Recovery The Recovery Thread (2022)

[64tf]

I've always been a heavy drinker, and two pack a day smoker and I'm 45. In the Fall of 2019, after my mom went into a comma, my drinking and other reckless behavior peaked. I would drink everyday, and often times all day. I also got pretty comfortable doing whatever drugs might be passing through the bar. I got an OVI. Then a few days later I had a stroke. I lost motor function on my left side, and had "left side neglect" Which basically means your brain just ignores shit one the left. It's so weird. They would show me pictures and ask me what I saw, and I just could not see stuff on the left until they pointed to it. I was in the Hospital for a few weeks. I then went into in patient rehab for a few weeks more. I couldn't do basic math. etc.

I got real lucky. I managed to recover most of my physical and mental abilities. The whole ordeal really shook me up, and I quite smoking cigarettes, and drinking. I still smoke dope, but that's like taking vitamins. My wife, who should have left me long ago, stuck with me the whole time. We had a son in September of 2020. Sober life has been real good to me. I've got a great job now that's really laid back, and pays well. My kids are doing great.

Like a lot of you, I still have plenty to work on. I'm at least 50 pounds over weight now. My A1C is high, and I've got to start getting some exercise. Mom passed away in 2021. I wish should could have met her grandson. He looks just like me.

As I read the recovery experiences on here it feels like I took a short cut to sobriety. I have no memory of my withdrawal. They kept me knocked out a lot at the hospital. I definitely fought off some urges, but the forced 2 months sober was a great jump start. For obvious reasons I wouldn't recommend the "have a stroke" path to recovery.

Way back in the day I moderated SLR. AxlBlaze was my roommate for a short period of time before we lost him.

 

[Jabberwocky]

to H&R regulars. i have stepped down from H&R and cannot see myself being active in this forum from now on.

i just can't do it any more. i'm not a good example of recovery. i'm a fraud.

i've put so much effort into here and i genuinely love the people i've interacted with. i hope you are all doing well and wish you the best. you can always PM me if you need anything.

the weeks leading up to my sudden absence and since have been some of the scariest times in my life. i disappeared because of severe relapse into cPTSD and problems between staff exacerbating that. i've caused a lot of ill will and harbour my own. in this state i can't give the emotional energy needed to provide effective support in H&R. i've always taken this role not as just ensuring rules are enforced, but in trying to give love and understanding to every single person who posts here. as such, i spread myself too thin and it became unsustainable.

i'm just sorry a situation with staff has left me feeling unable to continue offering support to people in here. that is a failure on my part and i hope you can forgive me.

 

[stardust10]

@chinup someone's gonna have big boots to fill... Thank u for all the support and effort

 

[Pissed_and_messed]

It is unhealthy only if you don't need it. Michael Phelps did at least one absolutely fucking enormous pizza every day while exercising. Salt, carbohydrates and ton of cheese is what you NEED when you exercise like crazy.

But yeah I guess I get what you mean. If it is raffinated wheat hamburgers and milk chocolate it is better than not eating them at all if you need those kilocalories but whole grain and dark chocolate is just same and more things with less side effects.

Take your time.

 

[Dreamflyer]

to H&R regulars. i have stepped down from H&R and cannot see myself being active in this forum from now on.

i just can't do it any more. i'm not a good example of recovery. i'm a fraud.

Do whatever you need to do and take care of yourself. And you're not a fraud; you're human like the rest of us. We'll miss ya.

 

[Lil'LinaptkSix]

Sober life has been real good to me

Seems this sober life was giving me more grief than non sober.
Until recently. Got some gov help to keep my rent paid until I get on my feet. I have plenty of paid in to get some help but to navigate the red tape was the hardest part as they do not advertise/broacast this aid for those who are eligible and in need.
Being sober takes a toll on my mental state where I can "see" too much and it kinda cripples me with anxiety, anger at injustice and general giving up on hope that shit will work out.
Patience seems to be a key factor in transitioning from being hard bent to straight edge (almost) while going through the changes in mental states.
Patience, support from friends (all i have are on BL cept for SO and a coupa vets), pesistence and hope are a recipe for a healthy-ish menatl state, possible life changing occurrence(s) and working past internal warfare.
Not sure what I am.trying to convey here but am in a better place since contributing to BL than I was previouly... which was a path of IDGAF and destruction of self and environs.
Hope is a hell of a thing but staying alive to see what comes next is also a beautiful experience.
And yeah; got plenty more to work on but damn if it doesnt seem like the mountain had turned into a molehill overnight.
All my thanks and love.