You, Him and Me.

[BREAKaBEAT]

There is you
Energy, flesh, light.
You.
Pressed up against me.
You tell me in an exact number of words
"I havent spooned with anyone in so long"
I feel light with you, pressing up against me.

Then I remember him.
Darkness. Im anxious. Blabbering.
"Can I undo your belt"
I hate me, and I dont understand why you never felt the same way.
All I wanted to do was love you, and I dont understand why you never felt the same way.
Spouted from seeds of lust grew premature emotion I raped with.
My mind the scene , of such horrific crimes.

Im back with you now, kissing as though it was always you.
Pressed flesh to clothe.
You hate being naked, I am purposefully drawn to your insecurities.
Locked into you, I cant and dont leave.

Love me, Love me.
And im wondering if regardless
Of the
Light and Darkness
Will I rape again ?

 

[RareForm]

this makes me feel...so much.

 

[(Wordy)]

These lines brought up some strong memories for me:

Im back with you now, kissing as though it was always you.

You hate being naked, I am purposefully drawn to your insecurities.

And I love the way you open the poem. I can imagine you reading it with passion - those first four lines especially.

 

[indelibleface]

Very powerful.

 

[lystra]

I feel light with you

what a beautiful phrase

your poem is beautiful too-- reckless emotion with a careful rhythm.

thank you.

 

[Max Power]

One word:

powerful.

 

[Jabberwocky]

i really enjoyed this piece. I love the the use of the word rape because can mean so much in various connotations. Good work here, i have to agree with Wordy the first four lines are very powerful because of the flow and it sets off the poem nicely.

 

[BREAKaBEAT]

I want to change a lot about this poem, but mainly just the last paragraph:

Love me, Love me.
And im wondering if regardless
Of the
Light and Darkness
Will I rape again ?

to:

Love me.LOVE ME!
Now im wondering,
If regardless
Of the differences
Between:
Lightness and Darkness,
Will I rape again ?

Thoughts anyone ?

 

[Raz]

I want to change a lot about this poem, but mainly just the last paragraph:



to:

Love me.LOVE ME!
Now im wondering,
If regardless
Of the differences
Between:
Lightness and Darkness,
Will I rape again ?

Thoughts anyone ?

I prefer it more the first way to be honest (still like it either way).....I really dig this piece! I think it would have a great impact read aloud!