When will I feel normal

[yubacity]

Hello my dear friend Yuba,

I'm doing well, some days are better than others, I'm often bored,but I have also done a lot of things that I never would have while on my medication. I isolated a lot and put a lot of things off. Relationships, housework you name it...

Each day continues to get better. I like feeling real emotion now, do you find your feelings and emotions are more intense now? I totally relate to that numb feeling you mention.

I like that you realize that it's up to you whether to use or not...You are one tough guy Yuba and I know you will continue on this great path you've made for yourself!!!

Always very proud of you, here for you always.,
your friend,
Ash.

How's it going ash hope your well and keeping strong.You are right about the emotions they more intense now.I have also noticed how the colours are more vivid everything seems brighter it's weird.I won't say everything is good I still get cravings and boredom is another problem but maybe life is boring.Well it's Friday today and while most people are happy it's the end of the work week.Im never happy now when it's Friday because life at home without using is boring.Keep strong mate and enjoy your sobriety the positives of being clean are much more then the negatives

 

[EPL1]

Hi my friend,
I know it's boring, for me too. But just keep doing what you're doing. Stay strong, each day you get stronger. Think back to where you were in the beginning, you never want to go through all that again, you have come too far for that!!! You're doing this Yuba!!!

I hope you have a great weekend my friend!!! Here for you anytime,
Ash.

How's it going ash hope your well and keeping strong.You are right about the emotions they more intense now.I have also noticed how the colours are more vivid everything seems brighter it's weird.I won't say everything is good I still get cravings and boredom is another problem but maybe life is boring.Well it's Friday today and while most people are happy it's the end of the work week.Im never happy now when it's Friday because life at home without using is boring.Keep strong mate and enjoy your sobriety the positives of being clean are much more then the negatives

 

[yubacity]

Hi my friend,
I know it's boring, for me too. But just keep doing what you're doing. Stay strong, each day you get stronger. Think back to where you were in the beginning, you never want to go through all that again, you have come too far for that!!! You're doing this Yuba!!!

I hope you have a great weekend my friend!!! Here for you anytime,
Ash.

How did your weekend go ash hopefully you kept busy.I had the most boring weekend ever it was spent painting house getting it ready to sell or rent out not sure yet.Talked it over with wife they be leaving for the states next month so kids can start new school year while I tie up loose ends here.Im getting exited about move first thing I will do is munch a Carl's Jr will be back to driving a semi when I get back so will have to do the test again.Used to drive a semi from the age of 18 but was not allowed to go out of state because of age.Im nervous and excited at the same time.Keep well my friend and keep at it mate

 

[EPL1]

Hello my dear friend!

My weekend was good, boring but good, you know how that is though!! ; ) I am so proud of you, what an accomplishment, your family I'm sure is also very happy too!

You will be good with the drive Yuba, some time to yourself and all, out on the open road, I think that's exciting!! And the truck, yeah, once you can drive stick you can always drive it. You will be good, you already are good. You keep well too, keep being you Yuba, you really are THE BEST.

Much love and strength to you my dear friend,
here for you always,
Ash.

How did your weekend go ash hopefully you kept busy.I had the most boring weekend ever it was spent painting house getting it ready to sell or rent out not sure yet.Talked it over with wife they be leaving for the states next month so kids can start new school year while I tie up loose ends here.Im getting exited about move first thing I will do is munch a Carl's Jr will be back to driving a semi when I get back so will have to do the test again.Used to drive a semi from the age of 18 but was not allowed to go out of state because of age.Im nervous and excited at the same time.Keep well my friend and keep at it mate

 

[Sixxam]

Yuba, what an interesting fella you are. I have enjoyed reading your thread. I'm going to keep checking in on you. You're doing great!

 

[yubacity]

Yuba, what an interesting fella you are. I have enjoyed reading your thread. I'm going to keep checking in on you. You're doing great!

Thanks mate it's been hard but I can see the light at the end of the tunnel now.

 

[yubacity]

Started going to gym so st the moment am aching all over.Yesterday was a bad day for cravings.I went to buy some weed and my mate who I get it ofwas smoking some brown.I am proud that I stayed strong and resisted the urge to use but the cravings were strong.The worst thing is in my mind I know that I have not used for a while I know that it would be a great high if I used again.Work is pissed of with me because I told them I be leaving think I might fuck it off and just leave.Be back in the states in a few months my wife exited to be near her family again I'm excited about eating my favourite food again.Only problem is the majority of my friends in the states use one drug or another don't count weed in that because weed is not a drug

 

[EPL1]

Yay so proud of you,

You resisted the urge, and look at you getting all fit and shit, going to the gym!! ; )

I think you're seriously amazing!! Who cares if work is pissed, you're on a new better journey my friend!

Maybe when you get back to the states you can join a gym there and meet a new group of friends, ones that won't test your resolve to stay clean. Do you have any interests you love that you could connect to other guys through?

I have so much confidence in you Yuba, you're gong to be fine!! So proud of you, keep it up my dear friend!!

Here for you always! Pm me if you ever need to,
Ash.

Started going to gym so st the moment am aching all over.Yesterday was a bad day for cravings.I went to buy some weed and my mate who I get it ofwas smoking some brown.I am proud that I stayed strong and resisted the urge to use but the cravings were strong.The worst thing is in my mind I know that I have not used for a while I know that it would be a great high if I used again.Work is pissed of with me because I told them I be leaving think I might fuck it off and just leave.Be back in the states in a few months my wife exited to be near her family again I'm excited about eating my favourite food again.Only problem is the majority of my friends in the states use one drug or another don't count weed in that because weed is not a drug

 

[yubacity]

Yay so proud of you,

You resisted the urge, and look at you getting all fit and shit, going to the gym!! ; )

I think you're seriously amazing!! Who cares if work is pissed, you're on a new better journey my friend!

Maybe when you get back to the states you can join a gym there and meet a new group of friends, ones that won't test your resolve to stay clean. Do you have any interests you love that you could connect to other guys through?

I have so much confidence in you Yuba, you're gong to be fine!! So proud of you, keep it up my dear friend!!

Here for you always! Pm me if you ever need to,
Ash.

Thanks for your kind words mate.You may not realise it but your the reason I not use again.I was all ready to get back on it because I was sick of the cravings and feeling shitty watching you be strong helped me stay clean.The thing about new set of friends my old pals I love and I find myself making friends with people who use.I had a 3 year period of using crank everyday even sniffed lines in us history class.Those 3 years ruined my life got kicked out of high school went to a continuation school got kicked out there had to do a ged.Good thing is after years of doing opium I hate stimulants now so won't get back on the meth.My problem is I love drugs sounds stupid but I hardly drink prefer a drug buzz.Something in us made us addicts we can not use anything recreationly like normal people we have a lifelong struggle.How are you doing ash are you getting back to the elusive normalcy.

 

[EPL1]

You may not realise it but your the reason I not use again.I was all ready to get back on it because I was sick of the cravings and feeling shitty watching you be strong helped me stay clean.

Hey my dear friend, I do realize that, and that makes me very happy, and when I say you can pm me anytime for any reason I really mean that. But you've gone through a lot, you are way tougher than you even know. Don't EVER go back to square 1!!!!! Okay, you've got this!! ; )

Your friend,
here for you always,
Ash.

 

[EPL1]

The thing about me is I am a pain management patient, always took my medication as prescribed, never had an addiction to it, having said all that I quit on my own because of the so called opiate crisis here, they make us jump through crazy hoops for our medication. So I had enough and stopped CT. Even without any addiction, physical dependence is NO JOKE!!! Hey if I can do it anyone can!!!

Hugs my dear friend!
Ash.

And no, I am so not back to normal, I have NO IDEA what that is now. I'm bored and on edge and feeling a lot of new emotions. You too?

 

[yubacity]

The thing about me is I am a pain management patient, always took my medication as prescribed, never had an addiction to it, having said all that I quit on my own because of the so called opiate crisis here, they make us jump through crazy hoops for our medication. So I had enough and stopped CT. Even without any addiction, physical dependence is NO JOKE!!! Hey if I can do it anyone can!!!

Hugs my dear friend!
Ash.

And no, I am so not back to normal, I have NO IDEA what that is now. I'm bored and on edge and feeling a lot of new emotions. You too?

The boredom is fucking hard to handle.My main new is I'm so fucking horny.When I used I would have sex with wife out of duty if it was my choice I would not have sex.I will say this opium made me a superman in bed a hour was easy.Yesterday i was looking at my wife and just noticed how beautiful she was have not looked at her like that while I used.My dad did not talk to me for 3 years because I married a white girl and not a Punjabi one.It was worth the hassle because she a great lady stayed with me while I used also stayed after I cheated on her.

 

[EPL1]

You love who you love right? Sounds like you have a lovely and supportive wife, that's really good to have especially when you're going through something like this!!!!

Ash.

The boredom is fucking hard to handle.My main new is I'm so fucking horny.When I used I would have sex with wife out of duty if it was my choice I would not have sex.I will say this opium made me a superman in bed a hour was easy.Yesterday i was looking at my wife and just noticed how beautiful she was have not looked at her like that while I used.My dad did not talk to me for 3 years because I married a white girl and not a Punjabi one.It was worth the hassle because she a great lady stayed with me while I used also stayed after I cheated on her.

 

[EPL1]

Pm'd you something funny Yuba!! lol

 

[EPL1]

Just wanted to say I'm thinking of you Yuba and want you to know how proud I am of you for maintaining your most awesome quit!! You Rock!!!

Happy Happy Friday my dear friend, I hope you have a wonderful weekend, you really are the best and I will always be in your corner cheering you on!!

Here for you always,
your friend,
Ashley.

 

[yubacity]

Just wanted to say I'm thinking of you Yuba and want you to know how proud I am of you for maintaining your most awesome quit!! You Rock!!!

Happy Happy Friday my dear friend, I hope you have a wonderful weekend, you really are the best and I will always be in your corner cheering you on!!

Here for you always,
your friend,
Ashley.

Thanks ash you have a great weekend.My life for next few months is going to be one long weekend.Phoned my work today to tell them I quit.Will use this time to concentrate on me being clean.Will be going to gym get back to getting 8 hours natural sleep just get to normalcy also to smoke weed watch loads of Netflix.

 

[EPL1]

Good for you!!! That all sounds really great Yuba, keep doing you, protect this most precious quit. I am really so proud of you!!Have a wonderful weekend, and just remember you're doing this!!! Be kind and patient with yourself.

You're the best!!!

Here for you always,
your friend,
Ash.

Thanks ash you have a great weekend.My life for next few months is going to be one long weekend.Phoned my work today to tell them I quit.Will use this time to concentrate on me being clean.Will be going to gym get back to getting 8 hours natural sleep just get to normalcy also to smoke weed watch loads of Netflix.

 

[EPL1]

Hello my dear friend Yuba!!

Just wanted you to know how proud I am of you!! Thinking of you and all your awesomeness!! I hope you are enjoying the hell out of your time off!!! Here for you always,

your friend,
Ash.

 

[yubacity]

Hello my dear friend Yuba!!

Just wanted you to know how proud I am of you!! Thinking of you and all your awesomeness!! I hope you are enjoying the hell out of your time off!!! Here for you always,

your friend,
Ash.

How you doing ash hope you had a good weekend.I spent Saturday taking kids out and Sunday watching football.Feels really good having time to myself only problem is the boredom.

 

[EPL1]

I'm doing great my friend!!

Went to the lake this weekend, it's really hot here!! What's the weather like there? Your weekend sounds so nice, I'm sure your kids like this new change in you so much!!! The boredom, yes, we could do without that couldn't we??? Oh well,could always be worse, right??? Keep being you Yuba, you're AMAZING!!!

Hugs,
your friend always,
Ash.

How you doing ash hope you had a good weekend.I spent Saturday taking kids out and Sunday watching football.Feels really good having time to myself only problem is the boredom.