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Addicted to the needle

T

Treedave

Greenlighter
Joined
Feb 19, 2013
Messages
6
Ill post more bout this later but it seems im more addicted to the prepping and the whole ritual of shooting more then the dope itself. Is there a thread. Somewhere that talks about this someplace. Ill get more into it later but right now I gotta go get my ritual started.
 
i used to be just like that man i would put anything in my vain that was water soluable. but i've been needle free for over 6 months just dont keep needles around you and you wont feel the urge to stick yourself. just my opinion.



EDIT: sorry mod didnt know
 
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This is sometimes called a needle fetish. It's pretty common amongst users, but not talked about much by the non-using community. It seems to come in a varienty of forms. Some people are all about the ritual. Others are about the act of injecting itself. For yet others (myself included), its registering a hit. It gets me higher than the drug! I am currently really struggling to leave the needle alone. I've shot salt, I shit you not. In my opinion (and limited experience), some drug users with a lust for steel pose a much greater risk to themselves than your typical injector, just because they're kind of aiming for two highs, to satisfy two cravings.

I am not sure on the rules regarding linking to other forums, so I shan't (Mods, can you confirm? :) ), but if you Google 'needle fetish' and the names of the main web drugs forums, you will quickly see that you are not alone (if you don't add the names of forums though, you're likely to end up with search results for sexual needle play, so heads up).
 
I still have a needle fetish even though i havent shot up in a long time. I dont use needles anymore for anything, but i look forward to getting my blood drawn, & i always watch it done. I still think about shooting up sometimes. I think for me its almost kind of a sexual thing sometimes-not that i get turned on by it, but it's such a perfect metaphor for sexual penetration.

You're definitely not alone. Even typing this makes me want to put a needle in my vein & pull back & see it register.
 
BlueSaffron said:
I think for me its almost kind of a sexual thing sometimes-not that i get turned on by it, but it's such a perfect metaphor for sexual penetration.
Click to expand...

*nods in agreement*

I don't really have much of a sexual relationship to the needle, other than the broader overarching relationships between sexuality and drugs and sexuality and physical discomfort. But there is something undeniably (and quite literally) penetrative about injecting, something that very few other acts share, besides sex and possibly tattooing/piercing (which people also sometimes get a bit of a fetish for). I bet there are all kinds of subtle psychological/associative implications resulting from the apparent similarity between injecting and penetrative sex. I also wonder about the similarities in the conditioning of reward systems and related processes in the brain, regarding the way one develops a drive to inject, all substances aside, that is not entirely unlike the cravings we develop for sex or drugs themselves.
 
I believe that we must have at least half a dozen threads on this subject already, but I'm too lazy to begin searching for them, so, I'll let this one stay open.

It's funny because although I am an intravenous drug user, I haven't yet developed that same love for the needle; in fact, I would prefer to sniff my drugs than shoot them, but alas, it is true that once you shoot dope, it's nearly impossible to go back to sniffing it. (shrugs) So, we've been banging our dope ever since...
 
I'm yet to mess with iv drugs.
My girlfriend has a big time thing for needles, she been an iv user for awhile.
Started wanting me do her shots for her. She loves it now its just routine and I could see where the problem might form.
I've seen her run water before when fiending bad. Nothing pretty.

All of the kids I know growing up really got hit by the oxy epidemic.
They started out iving oc 15s. No need with there non existant tolerances. Now there all dealers junkies in rehab or jail robbin people rippin people off. Know like 4 people hep c + out of one house from sharing needles. Also know a couple of kids from a different group spread hep around at a dope house sharing needles.
Saw a kid prep up some opanas for iv with car fluid not sure what it was but can't imagine its good for you.
Work with a girl who shoots er pills all the time despite me informing her of the damage and proper harm reduction. Her bro cooks them in the oven and shit. Lol

Using a needle to administer addicting drugs makes people do crazy shit.
 
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There have been multiple threads over the years discussing this. Just do a search.

It's a really common thing for IV users. It's one of the most difficult things about getting clean.
 
Theres something disturbingly romantic and intimate about couple shooting each other up. My ex and I rarely had sex except when on meth, so shooting heroin was a form of intimacy for us.

One of my girlfriends told me her boyfriend got turned on when she shot him up. A few months later i was alone with her boyfriend while she was outside in the car and I needed him to help me inject in my neck, and he was so skittish about his girlfriend coming in and seeing him shooting me up, like it was cheating or something, since that was their own little special bonding thing too. He didnt give the slightest care about helping me shoot, just didnt want his gf to see it and think of it as betrayal. That seemed even more weird to me.

Putting the needle down was the hardest thing about getting on methadone. Registering for me is a high in itself. I often pull back multiple times to watch the blood rush into the barrel, and thank my higher power for giving me the ability to register. My veins are so tatterred and collapsed from a prior iv coke addiction that registering takes me quite awhile.

I had to throw all my old needles out of my house when I got on the 'done. The hardest part was waking up and not immediately start poking myself with a needle, because that was always the first thing I did once I opened my eyes for years. I wasnt looking for the high or rush of dope, because the done had me feeling pretty good. Just wanted that poke.
 
I was addicted to the needle as much as the drug itself; it almost became a type of asexual fetish for me. The whole ritual of preparing my shots played a large part, but mostly it was the instant gratification that only IV would provide: if I was sick, I knew I could get well within 30 seconds, and the rush was incomparable. It got so bad, that when my veins began drying up, I'd have anxiety dreams of missing veins, failing to shoot. So yeah, it was a fixation, fuelled by desperation, especially when I began running out of veins - the idea of smoking or snorting we're just a no-go for me.
 
After I stopped shooting dope I continued to shoot water for a few months. The ritual is very relaxing and there are times when I still think about it. The main thing is to just stop. Every time you think about it go do something else, be active. It sounds silly, but just try to do something else.
 
I'm less addicted to the needle as i am the high tbh, I prefer the rituals of smoking and snorting to the whole IV ritual
 
I never continued IV'ing just for the feel of it after stopping dope. Part of the whole needle addiction for me was the expected high afterward... and if I don't get that, I'm just super disappointed and probably would have sought out a real shot then, as opposed to shooting water or something.
 
Yeah i love that needle! Ive actually started IVing my subs every now and then. Ill even shoot some water if i dont have anything. Its wierd but so good. Watching it slide in, having the blood rush up mixing with the drug and then BAM!
 
Thats the bit that got me: watching the little trickle of blood and knowing youve made a perfect shot. Havent iv'd for years now but sometimes i still get cravings for that shit.
 
I've IV'd OxyContin (80s) a few times, Heroin a bunch of times, and Heroin + Cocaine once. While I love the high I never got into the needle. By the end of the binge I always started to feel like a pincushion and seeing blood drops all over my bathroom was a real slap to the face every time the bag ran out.

My preferred ROA is oral consumption, no question. I get a placebo effect just knowing the drug is in my body. I love the warmth of an opiate, the easing of tension from a benzo, or the come-up and euphoria of Adderall/Dexedrine or parachuted crystal meth as it gradually spreads throughout my body, the high building up over the course of a half hour.
 
Redflags that made me think/or know I was addicted to the needle:

Impressed myself I could hit so well, and others.
Considered Phlebotomy (like every other IV user haha)
Started trying to shoot up all kinds of shit, with fillers too, like adderall, welbutrin, CWE percocet, which just doesnt work with a 50cc pin
When I was really feigning I have withdrawn blood into empty pin
The pleasure you feel when you see the blood pull
New little cases and whatnot for my gear made me smile inside if things were all organized for my pal the needle and the snapped inhalf spoon to fit in neater cases
Uhhh right now knowing I don't have any pins and thinking the opportunity could come up... which it wont.
Experimenting in general with it, the pin itself having such power.....
 
I'm addicted to the needle, but not in the sense that I'd shoot some water just because... fuck that!
That's actually.. a little too far.. I couldn't imagine shooting water, just because I can.. lmfao. wow.
 
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