Hi,
Ok guys, I know this may sound rather unusual, but I married a woman who has difficulties with intercourse. I know, what was I thinking? Well, I love her as a person. I thought we'd work it out as we were both virgins, and I believed sex should not be a priority. It's not any arranged marriage, it was just kind of like - what do we have to lose? And we kind of had to do that as we lived in different countries. And I had to learn a 3rd language, which I'm still not that good at because it's one of the hardest... Anyway, the point is, she suffers a lot of pain during intercourse and we don't understand why. Sometimes it went great and completely pain-free, but at some point the pain got so extreme that she couldn't do it anymore. We've tried every possible way, lubes and toys, went to several doctors until the last one finally diagnosed her with vulvodynia and prescribed some painkillers , but those didn't change a thing. However, the real cause was suggested that it's because she's been on birth control the whole time. After some discussion, she did agree to quit the pill but I'm still kind of skeptical as it could take a looong time to actually recover from it, if that was even the real cause.
I started getting thoughts that, perhaps, we are simply not meant to be? She's a very small woman and I'm a small guy, but my size down there is quite average. What if some bodies just don't go so well together? Not to mention, my sex drive is rather high compared to hers and because of it I'm addicted to porn. When she's not home, I could masturbate around 5 times daily. Although we did come to a compromise that she does take care of me and I take care of her in other ways, but I really need intercourse too... She begs me to not give up on her and stay because she suspects I might be thinking of leaving. We have a great relationship otherwise, just sex is quite an issue. We have no kids, nor do we want to.. but I am still in a tough spot. I got into a local university thanks to her, and I also kind of invested into this life here. We're both getting a lot out of this actually, I have helped her get her life on track and we both got scholarships. If I quit it all, I would also lose everything...
Not sure what am I even asking here, but this is tricky . I keep reading and hearing of couples who have great sex daily and I become extremely jealous. I would have loved that too, and it may even be possible in the future as my wife is determined to fix this issue. But what if she simply can't despite all the efforts? Am I a horrible person for considering a divorce just because of this?
Ok guys, I know this may sound rather unusual, but I married a woman who has difficulties with intercourse. I know, what was I thinking? Well, I love her as a person. I thought we'd work it out as we were both virgins, and I believed sex should not be a priority. It's not any arranged marriage, it was just kind of like - what do we have to lose? And we kind of had to do that as we lived in different countries. And I had to learn a 3rd language, which I'm still not that good at because it's one of the hardest... Anyway, the point is, she suffers a lot of pain during intercourse and we don't understand why. Sometimes it went great and completely pain-free, but at some point the pain got so extreme that she couldn't do it anymore. We've tried every possible way, lubes and toys, went to several doctors until the last one finally diagnosed her with vulvodynia and prescribed some painkillers , but those didn't change a thing. However, the real cause was suggested that it's because she's been on birth control the whole time. After some discussion, she did agree to quit the pill but I'm still kind of skeptical as it could take a looong time to actually recover from it, if that was even the real cause.
I started getting thoughts that, perhaps, we are simply not meant to be? She's a very small woman and I'm a small guy, but my size down there is quite average. What if some bodies just don't go so well together? Not to mention, my sex drive is rather high compared to hers and because of it I'm addicted to porn. When she's not home, I could masturbate around 5 times daily. Although we did come to a compromise that she does take care of me and I take care of her in other ways, but I really need intercourse too... She begs me to not give up on her and stay because she suspects I might be thinking of leaving. We have a great relationship otherwise, just sex is quite an issue. We have no kids, nor do we want to.. but I am still in a tough spot. I got into a local university thanks to her, and I also kind of invested into this life here. We're both getting a lot out of this actually, I have helped her get her life on track and we both got scholarships. If I quit it all, I would also lose everything...
Not sure what am I even asking here, but this is tricky . I keep reading and hearing of couples who have great sex daily and I become extremely jealous. I would have loved that too, and it may even be possible in the future as my wife is determined to fix this issue. But what if she simply can't despite all the efforts? Am I a horrible person for considering a divorce just because of this?