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Write a letter to someone who may never read it! >>> v. 2

Well, here you are. With each passing day, nothing seems to change. Your life is so lacking you have nobody to write to, nobody to love, no dramas to distract you from your loneliness, nothing. All you've got is your fucking fixation on the past. What would you be like without clinging onto the past? You're so fixated she has become part of you. What would you be like without that bearing, reminding you. Just fucking let go. Surrender to the present. Succumb to the moment. Accept reality. Move on. You've been stuck in this absurd stupor for so long. Stop being stupid. Let go. Move on. Please, just get yourself out of this.
Sincerely, past you.
 
Why do you have to live so far away? I mean really-- at least were we on the same landmass we could see each other more than once or maybe twice in a year. Where you live is amazing, it's true... but I don't know how I'm going to wait that long to see you again. It's been less than a month and I'm already a mess.

Ah well. One down, seven to go. Miss you.
 
Thank you Samadhi <3

Hey baby.. since that last letter, only 10 days ago, things have started to go so much better for me! I don't quite know how it happened.. I still miss you just as much and it still hurts horribly, and sometimes I am still very scared and lonely, but somehow.. something has shifted in my head. You'd be so proud of me! I have been getting out and about, seeing friends, started that Buddhism course, arranging returning to work - I start back on 1st Feb and I feel like I can do it! A month ago I couldn't even leave my bedroom, it's pretty surreal..

Nothing has really changed about how I feel about your death, it's more like.. I have learnt to live alongside my grief, rather than my grief overwhelming everything. I have learnt that I can move forwards, and it doesn't mean leaving you behind, and that possibly I am actually going to be okay. Which is such progress, I feel like I need to pinch myself.. It feels like it's a magic trick, a balancing act, and I am scared I will slip and lose the knack.. but even if I do, I will do everything I can to get it back, because I know how proud you would be and I know it is what I need to be doing :) <3

Thank you so much for everything. Your life changed me for the better, so much.. and now your death, despite being the most horrific, traumatic, shocking and just inconceivable thing I have ever been through or ever imagined I would have to go through.. that has changed me too. And surprisingly, after months of feeling empty and forever broken, it has changed me for the better.. Someone much wiser than me told me it would once the intensity subsided, but I didn't believe him at the time. I had to learn it for myself. Life is so much more beautiful even though now I know how dark and chaotic and unfair it can be (and that the concept of fairness doesn't even come into it..) Everything has a bittersweet quality to it and everything I do from now on, I do with a far greater awareness.. it is hard to explain. You opened my eyes, baby, and you changed my whole world. Thank you.

I would still give anything to see you walk in the door right now, but I can't have that, I finally understand that now.. I will never be comfortable with this but I don't want to be, and sometimes the shock and horror of it still catches me unawares and takes my breath away, but I think it always will.. and I wouldn't have it any other way. I still have a long way to go but I wanted you to know I am doing better and how incredibly grateful I am to have had the honour of knowing you as well as I did. Never forget you baby, ever. And thank you. And I love you.

ps I'm going out raving to some gabba tonight! I will think of you by the speaker stack..

pps sorry that was tl;dr darlin', hehe, I can imagine you laughing at me.. but I needed to tell you that I am okay :) <3

<3
 
You,
I could be the child here and whine and complain and curse you out but you know what? I have grown up alot since I knew you. I am more mature and someone I have longed to become. You leaving my life was the best thing to happen. Thanks for being a lying asshat who needs more psychotropic meds than an elephant. My mistake with you lead me down a path where I now have a future wife and family and happiness with all that and myself. So thanks and bugger off and leave me be. I know how you write online so don't pretend not to be you cause its not fooling anyone. Its just pathetic that you can't stop bothering me anytime I write online. Go find a life for yourself and get well. This will be the last time I think about you and/or write to you because you don't deserve one second in my thoughts or life.

Goodbye.
 
hai
i just need to say it once more, it makes me nervous
iloveyoutoo
 
Hypnotized
Mesmerized
Infatuated
Goofy
Giddy
Horny
Intrigued
Happy
Loved

These are all things I feel when I talk to you. You make me feel like a kid again and I'm loving every minute of it.
Love you lots hermosa. <3
 
Sky,
Why can't I stop thinking about you? I miss hanging out with you. I miss smoking with you. I loved going over to your house and watching random shows with you and cuddling in your comfy bed. I felt so comfortable with you. I wish hanging out with you didn't have to be such a huge secret. But.... I also loved the thrill of getting away with it. A lot of people would be very upset with me if they knew what we did together. I don't regret it though... even though I've heard that you've been with a lot of girls :/ You are so cute... and cuddly. I loved the way you grabbed my ass the first time we made out and whispered 'damn you' in my ear. That literally sent me off the deep end. You get me so hot and bothered, I can't handle it! I love it when you bite my bottom lip. And how you kiss my neck. And how you ripped off my undies and went for it. I wish I would have just had sex with you the last time we hung out. I've never been so sexually attracted to anyone else. And the only reason I texted you asking to get a dub for me was because I really really wanted to see you. I didn't really want any weed, but I wanted to get high with you and mess around.

I wish you could be mine, but you are too much of a douchebag. We could never be together. Ever. And that makes me really sad. I wish we still lived in the same town. I wish you still texted me. I wish we could laugh together again, like that one time in my car. We really cracked up that night. We have so much in common, it kills me! Why can't we just live in another universe and be together forever?

I need to forget about you. I need to forget your cute, perfect smile. And your cute body. And your cute stupid dog. And your cute little laugh.

God, I wish I could just tell you all this. I wonder if you still think about me like I think about you. You probably don't. Whatever.

I'll always have a soft spot for you.

-A
 
J,

Your a fucking idiot. Reality check, the world dosen't revolve around you! You may think i worship the ground you walk on, but im just being nice. You need to sort yourself out, because one day someone is gona give you exactly what you deserve you stupid fucking slut.

have a good life, i wont be loosing any sleep over you. :)

peace.
 
C.
I know we were cool with each other over three years ago. We were friends and you dated my old friend at the time.... I know I turned 18 in september and maybe that's why you finally made a move on me but to be honest I'm not interested. You're good looking but I'm not into the whole have sex first then get to know each other better...and I'm already seeing someone who I really am into. Hmmm. I'm going to tell you this whenever you hit me up again, which I know you will. I know you think we could go to the movies and whatever, even just as friends but I know you'll be trying to makeout with me and trying to come to my house. Yeah, you're not coming over. Even if you did nothings happening. Ugh, well I guess ill have to let you know this soon. I just wish you didn't live a street over from me because I'm sure ill run into you, more than once :\

J.
I don't like you. Never liked you.... Yeah I did think you were cute but your personality and everything else about you sucks. I hate also living near you. You're two streets over and I don't like getting a text saying you saw me walking.... I mean I could care less and I don't believe you when you say you miss me.... You're just another player and lol even my co-worker told me you tried to fuck her back in high school, wow 8) also your tribal tattoo isn't hot at all and please keep your tongue ring in your mouth. It doesn't make me want you at all. I'm not into contracting std's.

M.
You've been trying to fuck me for awhile and then tried to just say you wanted to just hangout with me after I said I didn't want to fuck you. Well, all those winks in the texts you send me and all the other shit you say proves me right. You just want to fuck and your idea of just being friends is just a scheme to have me come over. Lol, no. I also don't see why you keep texting me when you don't get a reply. Also the only reason I ever thought about dating you awhile ago was so I could get a free tattoo by your brother, lmao. Well anyways I hope you get the picture and please stop trying to talk to me every time I pass the tattoo shop.

K.
You're my best friend and every time you get drunk/high you make moves on me. The last time you over we spun around outside my door and I held you while we talked about how cute Josh is...and how you were going to have sex with him lol.. Then we stopped spinning around and you looked into my eyes and kissed me. I kissed back more than once. We only stopped because my mom opened up the door. Haha we were so drunk at this point and we ended up drinking more, a lot more. Then we started making out on my bedroom floor and then on my bed for over an hour lmao... Then we went outside cause your mom was coming. I was still drunk since I took more shots but then you weren't really but you still continued to makeout with me. I mean I was drunk at this point and you weren't.... I mean I have no feelings what so ever for you except as a friend but I'm not sure how you feel. I know you're seeing Josh now but I don't know lol. Well all I do know now is my mom probably thinks I'm a lesbian because she totally caught us making out when she opened my door and I was on top of you lmfao. Wow, alcohol. It does wonders. Lol oh well you're my best friend and we just ended up kissing I guess.

Other person...
You know who you're and I want you, so get here <3
 
Double posting but who cares was awhile ago.

C.
I've been seeing you every week now and I love being able to spend time with you. Its been good and all. I loved watching across the universe with you and playing rockband. I know you like me a lot and I even heard you say you loved me under your breath.. I was like what? But you acted like you said nothing. I feel bad though because I know you said we could just see each other as friends but I know you don't want just that. I'm sorry if I'm leading you on. I mean I really like you but I like him a lot more.

-Me
 
Dear L,

I just want to say im sorry things never worked out between us and if I could go back in time I would have never started using drugs that early. Not only did it alienate me from you and my old friends, it made me into a shell of my former self. I was too fucked up to see how unique and caring you really were. Of course now youre off in college fulfilling your dreams and you deserve a guy way better than me so chances are we probably wont speak again.

From,

X
 
Sup Jeff?

You sir, are one fucking awesome dude. Your amazing quantity of narcissism and your ability and tendency to be a condescending prick to EVERYONE, all the time is win. You do it very well, probably owing to your rather impressive education, and the wit and ability to quickly detect the smallest error someone may make, and you get away with it, likely because you are very successful.

Doing coke in the bathroom with you and then walking down the hall, insulting everyone we come across, and finally hitting on girls who are often 30 years your junior and 5 mine, in front of my GF no less, is win!... even more win, when as usual, she joins us and starts macking on girls too.

Some people say you are an egotistical dick. I disagree, its just you know how much better you are then the vast majority of other people.

You made me lol hard today, when one of your students was discussing something with you and was like "Well I though <stuff> worked like X" and then you replied "That is because you have the brain of a baboon" and walked away without adding anything to at least correct them.

In short, I have BROmantic feelings for you and look forward to our next session of doing lines and trolling people.

Reggards,
unkel rongrz.
 
______________,
I think I might actually be turning a corner.
Here I am 6 months later- they have passed in the blink of an eye.
It feels like yesterday you left....Two days in a row I've woken up for the first time without panicking about you being gone.
I have slept through the night those two nights and while you were in my dreams, I wasn't hurting.
I never thought I would be the one to take it the hardest.
I'm going to start living again.
You taught me so much....its time to remember.
 
Mallory,
I like you a lot, and we would be great together. You say you're interested, but it doesn't feel like this is going anywhere. I can make you happy, but you've got to be willing to let me.

Feels nice to get that out, but not something I could or should actually say to someone I met on an online dating site who's likely wasting my time. It's a shame cuz I found the relationship test very intuitive, and we had very similar results as to what we want. She seems like an awesome girl, but I doubt I'll ever get to meet her.

On a related note, does anyone know of a good online dating site for stoners? I don't mind paying a membership fee if I might actually get to take somebody out who's not fat and boring.

~CTdopeLove
 
dear R
i jus want you to know i much i love you,i always have since that 1st day that i met you in the q,but i feel like i cant tell you because your with him,a controlling,posseive coke hed.....i wish that we had met 6monthes earlyer,your so kind,sweet,caring and beutiful.do you know wht makes it even worse-for me-your my best freind in the whole world,i couldent ask for a better.:( i thought iv been in love before...but nah that was the xtc,the alchol.i feel intoxicated and trapped when im around you,yet at the same time im the happiest person in the world......i fuckin love you and i always will.x
 
Girl, you need to let go of this heartache that is tearing you apart. I feel your pain cause I care about you more than you even realize. He is a fool for not wanting you any more, and you need to see that it's not you who's at fault, it's him. Please, move on, and learn to live happily once more.

I'm trying not to think selfishly, but damn I want you to myself. I know you care a little, and perhaps want to try things out with me, but I can tell something is stopping you. Perhaps you don't want to let go of this guy, this fool who doesn't see what he is missing out on. You must realize how silly it is for you to be holding on to something that is clearly over with. Start new, be free and enjoy your life.

I love cuddling with you. I love how we hold hands, and bite each other while we tease each other. The smiles, the laughs. I can see it in your eyes, in your smile that you like me too. I'm not asking you to marry me, nor am I expecting you to become attached to me so suddenly. I guess what I'm saying really, is give us a chance, cause I can't help but feel what could be, would be something beautiful and amazing if only you'd let it become just that.
 
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