Here go Chinky again. Yo you got to understand cuz, everybody don't do dope like you. You keep shit like "go back to usin on weekends" like that's some easy shit to do after bein strung out. I don't know how many times I was like "Ima use dope tuesday and wednesday then take subs till next monday" with a bunch of subs at the crib but when Thursday comes around and the dopes around and the sub feelin ain't lookin so good, Thursday turns into Friday, Friday turns into 3 weeks later.
I for real believe RM wants to quit, he just strugglin along a lil at the begining like almost fuckin everybody do and of course he still thinkin about gettin high. He was a dope head yo you don't go to sleep on Monday a dope fiend and wake up Tuesday ready to never be high again that just ain't how it works. Man I aint touched dope in a few weeks and fuckin rubber bands are a trigger to me, a certain parkway in the city be makin me think like damn i could jump off here and holla at my boy and be back on 10 min, every thing reminds me of how much better that same shit was when I was high as fuck.
And anyways yo I don't know why you talkin like you sober or somethin, you said you used subs a few days was clean a month, then started doin d again. All kinds of fiends done went to 30, 60, 90 day rehabs, and came right out exactly the same a few months ain't shit with this shit. This is heroin yo, I mean I don't got no statistics or nothin but I know it got to the hardest or one of the harest drugs to quit permanently.
I don't want to feel like I just be gettin drunk and comin on here and bitchin about Chinky hatin on subs or whatever, just like I said yo you be assumin to much about people. Maybe I'm takin shit to literal like you said before, just sayin shit like to a mufucker tryin to get clean like "you obviously don't want to get clean" even tho its the internet that shit can be detrimental to a mufuckers mind state when that shits in a fragile ass spot anyways.
define strung out...to me strung out is using a gram a day not a gram a week, like RM was..he just had/has a habit like i do..i have never once used for 7 straight days, i wouldnt want to..you said you wanted to go back to using mon,weds,friday and have said it a million times...then why dont you just do it? like yesterday i was sitting around doing nothing on a sunday and was thinking about how pissed i was using on saturday when i planned to get a few beers and watch the fights so i sat around for a couyple hours thinkin about if i should go cop and use for 2 days in a row or wait...i even went as far and called my dude but he didnt answer..when he didnt answer i was like ok thats the sign i needed and made up my mind i wasnt gonna go..of course h instantly caled back and i didnt answer then and then he called back again and i told him i called the wrong number and that ill call tomorrow..and thats what i did today..its all in your head man
but like you said i guess i am differnt and i dont realize it...you guys dont have the same mentality when it comes to using drugs that i have, we just have differnt brains and people control it differnt from one another and i dont realize it i guess...most users dont set rules that they try and live by, ive been doin this shit for years and its just how i do it cause i know the consequences when you dont have anyrules and its prolly why ibve been ableto maintain for so long...i couldnt imagine waking up and doing a line of dope, i just cant, and since i dont do that i bet my Wds arent as bad in the morning as yours are and thats why i can wait til 6pm
i dunno man i guess we are just differnt types of fiends..like i was always smart about it and cared and not lazy and didnt not give a fuck..yea i quit for that month but it was because i wasnt gonna be around it, i was goin to stay with my uncle and yeah i wanted to stop but really i didnt, i knew as soon as i went back to chicago with some cash i was usin again..them people who go to them 30.60day rehabs. unless they signed themself up with no push or begging of family or court ordered, i dont seen them stopping..you cant stop cause someone else wants you too, so thats why they use again..your not gonna truly stop unless you 100% want to, no ifs, ands, buts, about it nothing...they say you shouldnt be around it to be tempted but i dont fully believe that. i mean sure when people are doin dope around you your gonna get that itch, but if you want to be done with it then you suck it up and put in work..imagine how good it will feel knowing you turned it down if someone puts it in your face
persoanlly i dont think ill ever stop fully, not without somesort of motivation like a kid..so when i see people who want to stop i root hard for them too and get disappointed when they fail..i think the best way to go about it is to use every now and then..i use dope 3x a week and sometimes 4, which i think is alot but i guess not..now ever since highschool ive been doing opiates on average once a week, so its like ive been doin this for so long that its just like what i do..it wasnt until i lost my job like 2years ago that i started using dope more then twice a week, i think i use becuase im bored withnithing else to do..hell it could because im depressed i dont know but im startingto look for a fulltime job again and i think when i find it that i will slow down my use again..i have never once in my life used for 7straight days, so when the times comes for me to quit i think quitting will me using once a week or once every 2 weeks..it will never be 100% done for, i dont think
Congrats with your two weeks Bricks, to chinky that might not be much
but i know thats a major accomplishment
I got somethin like two weeks also..shit man idk about you but i really couldnt enjoy much when all i could think of is how to get more dope..
dont make it sound like im not rooting for you guys cause thats why i keep bringing it up and questioning your motives..i mean howmany pms did we send back and forth talkin about subs and you knew how to handle them...no one knows that we have talked privatly before you even started takin the subs, bricks sees my post and thinks that what i post here is the only thing i say on the subject..you know im on your team...im a full supporter if you want to quit..but all im sayin is if want to quit then do it, if you want to quit dope, dont start using OCs instead..or if your tryin to use subs to quit and they work wonders and help, dont start smoking them when you realize you can get high off them that way...
im just trying to get you to think fam, cause thats what people dont do, thats why people do dope... so they dont have to think, they just do