Sent message early was just saying how strong you are mentally doing a taper must be hard. Like ash said to take some lope for your gastro issues I will ask some of the Punjabi old-timers who take poppy pods for natural remedies for wd that might help you out.You don't seem like the type that wants to take benzos or other meds that can make wd a little more comfortable.
Poppy Seed Tea Withdrawal Is Hell
- Thread starter iamgollum
- Start date
@Yubacity: Thanks--appreciate the support. GI issues aren't horrible yet so trying to hold off on the loop until I need it. Kinda worried that since I'm still drinking the tea, it wouldn't take much to bind me up if I take too much of the loop. I do have some natural Gaba, L-Tyrosine, and 5-htp as well as some heavy duty sleep meds if I need them later. I've went to a sleep specialist and all she did was throw drugs at me--I've got Restoril, Lunestra, Seroquel, Trazedone, as well as Ativan--they definitely put me to sleep but if I took them more than 2 or 3 nights in a row, I become a zombie. I hated the feeling--would rather feel tired than like that. I only tried each one a few nights so I've got a good supply left when the insomnia kicks in which I expect will happen at some point. You're right, I don't want to trade one evil for another, but I'd really like to avoid the agony of last time if I can manage it. So far though I am dealing with the minor WD symptoms--going to drop the dosage tomorrow night so we'll see how that plays out.
@DebbieCombs: I am concerned that going 25% drops each week might be too much, but I would never of guessed I could drop from 2.5lbs/day to 1lb with very little discomfort. I figure if I need to adjust back up I can if severe withdrawal kicks in. You're right I do have time, but I also want to be done with it. The longer I keep using, the greater the chance I fail and start using the tea to get high again. It is really hard to just mix up a little dose instead of a big one. Honestly, there have been a couple of times this week where I seriously thought about just jumping off into CT turkey again--kind of afraid that if the tapering makes quitting too easy I'll just start using again. The hell of CT last time wasn't enough to keep me away from it. Guess recovery/sobriety is more about wanting to stay clean and working at it than trying to teach yourself a lesson with CT. The addict brain can always justify why it's a good idea to get high, I guess.
Keeping the sleep meds for insomnia a good idea and even then use now and again. You remind me a lot of me got a successful business married my high school sweetheart functioned through all my years of addiction no mortgage but somehow that still not enough to satisfy me. The difference between me and you is you seem so much mentally stronger. You will get through this and get better that's when the brain will mess with you that the time you got to be strong. Keep going mate and keep us updated wishing you a good day
yuba,
You are also very mentally strong, don't minimize your own awesome quit, so what if one falters and has to do it again? The point is you did it again, and look at you now, helping and encouraging others, I am SO proud of you.
IAG,
Good luck on the drop tonight, you're doing really well on the taper, I wouldn't worry about not going through all the hell of your ct quit, that was rough last time. I am glad if your quit this time is easier for you. CT is not for the faint of heart, I know, I've done it twice. ; )
You're doing an awesome job IAG, here if you need me.
Hugs,
your friend,
Ash.
You are also very mentally strong, don't minimize your own awesome quit, so what if one falters and has to do it again? The point is you did it again, and look at you now, helping and encouraging others, I am SO proud of you.
IAG,
Good luck on the drop tonight, you're doing really well on the taper, I wouldn't worry about not going through all the hell of your ct quit, that was rough last time. I am glad if your quit this time is easier for you. CT is not for the faint of heart, I know, I've done it twice. ; )
You're doing an awesome job IAG, here if you need me.
Hugs,
your friend,
Ash.
ZaphodBeeblebrox
Bluelighter
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- Aug 8, 2018
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- 51
IamGollum - how?s it going today man? I do think feeling the WDs - not suffering, but not quitting with minor symptoms either - is important to keep you away from the Tea. I know a few times I stopped and had almost no issues for about 5 days, so I figured I could just keep drinking it and quit whenever I wanted with no repercussions. I learned later that was clearly NOT the case lol.
You know you can do this, you?ve done it before. Your taper schedule seems really well thought out and you?re doing a great job sticking to it. I found that on days 1 and 2 of having no tea at all going to the gym and doing some intense workouts helped (also sped up the WDs kicking in) so if you can get outside for a walk, or lift some weights or whatever it?ll be a great boost for your body and you can ride that natural high from the endorphin rush!
I agree on considering the lope when the GI symptoms start, as you know the diarrhea can be really dehydrating and will make you feel worse.
Hope you had a smooth day, keep us posted on your progress. YOU CAN DO IT!
- Honeybadger dont care
You know you can do this, you?ve done it before. Your taper schedule seems really well thought out and you?re doing a great job sticking to it. I found that on days 1 and 2 of having no tea at all going to the gym and doing some intense workouts helped (also sped up the WDs kicking in) so if you can get outside for a walk, or lift some weights or whatever it?ll be a great boost for your body and you can ride that natural high from the endorphin rush!
I agree on considering the lope when the GI symptoms start, as you know the diarrhea can be really dehydrating and will make you feel worse.
Hope you had a smooth day, keep us posted on your progress. YOU CAN DO IT!
- Honeybadger dont care
Thanks everyone for the advice and supportive comments today. Slept pretty good last night but woke up today (yesterday?) (Saturday) around 5:30am feeling rough--probably the worse I've felt all week. Pounding headache, racing heart rate, sweating, anxious--all the great symptoms we know and love. I even noticed the swallowing problems I had when I went cold turkey--such an awful feeling, like my throat is closing in. I did my last dose of 8 oz around 9:00am, but really REALLY wanted to drink a lot more. Even so, that was still earlier than I wanted to drink it, but my wife and I were signed up to volunteer for a local charity and I had to dig deep to find the energy to even show up. And, we got about 8 inches of snow last night so I had to go out and plow the drive as well before we could leave--took everything I had to do that. Anyway, I gave up coffee last year, but it was just one of those days where I really needed a cup so I I had about 10 oz of coffee before I drank the tea. The caffeine and the PST kicked in and the WD symptoms subsided for most of the day. No stomach issues to speak of today which was good.
So, this evening around 7:00pm I mixed up a large batch 4 doses using 6 oz each which would be a 25% drop from my last level. I was really worried that it was not going to do anything and I was going to start feeling even worse than I did this morning, but the opposite happened...I was feeling really high almost like I had done a 2.5lb dose. So much so, that I can't get to sleep at all right now. I suppose I must have just picked up 4 really strong packages of seeds or maybe it was the caffeine in my system amping up effects of the opium. Or, it was a combination of the two on top of the fact I have reduced my usage this week. I don't know but now I'm worried that I've screwed up my plan. I think I am just going to dump the rest of the batch out and mix up a new one to see if that makes a difference in the morning, or I could try diluting it with more water to see if that helps. What pain in the ass....why did I start drinking this shit again? What a fucking idiot.
So, this evening around 7:00pm I mixed up a large batch 4 doses using 6 oz each which would be a 25% drop from my last level. I was really worried that it was not going to do anything and I was going to start feeling even worse than I did this morning, but the opposite happened...I was feeling really high almost like I had done a 2.5lb dose. So much so, that I can't get to sleep at all right now. I suppose I must have just picked up 4 really strong packages of seeds or maybe it was the caffeine in my system amping up effects of the opium. Or, it was a combination of the two on top of the fact I have reduced my usage this week. I don't know but now I'm worried that I've screwed up my plan. I think I am just going to dump the rest of the batch out and mix up a new one to see if that makes a difference in the morning, or I could try diluting it with more water to see if that helps. What pain in the ass....why did I start drinking this shit again? What a fucking idiot.
Early evening Day 8 (Sunday). Since I obviously ended up with a higher dose last night, I decided to skip my morning dose and see what happened. Actually, did not start feeling bad until around mid afternoon and managed to hold out until 8:00pm before drinking anymore PST. I decided to just toss the last batch and mix up a new one since I had no way of knowing how much to dilute it. Figured my chances of getting an "average" dose were better if I just restarted. Anyway, it's only been about 10 minutes since I drank it so still feeling shitty. Should know in the next 30 minutes if it makes a difference.
11:20pm--Quick Update: Well, I definitely have lower strength doses going on now...The 6 oz dose at 8:00pm really did not do much to help the WD symptoms aside from drying up the runny nose/watery eyes. Still feel kinda crappy and it seems to be getting worse. Not sure whether to do another dose or just wait it out until morning and see how bad it gets. I think I'll just go to bed and see if I can catch some sleep. If I wake up feeling horrible, the tea is just a short walk out to the garage, I suppose. I have a big day of meetings tomorrow, so may have to adjust dosage before heading into work so I can function. No sense worrying about it now--just have to see how it goes.
11:20pm--Quick Update: Well, I definitely have lower strength doses going on now...The 6 oz dose at 8:00pm really did not do much to help the WD symptoms aside from drying up the runny nose/watery eyes. Still feel kinda crappy and it seems to be getting worse. Not sure whether to do another dose or just wait it out until morning and see how bad it gets. I think I'll just go to bed and see if I can catch some sleep. If I wake up feeling horrible, the tea is just a short walk out to the garage, I suppose. I have a big day of meetings tomorrow, so may have to adjust dosage before heading into work so I can function. No sense worrying about it now--just have to see how it goes.
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Around 10:30am on Day 9. Last night was a rough one as I expected--tossed and turned all night. No need to give you a list of symptoms since most of you already know...Anyway, drug myself out of bed about 5:30am and laid on the couch for a few hours. My brain was trying to convince me to just go do another dose of the tea, but somehow I have managed to resist it so far and have not had any so far today. I did managed a short work-out but I was not really feeling it today and had to stop. I am tired from lack of sleep and feel physically shitty, but mentally/emotionally I don't feel horrible which seems odd. I have a lunch meeting I need to get ready for, and I am trying to decide whether to take a dose before or just power through and see if I can make it through the day without any opium.
I am really starting to wonder if the taper thing is really worth the hassle. Almost seems like all I am doing is spreading mild/moderate WD over a long period of time rather than just a severe WD over a short period. Starting to think I'd rather just feel horrible for a week or two than kinda-bad for over a month. I think I'll give it another few days and see how it goes before just jumping off into the abyss.
I am really starting to wonder if the taper thing is really worth the hassle. Almost seems like all I am doing is spreading mild/moderate WD over a long period of time rather than just a severe WD over a short period. Starting to think I'd rather just feel horrible for a week or two than kinda-bad for over a month. I think I'll give it another few days and see how it goes before just jumping off into the abyss.
Both times I came off pain management I just jumped, ct, no tapering or comfort meds. I mean, it sucked hard for a week, but when you rip the band aid off you cycle through faster for sure.
See how you feel today, if you're just prolonging it, you don't need to drag this out any more than you have to.
Hope you have as good a day as is possible. ; )
Proud of you. You got this.
Here if you need me,
your friend,
Ash.
See how you feel today, if you're just prolonging it, you don't need to drag this out any more than you have to.
Hope you have as good a day as is possible. ; )
Proud of you. You got this.
Here if you need me,
your friend,
Ash.
Thanks Ashley--you are a hell of a cheerleader! A lot of congestion/watery eyes today along with some gastro issues so decided I'd go ahead and do the 11:30 dose. I thought about just trying some decongestant but last time I did that it really kicked-up the restless legs (no pun intended...). Lunch meeting got moved to 1:00 and I really didn't want to be in WD during it and needed to concentrate. Probably just another lie my monkey is telling me--not sure I am anymore focused on the opium than off it right now. At least--I won't sneeze 57 times in row...although not really feeling the tea yet which makes me think I picked up all weak packages for this batch.
I think what I am going to try is taking all the seeds I have and put it in one huge container, mix them up well, and make batches from that. This way, the weak ones should be mixed with stronger ones and average out better. I think that may help keep the WD symptoms at bay more consistently. Like I said--it was going to be science fair project...
I have made the decision that I am not buying any more of the poppy seeds, however. I have 13 lbs in stock and once it is gone, it's gone--regardless if I make it last through the entire taper or not.
Have a good day, yourself.
I think what I am going to try is taking all the seeds I have and put it in one huge container, mix them up well, and make batches from that. This way, the weak ones should be mixed with stronger ones and average out better. I think that may help keep the WD symptoms at bay more consistently. Like I said--it was going to be science fair project...
I have made the decision that I am not buying any more of the poppy seeds, however. I have 13 lbs in stock and once it is gone, it's gone--regardless if I make it last through the entire taper or not.
Have a good day, yourself.
About 8:00pm on Day 9 of the Taper Experiment, as I've come to call it. I made it through the day with the 6 oz dose from this morning and have not had any since. My legs are achy tonight and I have some congestion and dull headache, but overall I don't feel awful. Mentally/emotionally I feel good and not the psychotic mess I was last time with the CT so that is an improvement, I guess.
I did dump all my seed packages into one large container, shook them up, and made a batch of the poppy seed tea from it so we will see if that effects the strength or not. Seems like it should help keep it more consistent. Also, I'm not sure if it is better to just stay on a dosing schedule or to just wait until the WD's hit and then take a minimum amount to beat them back--it just doesn't seem like a good idea to drink it if I really don't need it since I'm not using it to solely get high. Probably should have did some research on that.
I did dump all my seed packages into one large container, shook them up, and made a batch of the poppy seed tea from it so we will see if that effects the strength or not. Seems like it should help keep it more consistent. Also, I'm not sure if it is better to just stay on a dosing schedule or to just wait until the WD's hit and then take a minimum amount to beat them back--it just doesn't seem like a good idea to drink it if I really don't need it since I'm not using it to solely get high. Probably should have did some research on that.
ZaphodBeeblebrox
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Aug 8, 2018
- Messages
- 51
Glad to see you're sticking to your taper plan! But thinking about it, every time you get mild WD symptoms you drink more (given in very small doses) and I do think at this point you're just avoiding full blown WDs and prolonging the mild/moderate symptoms. I don't know what you have going on in your life and if you're able to function with WDs, but if I were you i'd just jump off the taper at this point. I totally agree with Ash on this one.
As for the 13# you have, get rid of it. You don't have to throw it away necessarily, but maybe sell it on Ebay (get some of that $ back!) or send it to a friends house to hold for you, but get it out of reach. When you do jump off and the tough WDs start to kick in, it'll be a clearer choice as to whether you should dose or not. I really think this is something you should do...
Anyway, you're doing great - keep up the good work! And try to get some exercise/sauna/steam room to speed up the detox process.
- Honeybadger don't care
@ZB: Thanks for the advice/support. You and Ash are probably right (guess when the President of the Galaxy gives you advice, you should take it...). But, I think part of the problem has been the difference in strength between batches and I think I've got that kind of figured out now. Going to give it the rest of the week and stay on a fixed dosing schedule to see if I can keep the WD symptoms down. Honestly, compared to my last cold turkey nightmare it has not been too bad really. Yesterday/today were probably the worst 2 days. I can deal with some moderate physical stuff as long as I can keep my head on straight and emotions under control. The anxiety/depression was such a horrible feeling.
I did a 6 oz dose at 9:00 tonight and it knocked the symptoms down so think I should sleep better tonight. Not really feeling buzzed, high, or even relaxed which is good (seems like an odd sentence for an addict to write...but, you know what I mean).
Totally agree on getting rid of the inventory if I decide to jump off. That was a huge error last time and all it did was mess with me until I did throw it in the trash.
I did a 6 oz dose at 9:00 tonight and it knocked the symptoms down so think I should sleep better tonight. Not really feeling buzzed, high, or even relaxed which is good (seems like an odd sentence for an addict to write...but, you know what I mean).
Totally agree on getting rid of the inventory if I decide to jump off. That was a huge error last time and all it did was mess with me until I did throw it in the trash.
ZaphodBeeblebrox
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Aug 8, 2018
- Messages
- 51
Ha ha! I know it?s hard to resist making a PST infused pan-galactic gargle blaster and flying high like the birds, but in this case (and only rarely) Zaphod is right lol.
6oz is a very very small dose,I bet it?s more helpful as a placebo than the actual opiates are for you right now (unless you?re right and have super super strong seeds).
The anxiety and depression are the worst part of quitting for me too (besides RLS, the devils nightly dance). That?s why I keep pushing exercise. I?ve been reading up on it (as I quit over 4 months ago now and still have transient anxiety and depression) and found that tested in clinical studies (randomized controlled trials (RCTs) and meta-analyses) against all antidepressants on the market (Prozac, Zoloft, bupropion, etc) only 30 minutes of exercise 4 days a week was found to be more effective than any drug for treating depression and anxiety symptoms. So try to hit the gym if you have time!
However, for acute anxiety (especially in the evenings and during the night - I get stress/anxiety dreams when I?m quitting and it?s awful) hydroxyzine is really helpful. If you can get a prescription, but that shouldn?t be an issue as it?s a non addictive anti anxiety medication. Gabapentin also works well for RLS and lifts your overall mood (although that?s anecdotal and the indications are not for psychiatric use) but it?s essy to abuse so that?s something to watch out for :/
Anyway, this isn?t your first rodeo so I?m sure you already know what to do, just thought I?d put my two heads together and share what works for me.
You got this. Keep us posted!
- Honeybadger dont care
Checking in. How was your meeting?
I mean, if you can avoid the quit severity you had last time, and you can control the dose, which since you've combined the batch now, you can. That will help a lot.
You're doing great, ultimately you know yourself better than anyone else.
Also, I remember that your sister was sick, how is she doing now? Better I hope.
I'm proud of you, you're doing what needs to be done, and you're doing a great job of it too. You're very strong. Just think, if you can get through this you can kick anything's ass!! ; )
If and when you jump, run those devil seeds out to the curb again like the champion you are and always will be IAG!!! And before you know it you'll be free from the 800 lb gorilla on your back. ; )
Feel free to pm me if you want.
Love and support,
your friend,
Ash.
I mean, if you can avoid the quit severity you had last time, and you can control the dose, which since you've combined the batch now, you can. That will help a lot.
You're doing great, ultimately you know yourself better than anyone else.
Also, I remember that your sister was sick, how is she doing now? Better I hope.
I'm proud of you, you're doing what needs to be done, and you're doing a great job of it too. You're very strong. Just think, if you can get through this you can kick anything's ass!! ; )
If and when you jump, run those devil seeds out to the curb again like the champion you are and always will be IAG!!! And before you know it you'll be free from the 800 lb gorilla on your back. ; )
Feel free to pm me if you want.
Love and support,
your friend,
Ash.
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Thanks Ash--The meeting was...meeting-like. The weak 6 oz dose from yesterday morning never really did much, so I wasn't feeling great but I made it through.
However, I think I have got the dosing strength under control now by combining many packages of seeds into one big container. The dose at 9:00pm last night took care of the WD and I was able to mostly sleep through the night and woke up around 6:00am feeling pretty good aside from a mild headache and some congestion. Did another 6 oz at 11:00am and not really feeling anything one way or another (not high or WD symptoms) so I think I am back on track with the taper plan. As long as I can maintain this equilibrium I think I'll keep tapering down.
As ZB mentioned above, part of it may be just a placebo effect but I'm not sure that really matters if my goal is to keep WD in check so I can function until I jump off. If my brain wants to convince itself that the weak doses are working, then dream on I guess.
My sister is not doing well and I don't want to think about that. Thank you for asking, though.
However, I think I have got the dosing strength under control now by combining many packages of seeds into one big container. The dose at 9:00pm last night took care of the WD and I was able to mostly sleep through the night and woke up around 6:00am feeling pretty good aside from a mild headache and some congestion. Did another 6 oz at 11:00am and not really feeling anything one way or another (not high or WD symptoms) so I think I am back on track with the taper plan. As long as I can maintain this equilibrium I think I'll keep tapering down.
As ZB mentioned above, part of it may be just a placebo effect but I'm not sure that really matters if my goal is to keep WD in check so I can function until I jump off. If my brain wants to convince itself that the weak doses are working, then dream on I guess.
My sister is not doing well and I don't want to think about that. Thank you for asking, though.
@CfZrx: My advice to you is to stay as far away from poppy seed tea as possible. It can't be controlled--it will take over your life in all the worst ways. The withdrawal is long and hellish. Believe me, I know. I have been in some really tough spots during my 55 years of life, and never have I ever thought I was actually going to die until I went cold turkey from the seeds. Read through my thread before you decide to try it.