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The Big & Dandy Methoxetamine / MXE Thread - Holey Shit no. 15

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Wow... Why did I never do this roa? It always seemed so complicated but I'm at a full +++ in just a few minutes and it only took seconds of prep. These 1mL syringes I got for benzos are perfect for rectal use. I'll report later... Gotta get the TV and laptop connected so I can dive into this new anime.
 
What reasoning have y'all to suggest that the yellow (I call it tan, it's tan guys) MXE is tiletamine? To me it feels plenty like its white salty predecessor, only cleaner feeling (i.e. less spinning, less visual focus inhibition). I'm more inclined to believe in polymorph variances than to believe that a well respected vendor would be sending everyone tiletamine. Is there any definite evidence to suggest one way or the other?

It's doubtful it's tiletamine. That was just the only possibility I could think of if it wasn't real MXE. I'm sure somebody who took tiletamine before would have noticed that the "MXE" was that if it was. It was fairly common for tiletamine to be sold as ketamine or MXE several years ago but I haven't heard of it recently. It would be nice if someone who has taken tiletamine before could tell us how to tell it from MXE though. Surely they can't taste exactly the same, have the same lack of nose burn etc. Tiletamine has sulfur in it so I would think it would have a different taste or something. There are some tiletamine threads on here but I didn't see any posts statting how to tell it from MXE other than by the actual effects.

Incidentally, the stuff I got is pure white free flowing crystals and though I'm not allowed to state the price let's just say it was very attractive. I don't know what "fluff" would be like but I'm assuming it would not be a pourable powder, which I find very convenient. You can just pour some out of the bag like salt. I don't think I would even want a fluffy talc-like version. I think that would tend to go down your lungs when snorted. This crystal doesn't do that.
 
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Well I'll never get to sample the white batch from Spain but I did mix the yellow and the white from China this morning and had my mind blown. Still going. Plugging is the way to go... Even if it doesn't all go into solution the syringe sucks up the dust and it hits you anyway... Should have been doing this for years. So much more intense and less side effects.

My MXE tolerance is not nice though. Still no full blown hole at 100mg plugged with the mix. I am really thinking that I have a permanent tolerance thanks to my DXM days. Did that stuff so much that now all I get is a racing heart, an upset stomach, and I can't see... Up to 800mg

But that was years ago.

I was snorting 100mg lines of the old school MXE too. Just a high tolerance. Damn.
 
I've also started plugging in the past week, first time doing so with any drug, and yes, it is a totally different drug. 16-18mg last night had me feeling the equivalent of double if not more than double the dose orally.

Amazing.
 
I don't know what holing is like. I was fully conscious of my surroundings and everything, but it felt like I couldn't hold reality together so that everything made sense. I've had the same feeling on shrooms and salvia. I become frightened that I will stay that way forever and will never be able to get back to the way things were before. But yes, as Xorkoth said, I always do eventually get back to the way it was before. In fact, by now I should be able to have confidence that I will get back to reality every time it happens but still, when it's actually taking place I always manage to think that this time is the time when I really screwed up the universe for eternity because I took a weird chemical.

The scariest part is when I think I am realizing that the universe can't really exist. It's not really possible. I realize that the universe is really just me. There are no other real people or anything. It's just me and what I did was somehow create the universe by a trick. I managed to trick myself into creating the entire universe by getting myself to temporarily believe that it's possible. As long as I can trick myself into forgetting that's it's impossible for anything to exist, as logically you must all agree (because how can something come from nothing, right?), the universe can exist. But if ever I become conscious of the fact that the universe, my life and everything I am aware of, is not actually possible then the whole thing will collapse and it will go back to eternal nothingness. That's what brings on the extreme panic, the feeling that I'm getting close to remembering that it's all just a trick and nothing really exists. If I ever get all the way to no longer being fooled by my own trick, that will be the end of everything that ever existed or ever will exist. So far the trick is still working, but for how long?

The fact that the universe exists right now shows that I succeeded in formulating a complicated enough trick that it's still holding together. That was the greatest accomplishment I ever made, I figured out a way to make the universe exist even though in reality it's impossible. I made a trick so incredibly convoluted that I haven't been able to remember what it was yet, which thereby allows it to continue to work. I had to make it so complicated that I myself could never figure it out. Think how hard that would be. I also get the feeling that I created the universe numerous times before but all those times I hadn't made the trick complicated enough therefore they all collapsed and I had to start all over again, making it more and more complicated every time. That's why the universe seems so complex right now, with the galaxies going on and on seemingly without end, because this is the most complicated version yet. I made this one so complex that it will take a real long time for it to collapse due to the trick eventually failing to convince me that the universe is real. Maybe this one will actually work permanently. Maybe I made it so perfect this time that I will never fail to believe that the universe is real again and therefore it will never collapse.

oh you found out

https://www.facebook.com/notes/henry-chinaski/gnostic-light/316311165085712

*We Die To Remember What We Live To Forget*

the other day my dearest
a mushroom talked to me
and though no words were spoken
what it said has set me free
what the mushroom has told me
is that we are the universe
dividing our consciousness
to experience ourselves

[chorus]
i shall not hear the shadows
i shall not feel the rain;
i shall not hear the nigthingale
sing on, as if in pain
and dreaming through this twilight
that does not rise nor set,
haply i may remember
and haply i may forget

so when i dead my dearest
sing no sad songs for me
plat thou no roses at my head
nor shady cypress tree
be the green grass above me
with showers and dewdrops wet
and if thou wilt, remember
and if thou wilt, forget

[chorus]
i shall no fear the darkness
i shall not feel the pain
i shall not let the greediness
turn me into a slave
travelling through this tough life
i learned to accepts my fate
when die is to remember
what we forget at birth
 
Well I guess there was nothing wrong with my mxe... Was my roa... It was lasting 2 hours if I was lucky... Last plug was at 8 and its now 230 and I'm starting to feel a slow decline.

Don't know what is up with that. Body must just chew it up and spit it out orally.
 
On the assumption I receive my MXE this week, what dosage would you guys recommend for each ROA (oral, sublingual, insufflated, plugged, IM) for someone with pretty much zero dissociative experience? "Starting low" isn't too much of a concern; I have no real issues getting through uncomfortable/difficult experiences, so I'm happy to shoot for the higher end of the suggested starting point :)
 
25mg plugged.

You don't want to start too high with dissociatives because your first dose could well end up being your permanent tolerance to them. 25mg will have you on your ass if you plug it and have never touched a drug in the family.

After doing rectal today I can't honestly suggest any other way... I've snorted it and eaten it... Its not the same... Snorting it works but is the same dose as oral and is short, oral for me seems to be very short while plugged gets me a lot of mileage. Never again any other way unless I decide to try IM for the first time.
 
Last batch I got (April 2011) was a very fluffy white powder.....and it was so not like any of the stuff I got for the whole year previously....it wasn't nearly as good, and if I over did it I blacked out, which has never happened in the first 10 batches I got
 
Last batch I got (April 2011) was a very fluffy white powder.....and it was so not like any of the stuff I got for the whole year previously....it wasn't nearly as good, and if I over did it I blacked out, which has never happened in the first 10 batches I got

That really may have been tiletamine, unless you know for sure from the taste and stuff that it was MXE.

That fact that i had a Total Blackout of the night really bothered me. i was determined to remeber what the experience was like. so i got some more and a few nights later I tryed it in my room.
I woke up the next day With absolutley no recolection of the night..
I didnt think it was a drug worth persuing anymore so i got rid of it.
https://www.erowid.org/experiences/exp.php?ID=20460
 
oh you found out

https://www.facebook.com/notes/henry-chinaski/gnostic-light/316311165085712

*We Die To Remember What We Live To Forget*

the other day my dearest
a mushroom talked to me
and though no words were spoken
what it said has set me free
what the mushroom has told me
is that we are the universe
dividing our consciousness
to experience ourselves

Well, what I have gathered from reading about 3500 NDE accounts is that God split himself up into billions, or trillions (including other planets) of individual smaller units to develop itself as much as possible, or something along those lines. After we die we again become part of the God collective and can share life experiences with all the other souls. Personally, I find that concept frightening. I don't really want to be aware of all the gruesome details of every other person's life, nor do I want them aware of mine, but what can you do? I don't even look forward to the life review that happens right after death. God, or some representative thereof, is right there with you going over every detail of your life. I guess the lesson there is not to do stuff that you don't want reviewed later.

Sadly I already did a bunch of embarrassing stuff, but the way I look at it I didn't invite any entities to look over my life so if they see disgusting stuff I guess that's their problem. Maybe they shouldn't snoop into my life. Besides, I bet if I looked into the earth lives of that entity, assuming it had some, I'm guessing it would look as bad or worse than mine anyway. And if the entity is God himself and he never had any earth lives then how can he look badly on mine. He doesn't know what it's like having to live an earth life. Being a goody-good all the time would probably drive you insane. Besides, a soul can learn more from having varied experiences than just living like a monk anyway.
 
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I seriously doubt it's tiletamine guys. It looks and tastes like MXE and MXE has been known for causing black outs and other stupidity since the first batch was made. I should know as I did too much of the very first batch and blacked out and scared the shit out of my new roommate which cost me my entire collection of research chemicals and other drugs. It's MXE. Tiletamine isn't even known to cause black outs either, its just dysphoric compared to ketamine - I believe F&B said it was the thienyl group or something that is the likely culprit to it not being pleasant. If you email the seller you may be able to get an analysis.

As for the pieces of God thing, wouldn't it make sense that we are all seeds of something greater and that "life" is just a short blip on the radar to learn specific lessons before we go on to our next life? If you haven't felt connected to everything in the universe from the neighbor next door to the mountains and trees and everything in between than you have never truly had a psychedelic experience. I've known about everything being connected since I was 10 and had never touched a drug because I used to meditate so much. MXE emphasizes the God seed experience in all of us the first few times we get the dose right but as we gain a rapid tolerance to it, not only does that effect go away, we start approaching the blackout point with our doses and then it's party over for a few months or you risk permanent tolerance.
 
Well, what I have gathered from reading about 3500 NDE accounts is that God split himself up into billions, or trillions (including other planets) of individual smaller units to develop itself as much as possible, or something along those lines. After we die we again become part of the God collective and can share life experiences with all the others.

God, or some representative thereof, is right there with you going over every detail of your life.

hahaha! Jason, it is all you. No god but you. Not others but you (and with "you" I mean "all of us", thus is, the totality of what exist)

to summarise:

"we -thus is, "god" or "existence"- were a single solitary consciousness existing in The Void for all eternity. back then, before the original big-bang, we were the eternal energy of consciousnesses/time, or infinite potential, not yet manifested

...but it feels so lonely in eternity being just one
being one (or the One), the only way for us to enjoy company is by forgetting our true nature of eternal communion by dividing or bifurcating ourselves repeatedly until, in a huge cosmic explosion, we gave birth to what we know as the multiverse: the mind/dream of the goddess/god, whose purpose for the process is one suffused with infinite empathy, aka divine love http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iE9dEAx5Sgw

as deeper as we divide ourselves, as more feeble the memory of being all One becomes; therefore making the illusion of being separated in a universe of separated objects or beings feel more and more real.
as real this illusion of separation feels, as further we get to know ourselves (or shall i say: "figments of ourselves"), by perceiving and experiencing our disparage behaviours, attitudes, perceptions, dreams, inventions etc -the acts we experience as *living*

the one and only thing that prevents us from directly experiencing ourselves as the Unitary Energy Being that we are is our ego and the beliefs, ideas, and illusions that our ego uses to artificially construct its/our sense of self

in the end, what i'm writing about is liberation from fear. liberation from fear of being oneself. liberation from the fear of reality. liberation from the fear of life and the fear of death. liberation from the fear of succeeding or failing. liberation from trying and relaxing into infinite nature of being, right here, right now

“‘Liberation,’ Dr. Robert began again, ‘the ending of sorrow, ceasing to be what you ignorantly think you are and becoming what you are in fact. For a little while, thanks to the moksha-medicine [metho-xetamine], you will know what it’s like to be what in fact you are, what in fact you always have been. What a timeless bliss! But, like everything else, this timelessness is transient. Like everything else, it will pass. And when it has passed, what will you do with this experience?’ […]
‘Will you merely enjoy them as you would enjoy an evening at the puppet show, and then go back to business as usual. Or, having glimpsed, will you devote your lives to the business, not at all as usual, of being what you are in fact?’ ("the Island", Aldous Huxley, Ch. 10, p. 208)

"Between sentient Awareness and insentient matter is an illusion formed in the mind. Moksha is seen as a final release from this illusion when one's worldly conception of self is erased and there takes place a loosening of the shackle of experiential duality, accompanied by the realization of one's own fundamental nature: sat (true being), cit (pure consciousness), and ananda, an experience which is ineffable and beyond sensation (see satcitananda).[9]
Advaita holds that Atman, Brahman, and Paramatman are all one and the same - the formless Nirguna Brahman which is beyond the being/non-being distinction, tangibility, and comprehension."
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moksha

* * *

"29. For I am divided for love's sake, for the chance of union.

30. This is the creation of the world, that the pain of division is as nothing, and the joy of dissolution all."

(Liber AL vel Legis sub figura CCXX (The Book of the Law), Chapter 1)"

Therefore, the lesson there is not to hurt others, as others are also YOU. Anything you do to others, you are doing it to you

:)

...we are godxistence playing at becomin' an infinite number of beings. we call this process "evolution"...
 
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The TAN is not tiletamine. I've had tiletamine and it produces mad paranoia and not the euphoric blissful state MXE provides. About 2years ago there was a good amount of tiletamine being spread as MXE. It's quite unpleasant. You would know right away it's not MXE.
 
I find amusing the diversity of the tangents we get on in this thread, yet they all have to do with MXE in some way. Even talk of God and afterlife are connected to what people tend to experience with MXE. I think one of the first experiences people tend to have in the M-hole is that of dying or feeling 'the end of the Universe (or the Singularity, the end of time), chatting with God for a minute, and then needing to rebuild the Universe from a million pieces before coming back to reality. This drug does inspire a lot!
 
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I never found myself to be dying... Quite the opposite actually... I found the part of myself that is an extension of the universe and felt the link between all the rest of the universe. Only dxm ever did that to me and this was even more profound (except the time Isis walked out of my wall in broad daylight on DXM, nothing has ever matched that)... But there is definitely something about MXE...
 
On the assumption I receive my MXE this week, what dosage would you guys recommend for each ROA (oral, sublingual, insufflated, plugged, IM) for someone with pretty much zero dissociative experience? "Starting low" isn't too much of a concern; I have no real issues getting through uncomfortable/difficult experiences, so I'm happy to shoot for the higher end of the suggested starting point :)

I am similar to you. I started with 25mg oral and it was a bit much (I was with people who were sober/didn't know I was on drugs) to keep it together. I notice some psychedelic anxiety kind of creep in at that dose, eg deep analysis of events going on in my life. It was not bad as thinking shit through is always a good thing but not a "woo lets party/wow i feel so good" type of feeling.

I find 13-15mg plugged is my sweet spot for social use.

If you are by yourself and want to push it a little, try 25mg plugged and dose up it from there.
 
Yea 25mg plugged of any batch remotely good is going to have you pretty goddamn high. 13mg plugged reallyyyy surprised me the other day, and I've been using MXE off and on for two years now, three or four batches, all pretty good.
Plugging is seriously a whole nother ballgame. I'd imagine a hole would be possible at 35mg plugging (I am not endorsing trying to do so your first time in any way).

Also, I don't agree with magickalkat with oral being short. Oral and rectal seem to have a pretty similar duration, although I haven't gone far enough out rectally to get a comparison with oral.

EDIT: Since you asked for first time dosages for each ROA, here's my suggestions:

Rectal: 10-12mg for a taste, but not low enough to be underwhelmed, 15mg next time, then 20mg
Oral/Sublingual: 15mg, 20-25mg, 30-35mg
Nasal: slightly lower than oral or sublingual

Also, in this order: rectal>oral>sublingual>nasal the effects get slightly less psychedelic and slightly more stimulatory (energetic being a better word). The biggest difference is rectal compared to all. Nasal is only slight compared to oral and sublingual. IME.
 
Yea 25mg plugged of any batch remotely good is going to have you pretty goddamn high. 13mg plugged reallyyyy surprised me the other day, and I've been using MXE off and on for two years now, three or four batches, all pretty good.
Plugging is seriously a whole nother ballgame. I'd imagine a hole would be possible at 35mg plugging (I am not endorsing trying to do so your first time in any way).

Also, I don't agree with magickalkat with oral being short. Oral and rectal seem to have a pretty similar duration, although I haven't gone far enough out rectally to get a comparison with oral.

EDIT: Since you asked for first time dosages for each ROA, here's my suggestions:

Rectal: 10-12mg for a taste, but not low enough to be underwhelmed, 15mg next time, then 20mg
Oral/Sublingual: 15mg, 20-25mg, 30-35mg
Nasal: slightly lower than oral or sublingual

Also, in this order: rectal>oral>sublingual>nasal the effects get slightly less psychedelic and slightly more stimulatory (energetic being a better word). The biggest difference is rectal compared to all. Nasal is only slight compared to oral and sublingual. IME.

Awesome post! Thanks mate! This is everything I needed to know :)

The last part about variance in effects interests me....once I've found my ideal dosages and duration of onset for each, I'd be interested to know if there's any useful synergy between ROA's (as in plugged PLUS insufflated, for the best of both worlds).
 
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