I'd do anything to be thin

I'm so unhappy with my weight that i'd do ANYTHING to be thin again. I'm female 24yrs old and weigh 59kg (127lbs) and am 163cm (5'4). I used to be really thin and was very happy then. For me, happiness = thinness. I don't care what other people say, i'm old enough to know exactly what makes me happy.

I used to be about 44kgs i got into binge eating when i was put on antidepressants and my weight skyrocketed. Since then i've given up all my hobbies and all the things i love, and have no friends. I have a boyfriend but he's threatening to leave me if i don't become slim and lose at least 10kgs. Every time i see a thin girl i am consumed with black, bitter hatred and jealousy. I've stopped watching tv, reading magazines, and leaving my house in order to avoid seeing thin, beautiful girls.

I have tried everything to be thin. I've been on speed, smoked ice, and shot heroin. I've tried exercising, smoking ciggarettes, going to the gym, having a personal trainer etc and i'm STILL FAT AND UGLY. Even when i'm not bingeing.

In short, if i don't lose weight then I simply don't want to live. Can someone suggest something to help me?? Please don't waste my time by telling me to accept being fat because I won't listen. I'll do ANYTHING and i mean ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING to be thin again, i don't really care if it's dangerous or not.

(1) you do need to find other sources of self-acceptance. become aware that YOu are not your BODY.

(2) Ditch your immature and/or selfish boyfriend. If he can't help you become confident in who you are, then who can?

(3) You are what you eat. And if you just eat fruit and veg (prepared low fat) and keep protein intake limited to daytime and carbs to evening (especially important to separate proteins and carbs, never in the same meal) and you quit all alcohol and you start having lots of low-fat low-salt soups with carrot and pumpkin and tomatoes... you should lose weight. And tasty salads. Use cold pressed oils on that so you still get your fatty acids. Low fat is not what makes a person thin, it's more complicated than that - you need good fats, and in any case sugars can be converted into fat by the body, so watch the sugar intake ... and don't eat for up to 3-4 hrs before you go to bed. Maybe soem fruit if you feellow blood sugar come on....

Used in slimming are also the folloewing: chitosan and other forms of non-soluble dietary fibre, artichoke, celery, white cabbage. Basically you can eat anything that is nutritious and doesn't have "empty calories". I'm a healthfreak (but a very skinny one) and I avoid white bread and white pasta and basically anything unwholesome... go for wholemeal with all those things, cos it'll fill u up a lot more and contains lots of fibre, which will help keep you thin, too. One fibrous supplement that manypeople use is psyllium husks... generalyl just to keep constipation at bay and to detox, but it'll fill you up so much, have some of that dissolved in water everytime you get the munchies and you'll lose all feelings of hunger.

Then there's a herb called Hoodia Gordini, which is said to be amazing for slimming, never tried it though, so I can't say.
And Pu-Erh tea... Oolong tea also helps with fat metabolism and thus with slimming.

If you'd do anything, literally, then liposuction is surely a temporarily effective method, but if you don't change your lifestyle, the weight/size will be back in noext to no time.

Then there's diet pills.... fenfluramine and the like (baaaaaad, imho). 5-htp >(natural antidepressant) has appetite suppresant properties.

What antidepressant do you use? I used to use mirtazapine and that increased my appetite heaps and I gained about 10% body weight.... fluoxetine actually stabilised my weight.... maybe I even lost a little.

Clearly, you are what you eat, so diet is the key, methinks. Though metabolism may also be involved.... do you have an underactive thyroid gland? If yes, that could be the reason.... look into iodine supplementation (can be found in spirulina, for instance).


Finally.... I have done a few fasts in order to detox (with colonics, etc.) ... plenty people who went there lost heaps of weight. I don't think it's the best way to lose it, and it will come back uinless you change your diet/lifestyle... but it will get teh weight off in no time... I lost 8kg in 10 days, went down to 56kg!! (175cm tall, male)... so there! The heavier you start out, the more you can lose, I have no doubt. I'm still skinny at a stable 62kg now... just my metabolism I guess, but also my diet (which I follow for health/energy/detox reasons rather than weight) - surely without such a diet I'd be heavier.

Good luck.

step1: lose the boyfriend

5'4 and 127 lbs is NOT overweight by any means. I'm 5'2 and a half and at my thinnest I would fluctuate from 115-130 pounds...so you can imagine how I am at my HEAVIEST (lol, which im not saying here.)

I used to be really thin and was very happy then. For me, happiness = thinness. I don't care what other people say, i'm old enough to know exactly what makes me happy.

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Yes, I know exactly how you feel too....but I would expect somebody who probably weighed 160 lbs or more at your height to make the post you did, not someone at your height/weight which is not really "obese" if you know what I mean. But yes I understand that YOU think you are fat....and i empathize as I've been down that road many times before and up till now.
All I can tell you is this : Shortcuts dont work in the long run. Shortcuts may be drugs, crash diets, etc. You need a good food plan to suit YOUR body and nutritional needs and consistent aerobic exercise....I emphasize consistent. Rebound weight is the hardest to shed I can assure you....I used to be quite fit in my early to mid 20s, and I took it for granted that I could easily lose weight after "binges" with drugs and a few days of exercise. I've learned my lesson since then and I'm paying for it now that I've finally realized that there are no shortcuts to permanent weightloss that stays OFF other than eating right and exercising forever. I think with a little discipline and consistency it will be easy for you to lose weight......dont make the mistake of waiting till you're in your 30s and your metabolism has done a 360 degree like it has with many women I know (including myself.)

Ximots post above is very helpful, and if you do a bit of a search around this forum there are a couple of weight loss threads that may be able to help you as well.
Weight Loss Thread
Why am I not losing weight?
Need to lose 24 lbs Asap

And yes I agree...that boyfriend isnt worth it. I used to have a boyfriend who wouldnt TOUCH me if I had a slightly bigger paunch than usual....that episode in my life definitely affected me for a long time to come and now I cant imagine being with such a loser lol.

Do you not eat properly or do you get binge eating attacks? If so, you may be displaying symptoms of anorexia or bulimia, for which you may want to get professional help in order to address isses of self-esteem and such.

And follow the advice everyone seems to be agreeing on: don't put up with a boyfriend who's bullying you.

Oh, and when I say "you are what you eat" I don't mean that you should NOT eat. If you eat the right foods you can eat as much as you like...

clip' said:

step1: lose the boyfriend

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I agree. You need love and support to help you lose weight, not asshole-ish threats.

The best way to lose weight is slowly, like a pound or two a week. If you lose it all at once and in an unhealthy way, it all will come back. So start by making over the self hating attitude, and then work out hard! Eat right, and concentrate on building muscle, which boosts metabolism.

Good Luck.

crystalcallas said:

5'4 and 127 lbs is NOT overweight by any means. I'm 5'2 and a half and at my thinnest I would fluctuate from 115-130 pounds...so you can imagine how I am at my HEAVIEST (lol, which im not saying here.)

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Just wanted to point out that different people carry weight differently. Im 5'7'', for example, and if I get over 115 pounds, I start showing the weight. As in, I have a big gut and start getting cellulite..this doesnt mean 115 pounds is obese, but because of my tiny bone structure, I look my best at about 110 pounds (and I eat plenty too, so dont think I have an eating disorder or anything, my body frame just cant carry a lot of weight). So for her, maybe 5'4'' and 127 feels huge while that could honestly be skinny on a bigger boned girl.

aww. my personal tastes are for woman that look healthy not anerexic, but if you are really unhappy then by all means cut down on your carb/fats intake and start hitting the treadmill or bike path or w/e you preffered method is. I certainly agree with the ximot, its rather unfortunate that you fell in the the commercially pushed image of beauty, but such is the trap set for young girls in our modern world. i hope you are able to become happy with yourself regardless of how you look, unfortunately you wont be young forever, so eventually you'll have to deal with the fact that you dont look like a barbie doll anymore, g/l.

Do NOT go the diet pill route. I did that and it's just soooo tough on your body (the ones with ephedra I mean, the others dont work so dont waste your money). Plus, it's a downhill route because you develop a tolerance VERY quickly (within days) and it can result in yo-yo dieting/weight changes.

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Excellent advice. Think Requiem for a Dream.

Nihilist said:

I'm so unhappy with my weight that i'd do ANYTHING to be thin again. I'm female 24yrs old and weigh 59kg (127lbs) and am 163cm (5'4). .

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What the fuck? You ARE thin. I don't admit this readily here but I'm exactly your height and I weigh 73kg currently. I fit into a size 12, and I feel great. Look at my picture gallery. Do I look fat?

I can't even contemplate how I'd look at 59kg - probably terrific , but coming from my perspective now, I see that weight as quite thin - my goal is 64kg.

I know you don't WANT to hear this, but I don't give a fuck. I seriously think you have body image issues; especially if you think you're going to "die" if you stay at the weight you are. Furthermore, I'm ridiculously dissapointed in the responses so far where people have tried to fuel your obsessive self-hate by giving you further weight loss tips. Shame on you all.

Your weight is FINE. In fact, you are at the lower end of the healthy weight scale for your height (the minimum is 54kg), and you need to get some serious perspective. If you cannot see that, it may be time to get some help.

I know you'll ignore this but hey, I'll sleep better at night having said it.

^ what she said.

MynameisnotDeja said:

Just wanted to point out that different people carry weight differently. Im 5'7'', for example, and if I get over 115 pounds, I start showing the weight. As in, I have a big gut and start getting cellulite..this doesnt mean 115 pounds is obese, but because of my tiny bone structure, I look my best at about 110 pounds (and I eat plenty too, so dont think I have an eating disorder or anything, my body frame just cant carry a lot of weight). So for her, maybe 5'4'' and 127 feels huge while that could honestly be skinny on a bigger boned girl.

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Of course I know this. But the way she was saying it was like it was the end of the world and she would NEVER be thin no matter what she did which seemed kind of exaggerated....I have to agree with everything SLM said :

What the fuck? You ARE thin. I don't admit this readily here but I'm exactly your height and I weigh 73kg currently. I fit into a size 12, and I feel great. Look at my picture gallery. Do I look fat?

I can't even contemplate how I'd look at 59kg - probably terrific , but coming from my perspective now, I see that weight as quite thin - my goal is 64kg.

I know you don't WANT to hear this, but I don't give a fuck. I seriously think you have body image issues; especially if you think you're going to "die" if you stay at the weight you are. Furthermore, I'm ridiculously dissapointed in the responses so far where people have tried to fuel your obsessive self-hate by giving you further weight loss tips. Shame on you all.

Your weight is FINE. In fact, you are at the lower end of the healthy weight scale for your height (the minimum is 54kg), and you need to get some serious perspective. If you cannot see that, it may be time to get some help.

I know you'll ignore this but hey, I'll sleep better at night having said it.

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Me too. I may have given her practical reason and tips to lose the weight she desperately wants to but not after calling her out on not being obese to begin with anyway. She knows what will make her happy and what she should do anyway to achieve that. At times when I felt fat myself, a lot of my friends would tell me no you're not fat STFU but you know ....I felt it. And I was FAR from thin, I was never really truly thin my whole life (which is ok with me, I know I look better with a bit of extra weight everywhere! This probably is why I empathize a lot more with posts such as this one even if not everybody can understand. But jeez when I was at the current weight she is complaining about I was pretty damn fit

PS and i reiterate to the original poster:

1. Dump the boyfriend he isnt helping you at all with your poor body image
and will continue to make it worse if you stay with him
2. You arent as heavy as you think you are, you're actually FINE
3. But if you're not happy with yourself, you know what to do about it. I'm not going to tell you to be happy , quit moaning about your size, etc because its your body and YOU know being thin makes you happy. (if you were like an 80 pound Nicole Richie you bet I wouldnt be telling you this either and that would be another topic altogether....)
4. So quit moaning, get a nutrition plan and start exercising if you really want it that bad.

People need to get over this idea that they must imitate the body image or personalities of celebrities. The loss of individuality that occurs with this is really reflective of the sad state many people spend their lives living in; constantly trying to appease others while simultaneously shredding any sense of uniqueness they may have of themselves. Get over it. Being really thin increases your risk of osteoperosis and other diseases and besides, most guys can agree that they don't like rail-thin girls anyway, especially thin girls that obsess over that. I mean, do your REALLY want to spend your entire existence on this planet in an obsessive state over how you look? What a waste. Just be yourself. We're all unique.

Can anyone say...eeeeeeeaaaating disorderrrrrr


Girl, youll kill yourself tryina get there.

And you wont take no for an answer.


Ive heard that before. "I know what I want. I dont care what anyone says. I dont care if its healthy. I know what makes me happy. All I want is to be happy."

The secret is, once you get there, you still won't be happy.



Everyone else has took care of the healthy advice so i'll spare you that.

You know what youre doing. think about it before you take it too far.

i known too many people who liked the idea of leaving a skinny corpse if thats what they had to do to get there.

maybe you are thin enough but you need some muscle tone? I found that when i lost a lot of weight through dancing all weekend and taking a lot of drugs for a few months (only on the weekend) I fit into smaller clothes but i still looked "fat" in the mirror, it was because i had no muscle tone/definition. so maybe that's the way to go... do some sit-ups, some weights etc.. it might make you feel better about yourself.

i'd be throwing out the scales though sunshine, the correlation between weight and size is not an exact science... muscle weighs more than fat and then there's bone density etc.. all kinds of contributors. Obviously you're more concerned with how you LOOK, so get rid of the scales... they may be making you put unneccessary pressure on yourself.

You are taller than me and you weigh less, like SLM says, that should make you a 12.... quit complaining.

As for the boyfriend thing, everyone may be being a little harsh on him, since we don't have the full story. He may have said something like "if you want to loose weight then do it, quit complaining about it or i'll dump you" or, he may be a cunt.

have you considered that perhaps you can't loose weight even with all that effort because you don't NEED to loose it? the closer you get to your ideal weight the harder it is to loose... so maybe you are at a healthy weight and your body is refusing to get unhealthily thin... just a thought.

I am also 5'7, and like CC I won't say my weight, but I am not overweight by any medical chart, my blood pressure is WAY below normal (weird, because I am a high maintenance stressball), my cholesterol is 150, and I have awesome hair and nails and skin.

My body type is hourglass, I am not a waif.

I used to weigh a lot less when I was in high school but my nails broke a lot. I gained the usual freshman 10 my first year of college. All of a sudden my nails stopped breaking. My hair grew faster. I felt healthier. I am lazy occasionally but in general I am active, and I am certainly not sedentary.

Nihilist - Why are you so hostile toward yourself. If you are an active person who does not lead a sedentary lifestyle, your weight will seek its own level. But please don't beat yourself up in the meantime. Get rid of your hatred toward people in general.

I say this lovingly, but get the fuck over yourself. You will only become attractive when you do. I'd rather have a fat friend with a good disposition than a skinny friend with a shitty attitude. And I would rather be fat than beat myself up the way you do.

mariposa420 said:

I say this lovingly, but get the fuck over yourself. You will only become attractive when you do. I'd rather have a fat friend with a good disposition than a skinny friend with a shitty attitude. And I would rather be fat than beat myself up the way you do.

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So true.



I would rather my gf have a slight pouch and chow down on pizza with me than nibble and be all, "oh my Gawd, I am goign to be so fat!"

To take nihilist's side for a second. She may look fat because she has no boobs and she carries fat horrible. Although, even at thoose numbers I doubt it looks that bad. If you have a nice chest than, please, don't fret over the weight. I, among many men, much perfer an hour glass to an anorexic.

Even if you don't have a nice chest, don't fret because it leads to binge eating.
I noticed that I lost the most weight when I really didn't care if I lost it. Or on Atkins. But that diet isn't for everyone and its certainly not for you. I was obese when I did it. You are by far not obese.


STUFF YOU NIHILIST WILL LIKE TO HEAR: (all caps to grab attention)
I hated myself when I was fat. And I'm a guy. I currently am not happy with my recent weight gain due to my new found fondness for cheesesteak sandwiches and fried dumplings. Its okay to acknowledge dissatisfaction at how you look, just don't take it over board as you won't lose the weight as quickly. Also, learn to like yourself before you lose that weight so that after you lose the weight you won't go over board and nearly be admitted to a ED hospital.

I just skimmed what others have said about how to lose weight as I need to go to class, but I would say follow them they sound good. And drink water. Lots and Lots of water. Perhaps switch anti-depressants too if its that important to you. But according to some people that is hell. I never noticed a difference when I "withdrew" other than an odd heart every fifth day, than I would pop a daily dose and I was fine. I did it basically cold turkey (btw, I have heard this is very very stupid, so don't do it).

Oh, and lose the loser

Guys don't care about svelt as much as women. Please leave your boyfriend if he's contributing to your negative decisions, if you want what's best for you.

I want to gain more weight, skinny guys arent attractive to girls anymore.....