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  • EADD Moderators: axe battler | Pissed_and_messed

Alcohol - The shittiest 'high' of all?

Cool. Give yourself credit, when that credit is justified. I think that now it is. But if your goal is perfection, you are destined to get disappointed. Even the best human, and there is exactly one of them out of 7 billion or so, is far from perfect.
Perfection isn’t my goal. I just want to be happy with out substances, live a content life, be there for anyone in my
Life that needs help and try and do my part to help the Earth.
 
Perfection isn’t my goal. I just want to be happy with out substances, live a content life, be there for anyone in my
Life that needs help and try and do my part to help the Earth.
Do you think you would take substances for kicks if you were actually happy? Or do you look forward to an abstinent life?
 
Perfection isn’t my goal. I just want to be happy with out substances, live a content life, be there for anyone in my
Life that needs help and try and do my part to help the Earth.

Okay i think i get it. On the other hand, i think that i do not. I gave up seeking happiness long time ago. Decades ago. It is just not there for me. Please, do not accuse me of self pity, that is not the case. People in real life sometimes accuse me of self pity. If i think that i am worth less than nothing, how can i pity myself? But i think that we play on the same side anyway. Save the Earth or GTFO :D
 
Do you think you would take substances for kicks if you were actually happy? Or do you look forward to an abstinent life?

I do look forward to an abstinent life. I was doing amazing a couple of years before an acute mental breakdown that took months to get over. Before that breakdown I was so happy being sober for the most part.

I think I would take a shit load less if I were happy. I mean I’m happy and jovial and laugh heaps with friends when I’m doing stuff with them. It’s when I end up by myself with nothing but my mind to ruminate is when I get quite depressed. I’m mid thirties now and going nowhere fast with no partner.

but yeh sincei started using more opiates I can feel them getting their hooks in me and I’m less enthusiastic about being sober at the moment.

I also would say I don’t really take substances for “kicks” I mean I used to when younger you know going out and getting on mdma with mates.

now it’s just to relax and stop my mind from being anxious and depressed I would say.
 
Okay i think i get it. On the other hand, i think that i do not. I gave up seeking happiness long time ago. Decades ago. It is just not there for me. Please, do not accuse me of self pity, that is not the case. People in real life sometimes accuse me of self pity. If i think that i am worth less than nothing, how can i pity myself? But i think that we play on the same side anyway. Save the Earth or GTFO :D
So you struggle with low self esteem?
I definitely do, it prevents me from making moves in life that will help me work towards goals.

yeh we are fucking our planet and it’s really depressing.
 
So you struggle with low self esteem?
I definitely do, it prevents me from making moves in life that will help me work towards goals.

yeh we are fucking our planet and it’s really depressing.

Low self esteem? Nope... We are talking about no self esteem at all. There are reasons for it.
 
That’s fucked, damn the whole bottle? Don’t people say to start with a tablespoon
yeah man... I tried to eat a whole bottle once, couldn't finish it, but must have been old stuff because really only felt ill and dysphoric for about 20 hours

it's not something people should get high on :/
 
yeah man... I tried to eat a whole bottle once, couldn't finish it, but must have been old stuff because really only felt ill and dysphoric for about 20 hours

it's not something people should get high on :/
For sure, injected atropine is where it’s at
 
For sure, injected atropine is where it’s at
But like with all I’ve drugs, the penis vein is the best for obvious reasons (totally makes your cock bigger)
And if you guys wanna dispute this well known fact, here’s my source
 
I drink for any occasion. I drink with food at home, I drink with food while out for a meal. I drink at home to relax, I drink out with friends to relax. I drink often, sometimes to excess. Sometimes I don't touch it for weeks/months.

Cold beer, cold beer.

 
I think it was more that amphetamines were turning me into a person I despised, but after I quit I still needed something to alter my state of mind and avoid my problems. Then discovering I could drink during the day and by myself was a game changer. Not a good game changer...

I think I’ve come to realise everything I do is avoidance. Whether it’s doing shit loads of drugs so my only goal
Is to quit using drugs or drinking so I don’t have to focus on achieving goals I want to achieve in life. Even my job I have now I realise i like because while it sucks being away from
Friends and family in a remote area. It means I can’t do anything about treading water in life and watching all my friends have children and excel at what they want to get from life.
God I felt this on an emotional level. Feels like for the past three years I've been getting intoxicated to block out problems, get over anxiety, ignore uncomfortable situations, quiet my mind, that kind of thing. Went through a long period of alcohol dependency and then, most recently, oxy abuse. Therapy has helped a lot, and I feel mentally healthier now than I did a few years ago, but habit-forming behavior always seems to get me during vulnerable periods and then lingers and fucks up my health for a long time until I gather the willpower to stop doing it :/
 
God I felt this on an emotional level. Feels like for the past three years I've been getting intoxicated to block out problems, get over anxiety, ignore uncomfortable situations, quiet my mind, that kind of thing. Went through a long period of alcohol dependency and then, most recently, oxy abuse. Therapy has helped a lot, and I feel mentally healthier now than I did a few years ago, but habit-forming behavior always seems to get me during vulnerable periods and then lingers and fucks up my health for a long time until I gather the willpower to stop doing it :/

Yeah. I feel the same. Dunno... seems like many people here on bluelight, have a goal. Something to aim for. Then they run towards that goal. Or they walk. They might stop completely. They might even fall down. Then they continue. Slowly, but surely.

I run the fuck away from everything. Real fast, real quick. Straight into the depths of hell. I know all the fastest and easiest shortcuts to get there.
 
I've had to stop drinking these past two years since due to being on other heavy meds. I miss it a lot.

I disagree, the high experienced when out on pub ale crawls with a little squad is fantastic. Steady, regular pints over a long period is the way to go. Necking shots and getting obliterated fast ain't for me.
 
I fucking love the stuff untill the next day, I just can't master moderation, and it's ruining me. The bad thing about alcohol is the withdrawals and/or fear for me.
 
I have to time a heavy session with work, but a lot of flexibility in the hours at the moment. Still, I am rather over doing it at the moment. Need to scale it back a little! It’s nice being able to drink inside a boozer though.
 
God I felt this on an emotional level. Feels like for the past three years I've been getting intoxicated to block out problems, get over anxiety, ignore uncomfortable situations, quiet my mind, that kind of thing. Went through a long period of alcohol dependency and then, most recently, oxy abuse. Therapy has helped a lot, and I feel mentally healthier now than I did a few years ago, but habit-forming behavior always seems to get me during vulnerable periods and then lingers and fucks up my health for a long time until I gather the willpower to stop doing it :/
Yeh man I’ve toned down the boozing a bit, but now using opiates/benzos more.

I just replace one habit with another.

Doing therapy/psychologist helped a bit, but i feel like I hit a wall and until I am ready to make the next step it’s kind of pointless at the moment. And I mean I know it’s her job to help and listen and she gets paid. I just feel bad going and complaining about the same shit everytime and not making any progress.

how are you going with the drinking now?
 
Do you think you would take substances for kicks if you were actually happy? Or do you look forward to an abstinent life?
I was thinking a bit more about this.

i don’t know if I do look forward to an abstinent life. I think i “want to” look forward to an abstinent lifestyle. It scares me, but I’m always scared before i stop using/drinking.

I think the older I get the more it scares me, because as I said sobriety forces me to confront and deal with my life.
 
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