and you would give me some of your good advice. but that cant be.

i just want to say thanks... for writing this once upon a time. it still gives me hope, strength, and wisdom. And it reminds me that love is still the most important thing we can have. Even if you just keep giving it and giving it....
 
i was just so touched by this writing and i have to let the world know.

you touched my soul. thank you for putting into words the emotions all of us share... not all of us can put it the way you do.. and i thank you again.

peace & love
 
Last edited:
Hey you. July 3 came and went... I smiled the whole day, couldn't help myself. Now the next day was a different story but we are the masters of trading a good day for a bad one, no complaints.

I talked to Mel today, baby boy. And I could hear her smiling over the phone lines from thousands of miles away, the joy is back in her life sweetie. Told you she'd be stronger than ever, your love does that for people ya know. So you don't worry about us, enjoy the sunrises from where you are and I'll talk to you soon. Damn how I love you. :)


Griff: tried emailing ya, tried calling. Find me sweetie. I sure could stand a dose of you in my life right now - and at anytime for that matter.
 
I guess not a lot of people look at this forum. Still thinking of you, josh.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top