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⫸STICKY⫷ ★ Dream Journal : Share your dreams ☯

These dreams occurred over the past few nights but they all seem related somehow, like every time that I fall asleep I enter a new "scene" of the same disturbing movie. Man, I've got some serious issues! :ROFLMAO:

- I was riding with my mom and there was a lady driving behind us. My mom said that it was her friend who had died recently. I asked how that was possible but she just gave me a strange look. I started freaking out and saying, "I know that you know more about this (meaning the true nature of reality, life, death, etc.) than you're letting on! Why won't you just tell me?".

- I was in the house where I grew up and my parents were angry with me about something. My mom looked different; she had gained a lot of weight and her hair was long & scraggly. She was acting completely unlike herself, talking about smoking crack and partying with guys and stuff. I started to feel like I was in some kind of alternate universe or something and it really creeped me out.

- I was living with my dad and he told me that I needed to move out ASAP. Apparently I was working at McDonald's but they were only giving me like one or two days a week, and I felt as though I couldn't find a better job. I asked where he expected me to go and he basically said that he didn't care; that was my problem to figure out. He was being really cold to me and it upset me deeply.

- I was with a girl that I dated briefly about 20 years ago, and she was working on some big paper for either work or school. I was still upset about my dad kicking me out and sort of hoping that I could stay with her for a while, but I didn't mention it because we weren't even together anymore. I was chugging a huge bottle of some strong beer that was almost like honey mead, then ran out and started looking around for more. I found a six-pack of 16 oz. Budweiser cans and started to drink them. (I'd be sick if I drank like that in real life now!)

- My mom kept insisting that it was the year 5,000 A.D. to the point where I started to believe her. I told her about my "dead friend" dream from the night before, not realizing that I was in yet another one. She said, "We're dead inside, aren't we?", but I wasn't sure if she meant it literally or figuratively. I said I think that I'm alive because I still have feelings, and that I get lonely when I'm by myself too long. Then I got the idea to compose an instrumental called "Inertia", and I imagined it as being very stark and discordant.

- I was at some airport/mall and it was like a mob scene with security guards, news reporters, etc. I think that it had to do with the situation over in Afghanistan, because there were large groups of Middle Eastern people trying to either board planes or get off of them. I realized that I wasn't even wearing my mask (I still wear it even though I was vaccinated months ago) and I kept trying to get outside but couldn't push my way through the crowds.

Yikes! o_O
 
These dreams were all extremely vivid but I lost most of the details as soon as I woke up. Here's what I remember:

- I knew a guy from some famous rock band and sent him a message online, which was typed over the image of a bowling alley that I was using as the background of my computer screen. He didn't reply and I felt silly because I told my friends & family that I was really close friends with him.

- The previous dream turned into me watching a baseball game on TV with my dad. I said that I knew Willie Mays (I did get his autograph years ago at a baseball card show in real life) and my dad brought him over to meet me. Willie barely acknowledged me and I felt silly again.

- I met some friends of mine at a local karaoke bar and a female waitress told me that I could only stay if I danced along with everyone between songs. My buddy ordered a snake dish that looked just like stir-fried Japanese eggplant.

- My mom was angry with my dad for getting drunk and told me that I wasn't allowed to drink anymore either.
 
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My subconscious mind never ceases to amaze me. These dreams made perfect sense when they were occurring, then I woke up and just shook my head in utter disbelief. I have no idea what triggered them or what they mean.

WARNING: Explicit (downright screwed-up) content!

- I was working at a bookstore and masturbating under a glass counter up front by the cash registers. My female boss came over to ask me a question and pretended not to notice, so I just carried on talking to her with it still in my hand as though nothing happened.

- Some mafia dude wanted me to give him a blowjob in the road to repay some kind of debt that I owed him. I told him to just go ahead and shoot me or whatever because I wasn't going to do that.

- Somebody had spray-painted the wall, ceiling and water pipes in my basement with a large diagram that was supposed to depict the history of sexually transmitted diseases throughout history.

- I told my dad a made-up story about how I smoked crack with some hooker at Grand Central Station.

:?:?:?
 
I watched a documentary about African cannibal tribes a while back, and it decided to manifest itself in last night's dream for some reason.

- I was in the jungles of mid/northern Africa (which connected to Quebec, Canada somehow) and the country was ruled under martial law by a violent tribe. They were killing people with lead pipes and eating their organs raw, including their brains. I knew that I had to participate in this or else suffer the same fate, but I managed to survive by helping them without actually hurting anyone.

I had some Canadian paper money and offered to buy them food from a convenience store if they allowed me to cross the border. We were at war with Canada so I had to deal with their military as well, but I was much more afraid of the cannibals.

They had recruited an American female nurse who lured people in to be slaughtered. She was joking around about it in a matter-of-fact way and it really creeped me out. They displayed the head of one woman on a fence post who had been decapitated for allegedly cheating on her husband.

I had to eat someone's liver (raw, of course) and almost got murdered for grabbing a napkin without asking permission. The cannibals spoke surprisingly good English, so I apologized profusely and explained that I didn't know anything about their customs. I assured them that I wouldn't make the same mistake again.

They were also hunting and eating bugs, dogs and anything else that they could get their hands on. The only thing that I actually enjoyed was some kind of flaky white fish that they cooked in lemon butter.

(What stands out most about this dream were the intense mixed emotions that I felt; I developed a sort of "Stockholm Syndrome" where I started to form a bond with these people out of necessity, even though I was absolutely horrified by the things that they did. My only objective was making it out alive, but it really caused me a lot of inner conflict in the meantime.)
 
(I was reading about the silent film actress Norma Shearer right before bed, which seemed to trigger this dream about the 1992 murder of Shanda Sharer that I remember reading about when it first happened.)

- I was in front of a local bar and the parents of Shanda Sharer lived next door to it. I ended up talking to them in their home and they were still really distraught about her murder. I had known a guy who I suspected of being involved in it somehow (in the dream, not real life) but didn't want to say anything in case I was wrong.

We were hanging out in their kitchen and eating blue cheese out of a Ziploc bag. They wanted me to play one of my songs on keyboard but the mood didn't seem right.

The strip mall where they lived had been built around a pyramid-like structure where some famous woman from history had jumped to her death around the year 2000 B.C.

I went to a convenience store behind the bar and bought a pack of Marlboro reds. I forgot to put my car in park and it ran over the curb after I got out. I got into a tiny one-seat helicopter that was controlled by a joystick and almost crashed trying to take off. I realized that it didn't belong to me and landed it on a nearby sidewalk.

There was also something about a baseball player with cirrhosis of the liver who wrote an autobiography about getting sober after a long struggle with alcohol.
 
It's been a while since I've remembered any dreams. Fucked up sleep schedule, too many drugs, I guess. :\
 
There was nothing really profound about this dream, but it was so vivid and detailed that it's worth mentioning.

- I was shooting a video for something like YouTube with some guy who didn't want to do it because I had pranked him by getting him to eat hot peppers or hot sauce. It was also music-related in some way. I had jars of cannabis on my desk. I recorded myself performing a Who tune ("Who Are You", I think) but couldn't belt out the high notes.

I tried to record it in my living room primitively by overdubbing the tracks onto an old boom box, but my dad gave me a hard time because I was interrupting his TV show. He was watching some comedy where an overweight dude went food shopping at Walmart and said that he wanted an egg with 2 sausages for breakfast. My dad explained to me that it was slang for having a threesome with a girl and two guys.

I had pics/vids on my phone of hanging out with my cousin back in 1991 and doing something embarrassing.

I had been lifting weights and looked really muscular. There was also something about ordering a Subway sandwich with lettuce and tomato.
 
(I've been watching a lot of baseball lately, so it always makes it into my dreams somehow.)

- My father was angry with me about something and wouldn't speak to me. I was helping him sort through baseball cards and vinyl records to separate mine from his. One showed a black player (Willie Stargell, I think) being delivered by caesarian section. There was also a card of George Washington getting bone cancer in his leg operated on.

I was driving around looking for a store to buy groceries at. I found a half-empty pack of Starburst candies that the female cashier charged me half-price for. I also bought a 6-pack of Bud Copper beer. I stopped in a few Asian markets but couldn't find anything new to try.

I had entered some kind of contest where I had to swim under cold water to reach my destination. My mother and female cousin did it and I was worried about them catching hypothermia and/or drowning. I went to Walgreen's to get my Ativan refilled but realized that it was the wrong pharmacy.
 
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(This was one of those dreams that never seemed to end. I think that I felt more exhausted when I woke up than when I went to bed.)

- I threw a party in my kitchen and everybody was making a mess. Some creepy guy who lived next door lost his transistor radio and came looking for it. I think that he had been arrested for stalking his girlfriend in the past. He also either carried a gun or said that he did. Another guy took a poop on the kitchen floor. Some woman that I supposedly knew had died and I had to go identify the body. I walked down to the morgue and charged my old cordless phone to bring with me in case I got lost.

Back at the house I had to clean up countless beer bottles, food containers, etc. It turned into a place where I was working that was a cross between a machine shop, an office and a department store. One guy's kitten pooped on the desk and he tried to clean it off with poop-scented soap!

It was 8am and I had been working straight through the night, plus I had to work the whole next day so I just stayed there. My cousin was the manager but she just sat there watching TV in the breakroom while I worked. I ended up working something like 36 hours straight without a break and I was completely overwhelmed.
 
I'm definitely in one of my "dream cycles". They've been very vivid and emotional lately.

- I took some woman out to dinner (I think that she was a drug addict) but she was just using me. She hooked up with some guy in a hotel room who worked in law enforcement. He threatened to have me arrested for something that I didn't do if I caused any trouble for them. There was blood everywhere and I'm not sure where it came from, but I was afraid of being framed for murder or something.
 
(This dream could've been really cool if it hadn't ended so badly.)

- I was anxious about going to a family gathering and went to the convenience store for beer. All that they had were strange flavors like sour apple that looked disgusting, and a few half-opened cans of Budweiser from the 1970's. Someone there told me that a female friend of mine ran a secret warehouse in their basement that sold not only all types of beer, but also weed and various herbs and drugs.

For some reason I told the "gatekeeper" that I was my friend's son, even though we're almost the same age. In any case, they believed me and let me in. The place was huge, with countless shelves containing every substance that you could possibly dream of ingesting.

As I was looking around, a group of guys with machine guns came in and started shooting everyone. I ran upstairs and out the door as fast as my legs would carry me. It was pitch-black outside so I just kept on running until I reached a wooded area where I knew that I would be safe.

Oh well... I shouldn't have been there anyway! :ROFLMAO:
 
(I can always tell when I have a lot on my mind because my dreams take on a very troubling tone. I haven't had nearly as many enjoyable ones since this whole COVID fiasco started over a year and a half ago. Also, my parents and childhood have been appearing in more and more of them lately. I think that it has something to do with getting older and reflecting back on my life.)

- My mom brought me to a psych ward for an evaluation. It looked like the old stereotypical "lunatic asylum" with patients either locked up or just wandering the halls aimlessly. The therapists seemed just as unstable as the patients; one male doctor kept on yelling and using the "F" word in every other sentence. They brought out old photo albums of myself and my family going back to the 1960's to quiz me on, which really creeped me out.

- I was upset about something and my mom brought out my childhood stuffed kitty toy "Charlie" to comfort me. Instead it made me sadder and I asked her to take it away because I didn't want "him" to see me that way.

- I started to freak out because my computer wasn't working right, then apologized to my mom for losing my temper. She said that my pediatrician had diagnosed me with something equivalent to intermittent explosive disorder when I was a kid, and that she was proud of me for getting it under control.

- My dad had left my mom for a much younger woman and left his job to work at a restaurant with her. He stopped back home to pick up some things but completely ignored me and my mom. I asked her why he wouldn't talk to me but she told me not to mention him. Then I remembered him dying (he passed away a few years ago in real life) and asked her about it, but she got irritated with me again so I just dropped the subject.
 
(This dream took place in a cross between the house where I grew up, my grandfather's old cottage and my ex-fiancee's mom's old place. Sometimes it was more one than the other, but most of the time indistinguishable.)

- I saw something on the news about a baseball player who had something like cerebral palsy, and they showed him on a 1984 Topp's baseball card. I grabbed a notepad and tried to draw a picture of the card for some reason. My dad came in drunk and started screaming at me that I ruined some fancy paper of his, so I frantically showed him that it was just a memo pad. (If you've ever seen "A Bronx Tale" where C begs Sonny to believe that he didn't try to blow up his car... that was the feeling.) My mom said that I should get into therapy to help myself deal with everything I went through growing up.

He went out on the town drinking and asked her for a ride, saying that he would walk home. It became the next day and we still hadn't heard from him. He left a ton of pizza in the refrigerator (sauce/cheese & "Margherita" style to be exact), which was awesome. I also ate a canned hamburger from Japan that wasn't so great. A young Japanese woman was lying on the floor, flirtatiously putting her feet up on my... you know. Yeah, that was nice too.

The bathroom & livingroom flooded and I tried finding dry clothes to put on. I wore Army green shorts with a matching t-shirt, and for some reason these strange athletic shoes/sneakers that came almost up to my knees. I looked in the mirror and saw that I had shaved a big gouge into the hair above my forehead.
 
(Ugh, more stressful dreams about my parents and psych wards. Yippee.) :rolleyes:

- My dad and I were both patients at a psych hospital and he had gone off his meds. He was acting crazy and banging on one of the steel doors. He said that he'd spent all night trying to count something but kept getting stuck at 4 and having to start over because of his OCD. The staff was trying to calm him down but it wasn't helping much. He saw me and relaxed a little, but acted very unsteady and almost drunk. He called me his buddy and gave me a half-hug, half-high five.

Sandra Bullock came through the door carrying a huge painting that she had just purchased. I tried to help her with it but she got really nervous and backed away from me. I realized that I was wearing a hospital gown and that she just saw me as another "mental patient".

(I've never even been inside of a psych hospital, but I've seen enough on TV that it was very realistic.)
 
(This is the only vivid dream that I remember from last week, and man it was vivid!)

- I was working at Walmart and the cash registers were outside in front of the store. Most of them were left unattended and there was loose change all over the ground, which stressed me out because it was my job to oversee everything. I tried to sneak a beer in my car but an ex-employee came by to ask about getting her job back, so I quickly dropped the beer and picked up a bottle of lemon iced tea as a decoy.

They were having a celebrity Whiffle Ball game in the parking lot for charity. Joe & Phil Niekro were pitching and I had to show them how to throw the ball (underhand like in slow-pitch softball), which I thought was hilarious because they were legends of the game. I got a hit and then Reggie Jackson hit a home run with me on base.

I saw that my parents were having their own little Whiffle Ball game next to the celebrity one, so I went over to play with them. Paul McCartney and some guys from Guns 'n' Roses were playing next to us, so I pointed them out to my parents. Some married couple was playing with us and the wife was an alcoholic. She asked her husband to "stand lookout" while she snuck a can of beer and I could tell that it upset him. She said that she started drinking after she was diagnosed with a neurological condition like MS.

I couldn't find my car (I can never find it in dreams!), so I got on a Greyhound bus and it let me off at a nearby diner. I ordered a big rare cheeseburger and the manager dude threw a chunk of it at some unruly customers. I asked for another one, but he said that I'd have to wait because he was going outside to smoke weed with the other guy who worked there. Then he asked me for a light, and I said half-jokingly that I'd forget about the burger if he shared a little of his herb with me.

I ended up taking the bus back to Walmart but it let me off far away from the store. I had to walk across a dirty parking lot and a baby seal kept following me, nuzzling my leg and getting mud all over my khakis!

🦭
 
Last dream I saw was on shrooms. Had fallen asleep cause it was like 3:00 and then for a fucking second I saw a sick flashback to some withdrawal dream about axe murders. The whole room was fucking red and I felt in a way I cant even put to words.

The fuck?
 
(I've had a few pretty intense dreams this past week. Here are the highlights.)

- I took my ex-fiancee to a party where there was all kinds of debauchery going on. People were drunk, puking and peeing all over the place. I had given my ex a $2,500.00 ring and she lost it at the party. The ring ended up being a kitten and I found it in a couch cushion, badly injured. I tried to give it milk out of an eyedropper but it was too sick to drink it and cried like a human baby. (I woke up upset and decided to stay up for the night.)

- I was working at a bookstore and preparing some kind of food (ramen noodle bowl?) out on the sales floor. The microwave was right in the middle of the bookshelves and I was worried about spilling it. Someone from Bluelight was tripping on 2C-E and I was jealous because I had tried a similar compound but didn't feel it. A kitten from my childhood was living there and I couldn't understand how it was still so young and alive. It was very emotional.

- I was somewhere like India but it was an alternate reality that I couldn't escape. I worked at a produce market and the man running it was like a mob boss. He wanted me to do bad things like shoot people and I couldn't bring myself to do it, so I tried shooting myself in the head but it had no effect. That's when I realized that I was trapped there for eternity.

- I had to swim out to an island for an appointment with my therapist. It was sort of like Alcatraz but bigger and longer. A female employee there was the girlfriend or wife of some mob boss and she wanted me to assist him in some crime. He gave me a large bucket of muriatic acid that I assumed was used to dispose of a body. I took it home but didn't intend to use it for anything. I spilled it all over my mother's front yard and tried to explain to her why I had it.
 
30 hours without benzos and I just had almost a same fucking death loop of losing gravity and starting to suffocate to death happen 8-12 Times. Holy shit.
 
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