Yall who are "Clean" - Will you ever use again?

[CharlesTheHammer]

I agree and disagree.......

Listen man, no bad feelings but I just really hate hearing people tell me that you cant get clean without the steps since i AM clean and i DID get clean without them. and so did my man, and so did many people that i know.

i guess maybe you meant that its the only way YOU believe that you personally can get clean. If you think its the only way to get clean for you then go for it. just remember to each their own, your way aint the only way. good luck with that tho, in my experience and the people i known in my life, the people who go hardcore onto the 12 step shit usually end up failing becuz of all that negative bullshit--exactly like you are saying-- "I am gonna die"--No you aint! You are the one in charge of that! I hope you dont honestly believe that shit deep inside yourself from gettin brainwashed by all these crazy ass people out there.

i hope you can be the exception to the na experiences i have seen my friends n people around me have. the only people I have ever known who had a successful recovery have been people who took their own control of their lives and finally got their shit together thru their own discipline determination and faith in themselves. nobodys saying that when you dont do NA you dont take a good look at yourself and get help from others. you do, you just dont do it by going to meetings and following the rules somebody else made up. its important to do lots of shit to get clean and if you do the main basic things it dont matter if you follow it in a particular order or "steps"--if you do those things, you will end up clean, regardless of if you are a member of NA/AA or just doin it on your own with support from ur family, etc. it takes alot of work either way, you know, before there was NA and AA, people got clean. So how did that work if there was no steps yet to get them clean? They did becuz those things aint necessarry but the program wants you to believe that they are. i hate to see the desperation that i see in you and so many folks who been hearin all that mess for so long that they cant think no other way. But if you feel that is the thing thats right for you then do you. I just dont understand how a person can feel that a program that tells them such miserable negative things and forces them to believe shit like you are saying like "well, im just gonna die, so i cant do nothing about it except keep using, bye world" could be a good or helpful thing. But if thats the thing you think is gonna work for you then i hope it does and good luck with it, i really hope that shit works out for you

I absolutely agree that you dont need a 12 step program to quit drugs. Oddly enough, I used to go to an NA group while I still used, but once I quit, I didnt go to any AA or NA meetings for like 5 years! I'm not saying that NA kept me from quitting at all, just thought that was ironic.

I quit by getting away from the source of the drugs I was using, and by staying away from the users(people, places, things), and by joining an outpatient drug treatment center and going to groups and one on one counseling sessions there. Plus, I had just reached the end of my rope with drugs, the proverbial rock bottom.

But I dont think that NA or AA people are the fucked up, negative people that you said that they are. There are certainly SOME AA/NA groups who might have a negative message, but most do not..... I attended a local AA group several times last year, and they were very positive people. They do say that the 12 step program is important, but I have never met anyone there at any AA/NA group who said that you would absolutely fail without the 12 steps, and that nothing else will ever work! In fact, they seemed to have the attitude 'to each his own'.

I have seen a few AA/NA groups that I didnt like, because of click politics, a few rude people, AA groups not allowing drug addicts in their group, which is ridiculous!

It sounds like TheTwilight has been attending the wrong 12 step group, and needs to find a new one, or try something else, like an outpatient drug counseling center, or preferably in his apparently suicidal case, a detox followed by a rehab, with some mental counseling.....

 

[AfterGlow]

I was addicted to alcohol and benzos. I quit the alcohol first and then the benzos. I don't plan on ever doing those again. The temptation to use habitually and the consequences of doing so just aren't worth it to me. But I would still do MDMA and psychedelics.

 

[chuchu]

All I can say is - it's true what they say about the 12-step program. Once you learn how to be clean, you are fucked drug-wise. You will never be able to have fun getting high ever again. Or at least I won't, nor anyone else I know in the program. I was clean for 3 1/2 months, and I was convinced that I would never use again. But I did. And in the last 2 months I've been revived at the hospital 4 times. It's gotten worse than it ever did. I am a studying pharmacologist, therefore I know the details of every drug, what it does to you, what to mix and what not to. And I've thrown that shit out the window. My favorite thing now is to mix benzodiazepines, barbiturates, GABA analogs, and opiates/opioids together with weed. I have become suicidal. I didn't used to understand. I used to talk shit about people who used that term. I used to joke about it because I was a dark/goth almost type person. But now I've attempted suicide. Now I literally have no regard for my life. I'm supposed to turn myself into the state mental hospital today, but I don't know if I can/will. I can't live without the drugs. I want SO BADLY to be back where I was. For months I was happy for the first time in my life. The sun shined every morning in my life. I had so much more than I could ever have wanted. I am sick. I have a disease that is going to kill me very soon. I've been told that I have weeks, maybe a month or 2 to live like this...I live in a town that is one of the biggest "recovery" cities in America, and I've been told now numerous times that I'm a worse drug addict that most people have ever seen. I hate that shit. What a fucking blow to my ego & self-esteem (or what little I have left). I love you guys. Keep trying. This shit is not a joke. I am scared for my life now, and I hate getting high. But I can't stop myself, because apparently I have problems that run much, much deeper than extreme drug abuse. Take care, all. God bless.

I am with you on this one man at the rehab where i have been on and off since fucking April they kept telling us that relapses would be worse when we got out and started using again case in point a dude who died and several who were much worse after relapse. i think it has something to do with feelings of failure after a relapse and extreme lowering of self esteem, beating you think you've failed. a better attitude upon relapse is required as its expected that at any recovering addict may relapse.
until then the 12 step program is all i have keeping me alive after trying willpower and failing miserably /RANT. I might use again but no opiates benzos barbs maybe stims and weed.

 

[TheTwighlight]

I just don't know what else to do. I'm on 1800mg gabapentin (GABA analog), 200mg butalbital (barb), 120mg temazepam (benzo), and 10mg baclofen (muscle rexalant, a GABA-B agonist). But I'm high on weed, too. But I'm turning myself into a mental unit later today for 2 weeks. So I'll see you guys later. Love ya'll...

 

[MzAnthroP]

I picked 'maybe but I don't plan on it.'

I thought when I got off drugs that it would be just for a little while. I gave my buddy a fresh pack of rigs and a glass bowl and told him to save a couple spikes for me, and not to lose my bowl, because I would be back.

That was a little over three years ago. That kid has been locked up 2-3 times since I gave him my shit, so I doubt he's still got it. He's jailing in Fairfax county right now... like most of the guys I used to cop/get high with.

As for me, my quality of life, and the amount I am enjoying life since I have stopped getting high has increased beyond measure. I have more to lose now than ever before, so why would I even take a small step in that direction? I'd never be the person I am if I hadn't gotten into heroin at such a young age (injecting at 17) so I am thankful I did. But I would never love life as much as I do today if I hadn't stopped getting high.

YMMV but I love my life today. Don't plan on getting high today, or tomorrow.

I use the spiritual lifestyle promoted by the 12 steps of AA to get and stay off drugs. I do not believe that it is the only way to stop, but it is what worked for me....and I do not feel obliged to defend AA from criticism... but I do want to point out that its 75 year legacy of changing hundreds of thousands, if not millions of lives for the better should speak for itself. You don't have to agree with AA... but it certainly deserves some respect for the impact it has had.

 

[K8eBayB]

I've been on mmt for over a year. I got on it for many reasons, most importantly my baby. My son is the most important thing in my life and unfortunately to most people in the world being a parent and an occassional heroin user don't mix. I have, however managed to stay on methadone and every 5 or 6 months I will use for a couple days, NEVER when my son is around. I like how my life is today and don't ever want to go back to the daily using thing, but I also can't imagine my life without ever using again. I want to have my cake and eat it too.

 

[DrunkardsDream]

I picked this: MAYBE - I don't plan on it, but hey you never know, I might

I'm not going to use my DOC (drug of choice) that I had problems with ever again but if someone had some excellent high dose LSD or very good shrooms and I was in a good state of mind I'd trip again. I did smoke some herb for the first time in years this past year and so far it was a one time thing.

As for 12step recovery vs DIY (do it yourself) recovery they both can work but you have to keep working at it and want to stay sober.

I know on the TV show Intervention when they find out that a relative of the addict that the episode is about did DIY sobriety the drug counselor sort of flips out and then tells them how they MUST go to AA/NA/Treatment officially/all over again even though they've been sober for years and decades.

I have a friend that avoids 12 step meetings because they make him start to crave booze all over again when he's done a meeting.

 

[love2party]

Hell yeah, I used today and I haven't had a habit in about 6 months.

 

[RidingtheBrownline]

u bet ur ass i will. ive been on house arrest since sept and have used 3 times since then, thanks to 2 lovely friends and the lovely girlfriend.

now i certainly dont plan to developing a habbit again but i surley aint done playin around. its so awesome gettin flored off a half bag or a bag if i snort it.

 

[knighton]

Hopefully not. I don't want to use drugs again. I did have a serious problem with drinking. I still do drink, but in moderation. I rarely get drunk.

 

[deaf eye]

its kinda fuct, you be clean for like a month, score a bundle, loose some time in the nod, then you're off the paper again,

its like a paradox what time you lost in the nod
you end up paying back with a week or two of time moving in fuckall slow motion

hap[pen to anyone else ?
make sense ?

 

[megawoof]

yeah i will use again when the heroin drought sorts itself out in the uk just so depressing at the moment dealers selling utter crap and idiots still buying it they must be laughing there socks off

 

[rollin_stoned]

i'm planning to use again on my birthday which is march 1st and my birthday weekend. i'll be clean for 3.5 months by then. I may or may not restrict myself from IV'ing the heroin, and if so, i'm going to keep myself to snorting it.

then stay off them again till/if i go to california late june '11 which i'll be sticking to just pills then. and then stay clean till my next birthday. That's really the only day i'm allowing.

 

[AlphaMethylPhenyl]

I didn't vote because I think that this poll is for hard drug users. Luckily I was only addicted to pot. I use ever now and then but it just doesn't feel the same...

 

[OEandricearoni]

^^lol addicted to pot, get outta here with that mr ho chi minh, ya commie

I don't plan on ever getting back on the H wagon but you never know. The first time i went to rehab i befriended a guy there who has a heroin addict when he was my age. He had 17 years clean and had recently relapsed and that's why he was in rehab. Suboxone has been workin well for me and i don't plan on going back to doin dope anytime soon, but it's possible that i will. There's just no way to tell.

 

[DexysMidnightRuner]

i plan on just going back to weed, psychedelics, and X..but you never know how shit will do. ill prob do amps again when my tolerance finally goes down..and just my luck ill end up doing H again and sometime much later i miiiiggght do coke again...but i pray to god ill never become an IV user again. i just hope i can manage my shit. im sick of shit falling apart and going no where. but the only choices seem to me, no drugs and manageable life..or drug user and completely and utterly nothing shit.