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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | Eligiu | deficiT

Advice on my MDMA recovery

[This taught me to always test your product and that I am not invincible forever.]That is spot on Maya! I always thought I was invincible forever.

Could be with anything in life. Not even related to drugs something will happen then you gotta grow.
 
Dunno said:
[This taught me to always test your product and that I am not invincible forever.]That is spot on Maya! I always thought I was invincible forever.

Could be with anything in life. Not even related to drugs something will happen then you gotta grow.
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yeah, 2012 was a very tough year for sure, I still am thankful that i survived that experience and taught me well for sure.
 
I did have an obsession for books, mental health related books, which I read a pile during my situation. But it was about the only thing I was able to do and just trying to make time pass by. I could not use a computer at all, which was very strange because I normally did use it a lot. If I could have done it, i would propably have had some kind of googling obsession too.

Just about the internet obsession, it may be just a way to cope with it because its very difficult situation, so its not necessarily a bad thing. Looking for support and information is completely normal and at least for me the books were very helpful because they helped me to process what was happening to me and what I was experiencing. It made things a lot more tolerable thinking backwards.
 
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The information is not bad but diagnosing yourself is which I did a lot when I experienced it. I think it is just a matter of not applying everything to yourself and staying positive regardless of how the symptoms are and the situation is. What definitely helped me to was staying off bl for a few months so I don't come across some threads that will make me doubt my recovery and it did help me.
 
Thank you for your replies.. Lately I've been accepting my obsession of the internet (especially bluelight), and some how that has lead me to be able to do other things on my own without getting really anxiuos (like doing some homework or watching a film)..
I guess its all about not fighting your symptoms too much!

Anyways, I'm really struggling in the morning with intense anxiety! And it last for about 2-3 hours.. I know this is quite normal for people with depression or anxiety disorders, but I'm wondering if anyone have some ideas on how to cope with it better?

Thanks
 
Hi Delfin,

Great to hear you are doing OK.

You're right many people that suffer from depression and anxiety find the morning most difficult, I know that feeling of impending doom and it's really not very nice at all.

Do you have a morning routine ? do you have to get up for work / school ?. I learnt some simple things from a CBT counselor that have worked well for me since.

Set out some simple goals for each day, I did this like a weekly timetable for a while, just simply getting up and walking my dog in the morning helped far more than I would have ever thought. You don't need a dog !, but i would highly recommend getting out for a walk at least once a day, make sure you don't spend the whole time staring at your feet, look up and around at the world, it's a truly indescribable wonder.

Over time I layered on other things, simple things but things that deep down I felt bad about, doing more things around the house, social stuff and other things I was constantly avoiding.

My circumstances changed drastically a couple of years ago when I sustained an injury that means I can't walk very far and struggle little with pain but I still follow the principles. There isnt a one size fits all approach as your circumstances are going to be different to mine but pushing on and being more proactive about things will help you get back on track.
 
Allein said:
Hi Delfin,

Great to hear you are doing OK.

You're right many people that suffer from depression and anxiety find the morning most difficult, I know that feeling of impending doom and it's really not very nice at all.

Do you have a morning routine ? do you have to get up for work / school ?. I learnt some simple things from a CBT counselor that have worked well for me since.

Set out some simple goals for each day, I did this like a weekly timetable for a while, just simply getting up and walking my dog in the morning helped far more than I would have ever thought. You don't need a dog !, but i would highly recommend getting out for a walk at least once a day, make sure you don't spend the whole time staring at your feet, look up and around at the world, it's a truly indescribable wonder.

Over time I layered on other things, simple things but things that deep down I felt bad about, doing more things around the house, social stuff and other things I was constantly avoiding.

My circumstances changed drastically a couple of years ago when I sustained an injury that means I can't walk very far and struggle little with pain but I still follow the principles. There isnt a one size fits all approach as your circumstances are going to be different to mine but pushing on and being more proactive about things will help you get back on track.
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Unfortunatley I'm currently writing a thesis, which means I'm not forced to get out of the house - but I'm doing it anyways, going for a run or meeting up with a friend or something. I just can't seem to do these things before at least a couple of hours. I am pretty functioning throughout the day, and most of the anxiety is actually based on the fact that I know that I will wake up next morning feeling like shit. I guess you could say that I'm just anxious about being anxious, and I'm positive that the day I'll wake up feeling good, is the day where my daily symptoms disappears as well and I would have recovered (more or less).

But thank you for the advice, I'll try to establish some new routines in the mornings. It's at least worth a try :)
 
Wow a thesis, I wasnt good at education, you must be sustaining some motivation to be doing that I left school at 16 and blew any further oppertunites to do any more study.

If you manging well during the day and seeing friends etc your on the right track, IME these things take a long time to sort themselves out ansd tend to change little by little, at some stage you'll look back and not know when that change happened.

It doesnt have to be leaving the house of that's not practical, as i said I can't get about too well ATM, I spent 3 months house bound from injury. Simple things, life is hard give yourself some credit for getting through each day.:)
 
Allein said:
If you manging well during the day and seeing friends etc your on the right track, IME these things take a long time to sort themselves out ansd tend to change little by little, at some stage you'll look back and not know when that change happened.
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This is exactly how I imagine you realize that you recovered - by not realizing it :p if that makes sense.
And even though I'm still living hell to some degree, when I look back at the first two months, I know I've recovered a lot.

It sounds awful with your injury. If I was completely housebound right now, I wouldn't know what to do.
 
Delfin said:
This is exactly how I imagine you realize that you recovered - by not realizing it :p if that makes sense.
And even though I'm still living hell to some degree, when I look back at the first two months, I know I've recovered a lot.

It sounds awful with your injury. If I was completely housebound right now, I wouldn't know what to do.
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I still have some weird symptom but I just ignore it and then keep myself busy. I mean there's not much we can do right but to accept the consequence and live with it. I think what really helps is not to get obsessed with the symptoms and just let it be.. Sometimes I still have thoughts about the possibility that some type of damaged has been done but when I think of it, nothing has really been damaged, I can eat, I can exercise, I can walk, read go out and work. It is just a matter of toughening it out and dealing with the anxiety and not getting to worked up about it.
 
So the last 3 days I've been doing so much better - I'm still anxious all the time, but is not as severe as before, and I can pretty much do anything I want.
That fact may just have made me overly brave.. Last night I went out with me friends (as I do every weekend), but this time I drank some beers (4 pints). No problem during the night, got a bit drunk and had a good time. The next day (today) I feel as I'm thrown 3 weeks back in my recovery. I was doing so good, and then I stopped thinking. I'm definitely not going to drink anymore before I'm off the meds and I have recovered from this comedown. I hope I'll be back on the track soon again. If anyone have any experience similar to mine I would like to hear from you.
 
Thank you for the reply Maya.. I'm gonna stay off alcohol :) But out of curiosity - when you got better, was it unproblematic to drink alcohol again?
 
Nope not anymore but try not to get too rowdy :D
 
Maya: how long did it take you before the hangover went away.. I'm on my 2nd day and I really feel shit :(
 
You meant after drinking the night before? The hang over was there for 3 days but the anxiety didn't wean down until after a week. Just rest as much as you can, drink lots of water etc you should be fine.
 
That's what i meant. I litterarely feel like i'm back in the first couple of weeks of my comedown. I'm so anxious that I can't make sense out of my life anymore. And just 3 days ago I was doing so good - was on a date with a nice girl and felt zero anxiety and was doing good in school too. hopefully I'll be at that stage again in a couple of days :D
 
^yeah, I feel you, I was the same way and thought I'd never recover. I had so much anxiety that I can't focus on other things and working was tough due to the symptoms but ice recovered. It takes time but you will recover, we are all different but if you continue keeping your self healthy nothing is impossible.
 
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