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You might be a junkie if... v. Ridin' the vein train

deficiT said:
Sounds about right and next up is cotton fever
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I've been lucky enough to have only gotten cotton fever once ever in my 7 (on and off) years of banging. I try my best to be as clean as possible about it.
Like, when I threw it away, I tossed it all in it's own bag, so it didnt get all mixed up with my other garbage. And i am very generous with my alcohol swab use. I also try to have my cookers with cottons dry out asap, so that they are less likely to grow mold.
The one time I did get cotton fever, I had done a wash shot from some cottons that had been mixed up in my other garbage and had been a few days old. Nowadays if I have to do a wash shot, I try to make sure my cottons are no more than a day or 2 old.
So far, I feel ok today, no cotton fever thankfully..
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You might be a junkie if you've ever shot up in a porta potty in the dark.

Or if youve ever gotten weird looks at the family dinner because you took one minute too long in the bathroom
 
Deru said:
One minute too long... I would spend the entire dinner and the following night in the bathroom :ROFLMAO:
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lmfao yeah totally xD I guess i meant a scenario where it's one of the few times youre not actually using in there. Youre legit taking a shit, but since your family knows your history of addiction, they assume youve been in there shooting up instead of having a wicked deuce that took a little longer than normal :p
Like, it's such a bunk feeling being innocent, yet people assume youre guilty because of your history.

You might be a junkie if there are blood stains on all your sweater sleeves.
 
Papaverium said:
Youre legit taking a shit, but since your family knows your history of addiction, they assume youve been in there shooting up instead of having a wicked deuce that took a little longer than normal
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100%! I remember having even the nurses monitor me when I’d go in the bathroom because I was shooting up into my PICC line.

Papaverium said:
You might be a junkie if there are blood stains on all your sweater sleeves.
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You’re bringing back memories! I still have my brown and red button up long sleeved shirt for... I have no idea why (tried to come up with some sleek reason, but I failed lol) ... my favorite shirt that was full of blood splatter but you couldn’t see it unless you really stared at it.
 
Deru said:
brown and red button up long sleeved shirt for... I have no idea why (tried to come up with some sleek reason, but I failed lol) ... my favorite shirt that was full of blood splatter but you couldn’t see it unless you really stared at it.
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I need to get me one of those 😂 so many items of clothes ruined from doing too big of a shot of K in my hand/arm alone and passing the fuck out before i could make sure i was pissing out blood everywhere.
Most of the time I'm wearing black bottoms and if i have a nice top on ill take it off prior but of course I'm not always thinking straight.

A fair few of my light boxer shorts seem to have a red dot in the same place now too, low down on the right leg from where i IM and then instead of holding tissue or swab after pulling out i just pull my trousers up and massage the muscle through my clothes 🤦‍♂️
 
Deru said:
One minute too long... I would spend the entire dinner and the following night in the bathroom :ROFLMAO:
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i used to do this too. i would get sent away cos i was too out of it, legit take a bath but then nod out in it, pretty dangerous i know. come round to my mum banging at the door for me to get out.

i haven't taken a bath since i got into recovery cos i associate it with my mum being shitty with me. i remember once i found a shot in a pocket so went 'take a bath' and she had a go at me, i convinced her it was legit this time by saying 'i've been here nearly a week, if i had anything on me i'd have used it by now' (i'd go home to try clean up).

feel awful for my mum...... you might be a junkie if your mum has ever stayed up watching you all night in case she needs to call an ambulance cos she can't wake you up and you're barely breathing.
 
You (near enough) stopped smoking a few months ago yet ALWAYS have a lighter or 2 and a some sticks of filters on you 😂

Very guilty of this, it wasnt until my mate pointed it out to me this weekend i realised I've been doing it

I mean yea i have the occasional cig when im out/drinking but i havent bought or carried around fags/tobacco/rizla etc for ages now
 
wudbutcher said:
You seem to function though. How long ya been bangin
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I think I was half joking when I made this comment, but still. I started IV 7 years ago. First year was the worst. Legal charges from H use, and then I started w/ a-php and it got really bad and I fucked up my left arm pretty irreparably in a short period of time because I had no clue what I was doing and poor technique. After my OD and rehab stint in '14, all of my use of the blade has been sporadic. Thankfully. A lot of people get stuck in it, but I find that when my arms start hurting, I just can't bring myself to do it anymore and have never graduated to finding other spots. My hands have always been too shaky.

Fell back into it recently again though. Even still I usually just stuff my nose or smoke. Took a 100mg shot last night of 2fma. Interesting but wasn't really worth the hassle. Weirdly enough, I fell asleep shortly afterwards, but I haven't slept much recently. I've found that I need to stop if a 100mg shot of methamphetamine becomes lackluster due to tolerance. Just not worth the pain.
 
I can honestly say I don’t have a needle fixation. Self disgust with the whole process; shame at my weakness. But it’s the only way to shut down. Turned out early on,( details in other posts) and has lain dormant through long stretches only to rear its head at low points of my life. No downs in a small town, and coke is a joke. So it’s meth. I wish it killed, just a thief.
 
wudbutcher said:
I can honestly say I don’t have a needle fixation. Self disgust with the whole process; shame at my weakness. But it’s the only way to shut down. Turned out early on,( details in other posts) and has lain dormant through long stretches only to rear its head at low points of my life. No downs in a small town, and coke is a joke. So it’s meth. I wish it killed, just a thief.
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That's good. At first I was possessed w/ wanting to, and I felt it in twinges all through my arms and body. But w/ a few more bad times and a whole lot of pain, the sensation has mostly passed. It rears it's head from time to time.

Nothing will rip you up quite like the blade. I know someone who regularly IVs adderall. I simply couldn't fathom it. I've never tried but I can't imagine those binders feel so great, especially when you're already low on entry points. Rush? I doubt it. I mean eating it makes you feel just fine. I wouldn't even IV when I was getting fire H for 2 years. If it's good, sniffing it will nod you out just as pleasantly and with far less side effects.

I found myself compulsively wanting to do it the other day, just wasting literal hours online trying to find a proper dose to do. I knew exactly what needed to be done but I was just trying to prolong it I imagine. It worked one out of two times, because I did the same thing last night but caved. Arm kinda hurts but nothing serious. Just another dumb and base impulse from yours truly.
 
deficiT said:
I think I was half joking when I made this comment, but still. I started IV 7 years ago. First year was the worst. Legal charges from H use, and then I started w/ a-php and it got really bad and I fucked up my left arm pretty irreparably in a short period of time because I had no clue what I was doing and poor technique. After my OD and rehab stint in '14, all of my use of the blade has been sporadic. Thankfully. A lot of people get stuck in it, but I find that when my arms start hurting, I just can't bring myself to do it anymore and have never graduated to finding other spots. My hands have always been too shaky.

Fell back into it recently again though. Even still I usually just stuff my nose or smoke. Took a 100mg shot last night of 2fma. Interesting but wasn't really worth the hassle. Weirdly enough, I fell asleep shortly afterwards, but I haven't slept much recently. I've found that I need to stop if a 100mg shot of methamphetamine becomes lackluster due to tolerance. Just not worth the pain.
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I looked up 2fma, hows that compare to real damp?
 
I didn’t even think about the pain during my coke run. And thankfully life brought responsibilities and good things to distract. I lived better than I deserved.
25? yes later and nursing a couple hens egg misses. Violent vasoconstriction, I know what I’m doing, it’s like I can feel the veins shrivel at the mere proximity of the mix.
 
wudbutcher said:
I didn’t even think about the pain during my coke run. And thankfully life brought responsibilities and good things to distract. I lived better than I deserved.
25? yes later and nursing a couple hens egg misses. Violent vasoconstriction, I know what I’m doing, it’s like I can feel the veins shrivel at the mere proximity of the mix.
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Need my sis. Miss, and more than just her steadies.
 
I definitely developed a horrible needle fixation. It took me two years to finally get over some of the obsessions, and even now I still have find myself enjoying memories of the better times. I still will never look at my veins the same as pre-IV (I have a few good veins that have popped back up in my hand since I stopped doing cocaine and I’ve been struggling with seeing them lately). I hate to say it, but my brain reprogrammed itself so quickly that I was literally quite content and happy to just sit in the bathroom for 16 hours per day and shoot up cocaine every 30 seconds for as long as I possibly could. The insanely addictive, repetitive dosing that goes with cocaine just really added on the needle addiction all at the same time.
 
wudbutcher said:
I looked up 2fma, hows that compare to real damp?
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Meh. I think I didn't suck up all the juices and realized my cotton was a little soggy after injection. Felt nice but can't compare to meth I imagine. Have heard it could in higher doses though. Plus I had been up all day doing it nasally so have quite the tolerance at this point, I've been sniffing it all day and barely feel it anymore. I imagine taking one good one on your first dose would be a better experience.

And agreed, IV coke fucking sucks and that ritual is so bloody and brutal and pointless. I've found NDRI cathinones to have the same effect on me.

But baby I wish I could have some doctor administer me a proper bellringer, put the drugs back in the cabinet out my reach, and allow me to talk to the finest looking nurse on staff. Would be fine to gakk out in the waiting room and just generally put people off by my weird coke head presence. A man can dream.

The speedball can cure this effect. My last proper speedball I had my running mate hit me while I drove back from copping. Promptly was pulled over by the policia w/in a couple minutes cause of bad tail lights. That was a fun conversation.

My veins suck and I refuse to play w/ my hands. I will assuredly miss and cry like a bitch. But I likely just suck ass at it cause most proper needle heads greatly envy my veins.
 
If they're over 2 mm in diameter, I'd be envious too ;)

The last time I injected cocaine was into my PICC line in the hospital, and although I fucked myself badly with the orange juice to break down the crack, it was just as magical as I had always envisioned it.

It was like that was the very last insanely dumb thing I needed to do to get it out of my system
 
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