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Write A Letter To Your Lover, SO or Crush Vol. IV!

Ive always told you that if my depression got me to the point where I felt suicidal that I would alert you. I promised this. Many times.

Well that time has finally come. I want to kill myself and I don't want to tell anyone...most especially you. I'm tired of this struggle and I just don't know what to do or think anymore.... talking about it doesn't help anymore. Nothing eases the pain.

In not one to go back on my word but I just cannot tell you now... some man I turned out to be
 
Dear Light Brown, Curly Haired Girl from last night.

Although our interaction was brief and cut short by me being ejected from the club by a bouncer, I'd really like to see those beautiful brown eyes once more. And your smile was mesmerising.

See you around.
 
hw, you better keep your boys leash tighter. I don't wanna have to do some things I don't wanna do...
 
I do not want to use this at all, but it is here if something changes. I wish you luck that it doesn’t.


K,

I’m gone and I’m sorry and I love you.

We’ve fought and discussed the reasons why too many times already, so I won’t reiterate them here.

Ultimately, we just couldn’t find a way to cooperate or communicate and we lost the will to try. We don’t work together as a couple and it’d be toxic to stay friends or roommates.

I don’t hate you. You’ll call me a liar, but I’m not—I value your friendship and care about you, more than anything. But the best thing is for us to be apart. So my decision to leave is out of love, even though you’ll be too blinded by anger, sadness and pain to see it right now.

I’ve left some money to offset rent, switched all of the utilities into your name and posted an ad on Craigslist for a roommate for you. I will stay in touch until your housing situation is settled but please do not try to change my mind.

I really enjoyed our time together and the love we shared. I will miss it. And most of all I will miss you.

Goodbye, K.

Love,
D
 
I let you go, and you decided to come back.

I am hoping for the best, but prepared for the most of the least.

:)

I really want to be right and wrong at the same time right now.

=D
 
The reason:
There are so many people you could have used for a rebound, so many people who could have made you feel better.
You went and chose me, you gave me false hope, you gave me something to aim for only to take it away immediately.
You gave me worth, you instilled/inspired all of these positive feelings, you gave me all of this only to take it away and throw me back into this emptiness.
You didn't have to do this to me. You didn't have to lie to me.

You knew I had issues, and I even told you about my attachment and what you had come to mean to me.
You didn't have to keep it going.

I just-
I felt completely ruined, to know that something so seemingly pleasant was to be so wretched.
I already had trouble with people, and you have made me so cynical about any show of love or care, or genuine kindness.
I know I can't blame you for the affect you had on me. I know this is coming from me, not you, but you planted the seeds and then pissed on them.

I guess it is just saddening to think that so many people are shit. It's quite the realisation as to the motive and weight behind all human interaction.

I am used to this nothingness again. All my desire has been sequestered.
Now I'm here, hitting these same buttons, fooling myself into thinking these pixels mean anything.
Oops, there it goes. Maybe I never even derived meaning, but it's a nice thought.

Balls.
 
I struggle to express just how much I love and appreciate you, and everything you are to me. I've never felt so loved, cared for, or considered in my life. <3
 
We met under the strangest circumstances. You initiated the conversation. I caught you looking at me multiple times, you always smiled and looked away. Our plans yesterday fell through but I hope tomorrows work out. Is this real life?
 
you are amazing.

you knew i was exhausted after work and you got up at 10pm at night to make me pasta and clean the kitchen/dining room so i wouldnt wake up to our home in disarray. it was such a beautiful and sacrificial gesture (especially as i had fallen asleep on you while you were cooking for me) that i appreciated more than words can express. youre so thoughtful and considerate and i love that about you <3

i love how we work together to make each other happy and our life fun. i love you.

...kytnism...:|
 
Thank you for putting up with my shit, my insecurities, and helping me through this tough time in my life. Without you here to help me, I'd have surely thrown in the towel by now. I pray that I can get over this hump soon, find the stability and security that I need, and that we can continue to build something special. I'm not afraid to talk about a future together with you, and that's the first time I could say that about anyone. I can't wait until you return to the city on Saturday night, and I look forward to holding, kissing, and sleeping next to you just as much as I look forward to fucking your brains out.
 
Time isnt helping. I almost killed myself over it on new years. i just want to be weightless, so be comfortable again.. kind of like when we were together lying in bed.. gazing into the eyes that I knew would be with me every day i lived.

I should have. then life happened. now YOur just off with other guys that will never care as much. you can convince yourself they do But they didn't have a messed up pelvis that required surgery which was botched twice.
anyways you are awkward is fuck and all they want is your body, to fuck and use as they will since your a kinky little slut and doesn't mind being used. you really think they care about you? you just want validation. they will never understand you, much less love you, like i did. and you fucking leave me high and dry, at the worst time in my life, again.


were you always so genuinely, authentically full of shit ?

So they get you. And who the fuck are you now? Not the caring compassionate person i knew. fuck you. you threw my heart in the garbage like shit. You made me fall in love just to never want to love again because of all the pain. My life is bad enough without you rubbing in my face how you are so much better than me. fuck all of this. because of a broken growth plate or skeletal deformity my life becomes ruined. fuck this. i should have died in a car crash when i was 15.
if i dont have another surgery that goes well within a year, im going to check out of this place. fuck suffering. im 22 and have been suffering 7 years. im ready to throw in the towel, and you weren't there for me. and you probably wouldn't even give a flying fuck
so fuck everything.
 
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Fuck, I love you and not just because you're you, or because we've known each other so long, or because I am "running back to you", it's because you love me unconditionally. I was afraid of all of these things I was feeling at once and I ran away from it all instead of facing it and growing into what we were about to make.

And I end up loving you anyway. Go figure. I hope our day comes.
 
you are by far the sexiest mom out of all the moms on the pta ,... you drive me wild , lets meet up, deaf
 
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