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Your status as a drug user in real life?

When I moved into my current place, I tiptoed around the topic, only to find out we have an E-tard, a Coke-head, a Speedfreak aaaaaand: myself.
In a typical Alpha-Male exhibition - I was challenged to drink EtOH until someone passed out. My, undisclosed, daily GABA-ergic use resulted in my tolerance preventing the copious volume of Vodka from inebriating myself.
Soon, out came the drugs.

11 days I struggle to remember, except that I now hold a few pseudonyms, some I'd rather not have associated with me (Pac-Man, Drug Hipster, Dyson, PeZ... yeah, *__* ).

Most people assume I'm sober, or an eccentric stoner - better than the Base/Tweak/Junk fiend....
 
For me, skeezy = acting like a moral-free dope fiend.

I've been more fiendish than I should be. Begging for dope. Pawning things. I even let someone take my $200 laptop for $60; desperation for dope money's always taking new heights.

My iPod - 9g of Gold Leaf Tobacco and 800g of poppy seeds....
 
We are all a little skeezy, I'm suprised my parents even let me stay in the house after the stuff I've done... I don't have to beg anymore because of the Subs, but I've pawned ALL my posssessions(still got a bed and dresser for my cloethes though) but thats all I have. I mean I'm doing better but I was thinking one day and I have litterally stolen from EVERYBODY I know in my family, EVERYBODY(Aunts,Uncles,Cousins,Parents,friends,Friends parents. Mostly pills,s but cash also, pawned their items, still feel bad about this, it's had to have been 3 years, but went to my aunts for christmast, went into the med cabinet saw a bottle of 7.5 norcos and just dumped a pile of em in my hand because I was sick and didn't have anything any it was christmas, could have just gotten enough to say well but took the bottle pretty much,still feel REALLY bad about that(it ended up being a little over 30 of them ate them in 4 hours and had a good day) I miss having things..now if I could just get my shit complety together I would have things, but it never seems to happen, always go off my Subs. Hell, went back into old school mode today, someone called me that had some 15's, and I only have 6 bucks to my name till I get paid next week so I started going through the house looking for something I could pawn, but, well I pawned it all already.
 
Bro anyone's head would be screaming at them on your path. It's easy to say pick the pieces and get with it but I know what your dealing with as far as the addiction but the thievery its a lose lose scene that takes away a lot of backup you could get from family and friends. It'll take time to get things right but it can be done, apply yourself because you can get your shit completely together. Good luck man.
 
Oh thank you, I'm fine with em, I don't even know if they know I did it(well my parents know about the thievery I did from them but are relationship is okay now too,to an extent) because nothing was ever said and they are always happy to see me, which makes me feel worse. One day at a time I guese, some are good and some I just end up caving in to goin and gettin some kind of opiate, always try to tell myself your gonna reget this it's gonna take all your money, but my mind just goes on autopiolt and I just start making calls scoring something. Proud to say though the days of running up 800 bills with people for Oxy/Norcos/Morphine/Dillies are loooong gone though. I was able to keep a job during that period somehow, but I would litterally just go to my dealers house and give him my whole pay check when I got it, that way I could just go over whenever and they would give me what ever, and put the rest on a bill. But ya, glad those days are gone, just occasional relaspes now, really wish there was a methadone clinic closer here, really think it would be better for me than Subs, it's just too easy to cheat with Subs....
 
Yea bro the "Rock and the hard place". Well at least you don't have to deal with indignity from the majority of friends an family tho you sure as hell might be pissing off a dealer or two but there usually cool as long as the bucks keep coming no matter how late. They can't cause grief to there buyers or no business, $800, damn never got that respect before $200 and I pushed my limits. You have no physical pain that can be a way out of the money train, you in the caboose? You sound intelligent bro, keep at it, avoid the sticky fingers because that five finger discount can put you in the calaboose, lol.
 
Quite a few people know. I don't randomly go talking about my drug use to strangers or anything but if they ask i'll be straight up with them.
 
It was only one guy that I had the 800 thing with thanfully, but I was always bringing him money...i was a constant cash machine, over there all the time...honeslty I really miss doing that, I miss riding around looking for some opiates, hangin around the dealers place and bullshiting with them and talking to the people that would come through, I miss shooting. I could go back to that so easy, and I know that sounds fucked up I just miss it...hell even when I didn't have pills I never got sick I would just eat a bottle of loperamide,which would work suprisingly well I getting rid of w/d's, but that stuff acutally RAISED my tolerace, if I had taken like 100mg of Loperamide, I would have to wait till the next day to really feel the pills, espcially if I wanted a rush from them..one thing I don't miss though is going into the same store all the time buy boxes and boxes of anti-diaraehal pills,enough to last me a week when things were completely dry...ugh.
 
One a handful of people know and I'd rather keep it that way (4, actually, but they're also drug users)
others just assume I do drugs because of my style/personality but I dgaf about those
 
For the past two years, I've used illegal drugs sporadically. But even before that, I was never a frequent illegal drug user so people don't remember me too much for that.

I've always been the town drunk though. My manic, loud behavior while on the influence of alcohol was very much spoken of, since the first year of high school. In the last 3 years or so though I became a much quieter drunk.

Even then, when I tell my close friends the REAL amount of booze I put away this past 3 years, I feel like they don't really believe it.
 
Everyone in my life I know that knows me knows I use drugs. They do not however know how much drugs I actually use. In my opinion I am heavy into benzos, alcohol, weed, and mxe. People wouldn't know though unless they asked me and I was being honest. For the amount I use I still tend to kick ass in life at least most of the time in my opinion...imagine what I could be without drugs right? Scenario would flip to the point where these two separate lives would be irrelevant to one another. Its been almost fifteen years. I wouldn't be me without the experiences I have been through so who knows. Maybe I would have been a professional soccer player O.O
 
I am the corporate employee that no one has any idea uses whatever whenever. My family used to know but now that I am ballin' tough they either turn a blind eye or I have gotten really good at not being wasted all the time.
 
I'm on 2 days sober, but I'm a polysubstance abuser. I live with my mom currently but she only knows I've been using kratom. My dad knows I've struggled with meth, but doesn't know to what extent, and my friends know I've been using but also not to much extent. My favorite drugs are oxycontin, xanax, morphine, meth (iv and smoked), heroin(iv) and kratom. I'm an avid user of potentiators as well. For example, whenever I take oxycontin I always take between 80-160 mg of oxycontin (OPs) with 100mg hydroxyzine, 100mg diphenhydramine, 2 mg alprazolam, 3gs Valerian root and I smoke lots of weed on top of this. Usually with white grapefruit juice. With meth I only smoke weed and drink lots of water or beer. Obviously it depends on what I have but the "main drugs" I find shit to potentiate them.

I'm quitting though now because I get physical withdrawals if I don't take opioids and meth crashes make me want to put a bullet in my head and give me psychosis that I've yet to read anyone else having anything like it. The hallucinations are so intense that its like something from a fantasy movie. Can't imagine that's a good sign. Sometimes ya gotta know when enough is enough.
 
They know that I smoke weed and pop pills on occasion, and are tolerant of both facts (hell my parents smoke weed) but they definitely don't know the full extent of it.

I keep my drug use non problematic enough that its pretty easy to hide it from people. Especially with a decent job.
 
Whole family knows i have an history of opiate problems olny my parents my siblings and a cousin know i've shot up olny parents and siblings know im still using heroin although they think ive stopped shooting up which i haven't
 
Most of my family and friends are aware that I am a drug addict and are under the assumption that I am clean, when in fact I have been shooting up meth 1-2 times per week for the past 8 weeks. I had relocated to AZ for a change of environment, away from my hometown where I could start fresh and open a new chapter of my life, but family tensions and loose ends brought me back. On March 18th I will be boarding a bus from UT to AZ jn another attempt to rebuild my life after I, yet again, allowed my addiction to to spiral out of control and ruin what I had built.
 
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