Worried about my benzo usage

[SomethingWitty123]

I've only tried benzos a couple of times, first time I blacked out on 14mg Xanax (I had no idea wtf I was doing), and after a couple of weeks, I've been taking Valium first at 30mg and then a couple days later at 40mg to comedown from an acid trip.

I know they are so harmful, but I'm a naturally nervous person and I'm permanently tense (I suffer from severe anxiety) and benzos finally offered me some relief and a way to sleep soundly without any effort. But I worry because it's so easy to think 'oh I'll just have one more today' and then the same the next day, until you're in withdrawal hell.

I also just feel like I'm finally a normal human being on benzos, especially Valium since its long acting; it helps me sleep and my anxiety is dramatically reduced the next day. I get cravings to take them almost everyday. Can anyone give me any advice?

 

[Man in the Dark]

Yes stop taking that high of a dose. There is no need to take 14mg of Xanax. If you really need them then try to get them prescribed and use them under their care of a medical professional before you end up in a bad situation . If you really need them I wouldn't take Xanax I would stick with the longer-term benzo's . I have been on and off Benzos for 12 to 13 years and have been on them daily for the past two years and have never went above 4 mg of Klonopin. I have severe anxiety along with a pretty bad case of PTSD .

 

[willy33]

If benzos make you feel like you can cope with life, if, like you said, they make you feel 'normal', start a dialogue with your doctor about whether you are a candidate for regular benzo use. Contrary to the official party line from the medical fraternity that "benzo's are only to be used short-term and in no other way", I have the backing of both my GP and psychiatrist and am on 1mg clonazepam daily, and will be for the foreseeable future.

When I feel like it's not as helpful as it used to be, perhaps six months into treatment, I ask to go on to diazepam and he puts me on that. This is my psychiatrist. However, prior to having a psychiatrist, my local family doctor was happy enough to supply me with scripts of diazepam (10mg a day), provided I didn't turn up before my appointment date with some bullshit reason why I needed them early.

So yeah, perhaps talk to your doc. It is virtually impossible to buy black-market benzos at a cheap enough rate to make using them daily feasible. Plus there's no guarantee your contact will always have them, despite what they might tell ya.

Good luck

 

[Pilll_head]

I agree with Man in the Dark, those are huge doses. You need to find the lowest daily dose that stops the anxiety/insomnia. My personal opinion is that having to take a benzo (or any drug) to be able to function is not a great situation but having crippling anxiety or insomnia is worse. I have to take Ambien and two anti-depressants in order to lead what I'll call a semi-normal life but I definitely prefer the dependency on the pills to being out of my head crazy from depression and not being able to sleep.