hmm 230am I did sleep last night at 6am complete perfect sleep as soon as I laid down to end the 5 day madness it all seemed to be one day like everything that happened was all just one day it wasn't good my mind was exploding slept till 2pm
and then I smoked, tomorrow should be great a ball or two,this is all normal when you are with other tweakers and more is what will fix things and it's something to do,the whole finding or waiting,then when it happens,the happiness
I realized that I was comparing two different life styles or something last night and this is a way of living and now it's okay time goes faster for us and we might not be involved with "life" and pass up the "simple things in life that make you happy" but there is another life we live in and it's great here and this is real family the house home sweet home and if you lived there you'll be home too and everything else is second. bolt up- the doors and watch the outside and not just any body enters, but I was blessed I found the center,I found the family I always wanted.happy.
I did not spend time at my "house" for fathers day cuz I stayed at the house helped make another "dad" have a little better day
Yeah I realized that I always write uh I don't know if it's first or third person whatever writting and it doesn't make sense
and this whole entire thing doesn't make sense looking at it it's like "uhhh what?" but i'm not alone i'm part of a family not at real home where it's just me hm perhaps that helps and maybe that's why the post last night cuz this night I think different
okay I don't make sense and i'm not making things any better to understand I'm living in two different worlds or something I don't know completely out of touch with reality but not really but maybe it seems okay normal though but you might think it's bad like you might see the huge problem and realize the whole entire family needs help but I don't see it whatever though. I have said too much and in the house of secrets what happens here stays here and I'm going to lock myself in now and I'm done and so I'm just going to sleep now and we'll see what happens tomorrow. not here though bluelight isn't home anymore and this doesn't seem right it's time for silence my life here is about to be put on hold and if i ever get out I will look back here and remember why I left here but I guess I have to just get away so I guess I'm moving from this home and going to the house of secrets to be locked away but I will come visit some day you know just to say hi see how bluelight is doing and how i'm doing so for a usual bye "take care best wishes I will miss this place"
*moves to the house of secrets*