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You Might Be A Junkie If... v. Oops, I nodded with the needle still in.

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You might be a junkie if you have gotten high in rehab

You might be a junkie if you have been to 8 different rehabs

You might e a junkie if you think that because you clean needles errytime that what you are doing is safe

You might be a junkie if ou spend hours on bluelight researching drugs

You might be a junkie if you hold up a sign that says , "I don't need food, I need heroin!"

You might be a junkie if you ask for money and instead you get a sack of apples and proceed to curse and throw the apples back at the person who gave them to you

You might be a junkie if you rob grocery stores and pharmacy for toiletries so that you can pan handle the toiletries on MARTA(the subway)
 
You willing use an needle already used by someone with aids cuz it's the only one near by.
 
Blind Melon said:
When you've dropped your last OxyContin in a puddle of piss at a public bathroom and cleaned/consumed it before even thinking it over.


When you're at a detox and a doctor is stroking your dick claiming to be giving you a physical even though he has no glove on and no physical ever has required stroking of the shaft.... and you smack his hand off and say, "wtf, man!" only to hear him say, "well you want Suboxone, right? We've gotta get through this physical if I can prescribe you something for your WDs". I didn't let him finish. He didn't give me shit, and I was coming off a daily habit of 1 gram cocaine + (most important) 180mg OxyContin + 2 grams of chronic + the occasional benzo, non-stop for 2 straight years.
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wow...
 
Bob Loblaw said:
If you've been to rehab more than once

If you've spent more than a year in rehab

If you get drunk & draw pictures of different molecules for people & try to explain bonding sites & basic nomenclature

If you've chosen to shove drugs up your ass rather than flush it

If you've ever shot up while driving

If you've ever shot up while someone else is driving

If you've ever taken one of your friends' word that they're clean before sharing a needle
(DO NOT DO THIS)
If you'd been caught so many times before graduating high school your parents didn't even punish you when they found needles

If you're hanging out with someone who has almost no veins & you hit them in under 30 seconds

If you've ever told medical personnel, "No, don't hit in that vein" & pointed to a different one

If you come back from an OD & your first thought is to get fucked up

If you've had multiple people on different occasions cry because they were so worried about you

If you've ever shot dope to avoid feeling so fucking awful & being so low not even heroin can take away your feels
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...I think i might be a junkie, then, i've done all those things
 
You might be a (redneck) junkie if you're getting your blood drawn in jail in Lafayette, and the girl doing it is having so much trouble that she asks her boss if it's okay to take you up on your offer to let you do it yourself.

You might be a junkie if a phlebotomy school awards you an honorary degree.

You might be a junkie if you go in for major surgery, and afterward, the anesthesiologist tells you that you have broken the hospital's all-time record for dose required to put your ass out. (Not me, but a good friend)
 
You might be a junkie if you start playing with yourself while sitting on the computer chair watching porn.
Then half way through you fall asleep with your dick in your hand. Some hours pass...
The next thing you know - Your girlfriend walks through the door, and wakes you up when she says "WHAT THE FUCK!?"

Yeah... that was awkward.


True story.
 
you run out of clean rigs on a camping trip so you give yourself a coffee enema in order to clear the way for rectal administration ASAP.

i ran out just over the last few days while camping, but trust me, the thought didnt cross my mind. i had fillers.
 
JunkieDays said:
You might be a junkie if you start playing with yourself while sitting on the computer chair watching porn.
Then half way through you fall asleep with your dick in your hand. Some hours pass...
The next thing you know - Your girlfriend walks through the door, and wakes you up when she says "WHAT THE FUCK!?"

Yeah... that was awkward.


True story.
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GHB?

lol. it sounds a likely culprit for such an embarrassment ;)
 
Blind Melon;12037466 When you're at a detox and a doctor is stroking your dick claiming to be giving you a physical even though he has no glove on and no physical ever has required stroking of the shaft.... and you smack his hand off and say said:
Ah, finally. The 'molesting sub doctor ' Stories details have come to light.
Now, (virtual) hands up who, in their roughest point of withdrawal; would allow the doc to finish the ahem, physical?lol
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^thats degrading as fuck. I guess I wouldnt mind if he was off duty and was paying me...but NO WAY IN HELL if he was getting my insurance money. Fuck that perv.
 
95Land said:
^If I had to take a wild, and I mean WILD guess, I'd say the culprit was mosts likelies Heroin.
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Ding, ding, ding! Benzos, heroin, and some bullshit anti-histamines.
Good times.

bunge said:
Ah, finally. The 'molesting sub doctor ' Stories details have come to light.
Now, (virtual) hands up who, in their roughest point of withdrawal; would allow the doc to finish the ahem, physical?lol
Click to expand...

Maybe.. if the script was for some dilly's or oxy 80s.. I'd nut in like 5 seconds flat if I was in withdrawal. lol
Then he would write my script, and give me a lollipop on the way out.
 
You steal your grandmother's pain pills and swap them out with your testerone/workout pills. My brother did this and his friend was drinking with me... and ratted him out. So I had to call my grandma before she fucking took them >. < can't wait till my brother threatens to kill me again and/or blames me for taking the pills. Even at my worst I would never do this.
 
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