I’m still stuck in the same rut. Miserable at work and taking a concoction of Valium, oxazepam, tramadol and palexia. And using smack non stop in Perth.
fuck man. it really gets a hold of you.
well any drug can, but even years after my addiction and seeing the damage it caused, heroin has a special place in my heart.
Oh man… super sorry to hear that. Do you think you need professional help? Are you getting it already? I can’t remember sorry. I’m routing for you though, you can beat the yoyo-ing of addictions/destructive behaviours. It’s great you’re still being active. I surfed when I was back home for the first time in a year and it just felt sooo good and peaceful.
i'm so glad you surfed!! getting outside and into nature is amazing. even when i'm tired and dragging myself it improves my mental health, i'm sure its the same for you.
i think i need professional help. i'm trying to work out how to get it right now. going to contact my therapist and a charity that helped me previously for very specific issues. they won't get it until monday morning but i'm finding even writing about how i'm feeling theraputic.
I can tell you my latest tales of woe to cheer you up if you wish…
Still trying all Avenues. One place reckons they want to stabilise me on Valium before admitting me. I told them I respect you opinion, but I’m not physically dependent on them. I want to go stay on my cousins farm to detox of benzos then when they piss test me I can prob I’m not dependent on them. They reckon they don’t like detoxing off benzos. And they want me on suboxone which I don’t want to do. I want off everything.
why don't you want suboxone? is it the daily pickups etc? is there any way you can arrange it so it could fit with your job? cos to me it seems stabilising on an opiate first might soften the landing.
Rehabs/detoxes are a joke here if you IV you get turned back, if you are on benzos it’s creates issues. So over have watched the last 20 years go by and have nothing (not necessarily monetary or material things) to show for it other than lost trust from friends and family.
that's ridiculous.IV use and benzos are a hallmark of a destructive addiction.
i know how you feel about having nothing to show. though that's a slight lie for me cos i managed to complete my education while addicted to benzos. but when i got to rehab i had nothing but huge debts, everyone close to me i'd exploited the fuck out of and they knew, i'd lost my humanity and was like a caged, abused animal,
Spoke to another place which has a 3/4 week wait which is doable. And they accept any junky. My mates been there a couple of times and reckons a fair bit of using goes on in there. So I would prefer to do the detox at the government run place where they take your phone for the duration and don’t allow visitors. If I do that they will help me into a 3 month place.
def sounds like the government place would be better. you need a longer rehab, and one that doesn't allow using.
If I can get a couple months clean I’m thinking of the naltrexone Implant. Anyone had any experience? Over hear me mixed reviews. Some say it was a god send, others looped out hard and ended up getting it cut out.
there are people who've had implants. i don't have experience but have a friend who did and he had no therapy to complement it, so cross addicted onto stimulants then went back to heroin when it wore off so ended up with a double addiction. if you are doing the psychological work while you have the implant, i think its a good idea, and could be a better solution than suboxone. but you have to put the work in.