Guys, please tell me what I should do, I don't want to sound depressing, but right now I'm in a state where it isn't even depressing anymore, I'm afraid I might die any time soon, and not because of killing myself, just the drug killing me, messing with my brain and maybe other organs.
I started losing weight, because I thought it'd help with removing Abilify from my system, and it does apparently, because I feel so bad that I'm afraid of dying. I've noticed that after losing weight my mental state has become way worse, so I decided not to lose weight anymore. But I can't. I can't eat, because I puke all the time. Zero appetite, only puking, I'm losing weight faster and faster and I can't do anything to stop this. I don't sleep at all, like at all literally. I can't fall asleep and if I do, I have nightmares all the time and I wake up after 10 minutes after falling asleep. I feel so depressed that I don't think this can be real anymore, a person can't feel so bad, it's impossible, it's like I'm in a concentration camp with a lobotomy. I can't think and talk almost at all, right now I'm pretty sure that there is some physical change done to my brain because of this drug. I can't get out anywhere, because anxiety has reached its peak. My akathisia is back, my muscles ache so badly. Please, is there any way in which a hospital can remove the drug immediately? I'm dying everyday. I constantly think of going to a hospital, but I don't know if they can help me in any way, honestly. And I'm so afraid they'd put me on antipsychotics if I went to one, it's like a huge PTSD against drugs caused by Abilify. Plus, I'm scared of people so much that I think I wouldn't even be able to be in a hospital. I went down from 15% of bodyfat to 13.1%, measured by a calculator available on the Internet. And I'm afraid I'll have 5% of bodyfat in two weeks, because I puke everything. What the fuck do I do? If I don't respond that means I'll probably be in a hospital or that I won't be able to respond, because my brain is dead already.