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The philosophy of wanting to die

To quote E.M Cioran;
"Only optimists commit suicide, optimists who no longer succeed at being optimists. The others, having no reason to live, why would they have any to die?"

That being said, I've been on the brink many years ago. Not out of depression or anxiety. I just felt this macabre charade wasn't my cup of tea.
Then I overdosed and had other experiences I'd call near death. It made me take life less seriously, maybe too much.
As of now, I contemplate suicide frequently. I've already deicided that's how I'll go (unless something else gets me first).
But I see no reason in killing myself, since I will die eventually anyway.

I think it means you're an intelligent being, and being that ultimately leads to futility. Your illusions about what life is has been shattered, and when reality is naked before you, it's hard not to reach the conclusion that life is of no inherent value or meaning, and as humans, we always search for meaning.
People tend to subdue their consciousness by various means to avoid thinking about these matters;
I hold the opinion that those who's never even thought about suicide are simply fed up with stupidity; it's an artform, really, putting any serious thoughts in a coma and to possess the deductive skills of a dog.

And by the way, I gotta say that I do NOT consider suicide a coward-move. We know what life "is", our daily routines.
Suicide is the ultimate leap into the unknown.
 
Does anyone have this? What do you think it means?
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Passion for death is healthy; it is part of the death drive (desire for war, homicide, suicide) and the sex/life drive (love, fucking, reproducing, "family") that we are instinctually drawn to.

The natural conclusion even if you don't want to die, at the end of life, is death, hence why embracing and loving it is like not a bad thing.

Imagine you're a kid in the back seat on their way to get a flu shot.

Are you going to scream and cry and deliberately pretend the needle hurt more than it really did, or are you going to sit back, stay quiet, and enjoy the lollipop?
 
Understandable. After all, the belief you HAVE to go on living is completely flawed. No-one HAS to live. You are not in debt to anybody the minute you are born, there are not trials and you are not on probation with a point to prove. To think otherwise would assume there is something or someone above you that operates you like a machine and that while you can somewhat pretend to be semi-living, in a state of half heartedly accepting your life is your responsibility, for the most part there is something or someone just out of the picture who decides things and therefore your life is not really your own.

I believe Western society is obsessed with living because we really don't understand our obsession is based on not actually living at all. We go throughout our entire lives repressing what really matters, what can connect us to something meaningful, running away from the truth, playing a game of sorts that we know what we want and we know where we are going and that we are the superior chimpanzees of the jungle impeneterable to whatever nature throws at is. In reality, this is a delusion and it is death what we are afraid of and so we must run through life pretending like death will never happen to us and that it should be shrouded in mystery and a sombre occasion when it happens. This is because we are obsessed with the material aspect of life and we overcompensate for our insecurities, our disconnection from nature, spirituality, our innate potential, the reality of our existence and then we throw any opportunity we have at facing realities like death and the choosing to take ones own life away in a desperate bid not to face the elephant in the room.

If by wanting to die we mean suicide, I can completely relate to anybody who wishes to kill themselves. I can also relate to anybody who wishes to die, regardless of whether they go about ensuring it happens before their time or not. What we are talking about is what exists beyond the illusions of the societies we live in, beyond the ideals, values, norms, cultural beliefs etc. What we are talking about is mans understanding of himself and his position in the universe and whether that position is worth it to him/her to continue assuming his/her role and position. When you get to this point, when you get deep enough into the fabric of reality and the understanding of the human condition, you see that the instrinsic need to continue going on is entirely fabricated and holds absolutely no weight whatsoever, other than of course, the continuation of the species and of our societies. But by making this distinction and understanding that the desire to continue to live and for our species and society to continue onwards, we must also come home to ourselves and accept the very things, the very truths, the entirety of what it means to be human in the first place. And so we find ourselves in a contradiction. We find ourselves at the point where the reality we are told is REALLY REAL and the reality that exists beyond that are two completely different things. This is the delusion in the Western world of you HAVING to continue living and for life to be a chore that you HAVE to live out because at the end of the road you get a medal and the worldwide population is by your side congratulating you on playing the game and winning, right?

This among many other things is what makes Western civilization and it's gradual escape from the humanity and nature of it's own existence so toxic and so incompatible with how things really are, hence the state of the Western world politically, economically, financially, mentally, emotionally and probably most importantly, spiritually. Once that connection to ourselves and to spirit, to our own human condtition, is severed, we can no longer discuss these things without it becoming far too traumatic and far too real to accept.

If people want out, that is their choice. It is a fair choice. Is the game worth the candle? What do you REALLY win at the end of it? What is life REALLY about anyway? Who says much of what we assume is reality ACTUALLY IS reality beyond the illusions weaved everyday? What is life is not important? What if living to old age is not what life is about? What is life is NOT a fight and that there is NO point to be proven other than to reinforce the beliefs WE have about our lives? What if we are simply monkeys screaming at the moon desperate to find purpose and because purpose has to be something meaningful, beneficial and authentic we struggle to accept it when our screams are not answered, because we ourselves are perhaps not living authentic lives? What if the beliefs are not conducive with the nature of our condition? If we live in such a world that is obsessed with a superficial connection to all that grounds us in this universe, how can we ever stand to relate and empathically be with anothe human being who no longer sees a meaning to life? Perhaps he/she has seen beyond the illusion, the games we play, the elaborate systems of control and manipulation to keep us all going in the direction of our societies.

Behind the desire to die, prematurely or otherwise, there is a powerful connection to understanding ones human condition and our place in the universe. And I believe, having been there myself a few times, our place in the universe is not as big and not as dramatic and not as narcissistic/grandiose as our Western world makes out. We are not special. We do not have special gifts. We are animals like any other and we evolved into the humans we are today and we have simply lost touch with reality. We want to send a message to the entire universe that we are the kings of everything. But why? Because we are insecure. We are fragile. We are begging for approval and validation. We are desperate for attention. And because of this, we can't face the truth when we see the other sides to life that exist, such as the fact that life itself is not mandatory and the only narratives that exist for the purpose of our lives are ones we have elaborately constructed for ourselves to protect us from seeing these truths, 99% of the time.

Understand the truth and life is simply, well, life. It's nothing and from within that it's everything. Yet we live in a world where we are told life is EVERYTHING first without ever being taught that actually life is NOTHING and that we are NOTHING until we can understand that from this we are everything. And so when people get disappointed and the realities dont align and they were lied to, they see behind the bullsh*t being spun on a daily basis, they pick away at the facade and they see? You guessed it... nothing. They see nothing. And that scares the hell out of them. Their ego cannot handle it. Alas, the state of our understanding of life and the repression of anything that seeks to compromise and expose the illusions we live by everyday.

Does this mean losing someone isn't tragic? Absolutely not. But it makes us understand from a much deeper level what REALLY is important when everything is taken away and what we are left with is the raw truth behind everything. The reality of life we often run away from and think will never happen to us.
 
When I was a kid I'd always be somewhere else, day-dreaming. I didn't even have to imagine it. I later realized I was actually going to other dimensions while I was sitting in class or otherwise doing something I didn't want to do. I guess at some point I adjusted my thoughts so I didn't have to think about anything.

I've never felt like dying but when it may have been too much for me, I went numb and dissociated. Surely wanting to die must be a normal, healthful response in certain situations. If it never goes away, I'm not sure. As for me I might look normal but I've suffered with anhedonia for the past 13 years; to the point that I'm convinced that this is the result of my fully developed brain. Imagine wanting to be passionate but not having the ability to feel passion
 
Real true universal knowledge comes from experiencing reality in its fullness. The good and the bad. If you have not died yet then it obviously means that you still have purpose and there is still potential for growth and learning and understanding and wisdom otherwise nature and your higher self would just take you out on its own.

Suicide is a self destruct button that is based off of fear and resistance and ego. It is not a be all end all by any means. It has consequences like anything else. Not to sound like a 3rd century evangelist but is true. Your higher self will just find another form that suits its purposes and desires and it will possibly become harder to get into a state of allowing and acceptance about the rawness of human life and emotions and suffering.

To me it seems like nihilist brainwashing and socialization and detachment from your reality and dissociation from oneself and ones experiences that makes people actually want to follow through with their suicidal thoughts. I have wanted to die before and realized there is no point to that because there is no such thing as death. Only in your mind and the illusion producing mechanisms inside of it. Only thing that’s real about that is the wasted time and energy. And it can cause a wheel that is hard to get out of. You may have already committed suicide in your past life.

Vulnerability and trauma from childhood could make it hard to see the light. As well as victimizing oneself due to recent pitfalls or tragedies. But if we were to all realize our true nature and our true intentions and our ability to shift and create reality as we know it just by using our minds, there would be no such thing as suicide because we would not victimize ourselves to the psychological traps that are associated with not knowing that fundamental aspect of reality.

Some people who have gotten so deep into the trance of disillusionment have already committed psychological suicide. Because they have been wanting to escape their reality all their life. And now you’re left with nothing but the meaningless existisitential pieces of cloth on your back. But I believe we can heal ourselves of anything by just stepping into the spirit zone and letting it take you for the ride.

The ride to the God mouth that takes you to love and happiness and respect for oneself and others. What can I say? It is natural to want to die when you are seemingly thrust into the heaviness of fleshly body and constant mass and gravity pulling you down to the lower levels of the earth. But the question is are you willing to succumb to that abuse over your body and create more heartache for yourself and others. If you are then you have free will and you can do that but If you believe in the soul and you believe in the spirit then your body was given to you as a gift to try and navigate through this plane in your own unique way. But if you take that away by force then you are taking away those gifts that the spirit has given you.

If you’re atheist then it is still a gift by nature. The same force and momentum that created your loved ones and your role models and your children. It is just a matter of getting out of the individualized box and realizing you are not the only person in the world that is suffering and you can make a difference in yourself and make a difference in the world by changing your outlooks and belief systems and your expectations of what you think life should be like. You can turn your whole life around by realizing that connection and passion and intuition is the yellow brick road to the kingdom of heaven. If the angels killed themselves where do you think they would go to??

The ability to conquer your demons lies within the electricity of your intuition and your compassion for other people and what you genuinely think is the right thing to do. There is no right and wrong. But you know when you’re out of alignment with your spirit because you feel like shit. That is your indication. Nothing happens randomly or by accident. We are stuck in a wheel of negative experiences and karma and the only way out of that is to go directly into it and let it consume you so that you can understand it and figure out the reason why it is showing up in your experience. We are taught to push it away and to treat it as an enemy but pills won’t save you. Weed won’t save you. Acid won’t save you. The only thing that can save you is your confidence. We only use external things as escape strategies. Although they can be prone to revelation and shifting your perspective. You can become dependent on it and not realize your true potential.
 
pulverstaden said:
Uhm, no?
Stigmatizing suicide is a heinous act. Taking your own life is harder than keep doin the 9-5.
And suicide isn't always out of fear, sorry mate. That's pure bullshit.
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I never said it was easy... I know I wouldn’t be able to take my own life.

But the fear factor is strong in a lot of people that do commit suicide. That is an obvious observation and they have resistance to life because they are too individualized and stuck in a mental loop of torment so they do not see the full picture and they don’t have the motivation to fully connect with their fellow man. That’s why most of them are isolated peoples. They fear outside stimuli and criticism.

Their ego has most of the control. And the ego self is rampant with fear given its evolutionary fight or flight response. Whether we are aware of that fear or not. We have fear and resistance toward one or many aspects of physical life until we feel like the only way to avoid that is to escape into the abyss.

Suicide is a virus that spreads throughout humanity and gets you to self destruct so that your talents and abilities won’t be shared with the world. It’s a mind game put on by socialization and mind control. I’m not saying that there aren’t people out there who genuinely feel like killing themselves is the best possible choice but that’s still an illusion. And that’s still the minority. The real problem is the teens and young adults who grow up in the social media age that was built off the back of the suicidal maniacs of the 90s and that whole generation x business that led up to the suicide of Kurt cobain and the death of others. That’s a different disease and will only get worse if we are not fully aware of the source.
 
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ovenbakedskittles said:
I never said it was easy... I know I wouldn’t be able to take my own life.

But the fear factor is strong in a lot of people that do commit suicide. That is an obvious observation and they have resistance to life because they are too individualized and stuck in a mental loop of torment so they do not see the full picture and they don’t have the motivation to fully connect with their fellow man. That’s why most of them are isolated peoples. They fear outside stimuli and criticism.

Their ego has most of the control. And the ego self is rampant with fear given its evolutionary fight or flight response. Whether we are aware of that fear or not. We have fear and resistance toward one or many aspects of physical life until we feel like the only way to avoid that is to escape into the abyss.

Suicide is a virus that spreads throughout humanity and gets you to self destruct so that your talents and abilities won’t be shared with the world. It’s a mind game put on by socialization and mind control. I’m not saying that there aren’t people out there who genuinely feel like killing themselves is the best possible choice but that’s still an illusion. And that’s still the minority. The real problem is the teens and young adults who grow up in the social media age that was built off the back of the suicidal maniacs of the 90s and that whole generation x business that led up to the suicide of Kurt cobain and the death of others. That’s a different disease and will only get worse if we are not fully aware of the source.
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Oh, man, do we disagree on this-

I'll reply when sober.
 
I want to know what it feels like to be able to kill yourself. I've always just felt like I couldn't do anything because I felt out of touch with myself. It must be nice to have an attachment to your own sense of well being while being able to choose life or death. I'm not saying depression is fun. I've had it, but I don't think one necessarily has to be plagued with mental issues to kill themselves. It's an interesting subject
 
Gormur said:
I want to know what it feels like to be able to kill yourself. I've always just felt like I couldn't do anything because I felt out of touch with myself. It must be nice to have an attachment to your own sense of well being while being able to choose life or death. I'm not saying depression is fun. I've had it, but I don't think one necessarily has to be plagued with mental issues to kill themselves. It's an interesting subject
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Suicide is the only sane and appropriate response to a reality that is, and I'm being gentle, in-fucking-sane, relentless.
But we're all lunatics, singing, dancing, laughing and fucking hand in hand, confident tomorrow will bring new opportunities - while all it does, day by day, is close one door after another.
It's not in my script to off myself. I lack the courage and I want to demolish too much to throw in the towel early.

But, I do envy my friends, in a way, who opted out of this raw deal early with overdoses and razorblades.
 
I'd venture to say that people who commit suicide are smart, like born intelligent. After all, one has to be intelligent to know how to end one's life. I think that's admirable even if I might think suicide looks ugly; I can appreciate what it accomplishes, why it's done and what it results in. Before everybody misunderstands what I'm saying, I think death is as beautiful as life
 
I always tell myself ill bite a bullet when life just becomes completely boring and pointless.

my philosophy is that suicide carries no negative burden to the afterlife but its not the end of your consciousness but its the end of your ego and physical body which was not your true self. instead the person merges back into the source which is divine bliss and love gets bored after a while of been everything and then comes back as a separated form again. Suicide i believe is a persons own free will and choice they are given whenever they want to continue this eternal cycle a game or at any one point check out and go back to the source of divine bliss and love which has all the answers and is their true self since nothing exists outside of the one eternal cosnciouneness which is god.

Death is just the other side of life. Will that energy decide to be born as a alien in a different galaxy will it realize earth with all its flaws is a cool place to live and come back or will they be like fuck that im going to live out in a heavenly realm with higher beings which are all still just the one being that exists.
 
Gormur said:
I'd venture to say that people who commit suicide are smart, like born intelligent. After all, one has to be intelligent to know how to end one's life. I think that's admirable even if I might think suicide looks ugly; I can appreciate what it accomplishes, why it's done and what it results in. Before everybody misunderstands what I'm saying, I think death is as beautiful as life
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I really disagree with that...and maybe this is me just misunderstanding what you’re saying but I personally believe we are all intelligent in one way or another but the subjective interpretation of the concept of intelligence is relevant to whatever the person thinks is most important in life to be intelligent about.

If it takes an intelligent person to kill themselves then it takes an even more intelligent person to overcome their suicidal tendencies and to get to a place in their life where those kinds of thoughts aren’t holding them back anymore.

And I don’t think that you have to be that smart to know how you’re going to end your own life. There’s people who have attempted to kill themselves but didn’t succeed and became very mangled and messed up because they underestimated the complexities of such an act so I think it’s safe to say that suicide in general has nothing to do with intelligence. It has to do with lack of will and feeling like you’re helpless and like that’s the only way out. If you become aware of the higher nature of things then you realize that killing yourself does not make any sense and doesn’t solve anything and just causes a loop that you get stuck in for generations.

So you would actually have to be more “intelligent” to not kill your self. But again, it has less to do with intelligence and more so with emotional trauma and resistance to physicality and the density of emotions and negative thoughts and outlooks. Most of which are inflicted upon you by society and your parents when you’re growing up and you adopt as your own.
 
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i believe there is nothing acutally to learn about life because the true self which is the god self knows all and is just playing a divine game out of utter boredom of been alone so made up the maya illusion of separate things and set in motion life.
 
ovenbakedskittles said:
I never said it was easy... I know I wouldn’t be able to take my own life.

But the fear factor is strong in a lot of people that do commit suicide. That is an obvious observation and they have resistance to life because they are too individualized and stuck in a mental loop of torment so they do not see the full picture and they don’t have the motivation to fully connect with their fellow man. That’s why most of them are isolated peoples. They fear outside stimuli and criticism.

Their ego has most of the control. And the ego self is rampant with fear given its evolutionary fight or flight response. Whether we are aware of that fear or not. We have fear and resistance toward one or many aspects of physical life until we feel like the only way to avoid that is to escape into the abyss.
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My arguments are based on first-hand experiences, anecdots and various litterature, aswell as alot of psychedelic journeys into the abyss.
They're sprung out of affect; the worst arguments often are, so I expect no-one to agree.

I agree fear is a strong factor but in an alll-together different way. I'm gonna cheat and use some qoutes from the movie/script "Sunset Limitied" by Cormac McCarthy.
If you haven't seen it or read the manuscript, do it. I have the script at hand to mail, if you want. Two men arguing for life and against life, Samuel Jackson and T- Lee. Such great movie, and even better script. Anyways.

"Banish the fear of death from men's hearts and they wouldn't live a day. Who would want this nightmare but for fear of the next?"

Do you agree with this? If you'd remove the fear of death, just for a day, I'm sure the bodies would stack unto heaven all over.
It might be confirmation-bias, but as I read more and more psychology, I'm certain this drive, the prospect of death, knowing we will die one die, drives all our other actions and thoughts.

I agree that alot of people, very tragically, commit suicide in desperation, fear, anxiety - this is a tragedy.
I know I come off as paradoxal, but hey, aren't we all?
The only connection with my fellow man is our suffering; we might share similar hobbies, interests, political views, have come to the same conclusion regarding the meaning of life;
but nothing weighs as heavy as our fellowship of suffering. That's where we connect.

Isolation, I think, is a big part of the solution.
I've never felt more sane than when I had no one around to compare myself with; never have I felt such relief from other negative emotions as when I've spent periods alone (up to two months without a single conversation; lovely).
Isolation also deals with the ego; it strips it apart, to pieces, fragments. What is ego but our insercurities on how we perceive ourselves and others do?
The ego demands an audience. Isolation offers none.

I agree with what you say about the ego, but replace "ego" with "death-anxiety", which results in cosmic panic, and if you get past that, futilitiy.


ovenbakedskittles said:
Suicide is a virus that spreads throughout humanity and gets you to self destruct so that your talents and abilities won’t be shared with the world.
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I think this is what drives people into depression, anxiety, and suicide; the fact that we put such weight on talents, abilities, legacy.
Personally, I think the meaning of life has nothing to do with sharing talents or abilities. It's simply about finding a path where the light barely conquers the dark, like hummingbirds in cole-mines.
Still, society tells us to rush, to hurry; we're being overflooded by expectations, by the coma that's fame, the new gods who aren't metaphysichal but plastic, golden, metallic.

I do honestly believe that in any intelligent person (I'm not talking IQ or EQ or some shit here), suicide is a constant splinter in the back of their minds.
It's a failing of defense-mechanism against the world; you're no longer able to paint rainbows over tarpits, polish shit into gold.
You've looked behind the veil, and you get stuck, because nothing can offer up any arguments against that realization.


- ..you saying everybody that just ain't eat up with the dumb-ass ought to be suicidal.
- Yes.
- You ain't shitting me?
- No, I am not shitting you. If people could see the world for what it truly is, see their lives for what they truly are -
without dreams or illusions - I don't believe they could offer the first reason why they should not elect to die
as soon as possible.

ovenbakedskittles said:
It’s a mind game put on by socialization and mind control. I’m not saying that there aren’t people out there who genuinely feel like killing themselves is the best possible choice but that’s still an illusion. And that’s still the minority.
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You mean suicide is a mind game, or a form of mind control? Why is it an illusion? What makes life so sanctified?
I think it all depends on your whole life-view. I have no certain theories about life and meaning, but the big bounce, the eternal return or recurrence, which is so far partly confirmed by the latest Planck-data and other studies, suggests there's a curvature in the universe, which would indicate an enclosed universe. Expanding, contracting, expanding, contracting -forever.
That is my nightmare, and that is unfortunately what my mind believes in, whether I like it or not. I'd love to be religious; to be idealistic. But, like I said, suicide is not a trait of mine. I'm far to narcissitic.

ovenbakedskittles said:
The real problem is the teens and young adults who grow up in the social media age that was built off the back of the suicidal maniacs of the 90s and that whole generation x business that led up to the suicide of Kurt cobain and the death of others. That’s a different disease and will only get worse if we are not fully aware of the source.
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I thinks what you're describing is a sort enlightenment, which is not always a happy ending. More and more young adults deciedes not to have kids; anyone who blames clearly hasn't been paying attention to the world in the past 20 years.
Jeez, I've got a niece and fuck, what are we handing her? We've wrecked this blue dot of life. One species butt-fucked an entire echosystem. There will always be copycat-suicides.
When the book "The Sorrows of Young Werther (Die Leiden des jungen Werthers)" by Goethe was released, authorities feared copycat-suicides.

People who are truly committed to saving the enviroment should have one goal and one goal only; the extinction of man.
Not as in murder; but as in STOP HAVING FUCKING BABIES.

Went a bit OT, sorry.

But, yeah, suicide and death is tricky. I can't say much, if anything, with certain, but this I believe through my entire being, from the hair on my arms to the dust in my bones;
people who get mad or disappointed or subbornly tries to talk someone out of suicide, is an egotistical ****.
 
TripSitterNZ said:
i believe there is nothing acutally to learn about life because the true self which is the god self knows all and is just playing a divine game out of utter boredom of been alone so made up the maya illusion of separate things and set in motion life.
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I don't think there's anything to do here either. I believe we existed before we were born but that doesn't make me a spiritual person. I just look at it like a cycle of life. Some people get put here and others don't. I've had visions and interactions with people who live in other dimensions, one is like what people describe as Heaven and there's also one that I'd describe as the Land of the Dead which is a very peaceful place full of people who were born in that realm. Just these handful of experiences have made my life more interesting if not escapist, but overall I think there's no reason for being here. I just hope we can figure out what all this means in the future
 
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