I'm Sorry if anything that Im about to state or ask has already been covered in another forum/thread, I've been thumbing through the forums for a long time now and I just feel compelled to tell my story and ask for anything and everything that my help me in this situation.
To Put it Bluntly I am an Addict. I've managed to lose my more than I can bear and for the first time in my life I am truly starting to grow sick and tired of being sick and tired. For years I just smoked pot (Mostly in my Adolescence). Started only smoking 1-3 hits at a time. eventually that grew into consuming 1 oz. in 2 weeks. Finally pot wasn't enough, I found myself checking relatives medicine cabinets every chance I got. I'd look for anything that seemed or in fact was psychoactive. Years of this passed and many bridges burned, so many relationships strained to the point of wondering if unconditional love was even present. I am 23 years old now and just ended a 3 year relationship with one of the most amazing girls I've ever encountered all because I couldn't stop smoking pot and buying pods and stealing scripts. Still to this day I have never once stuck myself with a needle or used Heroin and I absolutely refuse to. I fear though one day I won't feel the same and I can't imagine falling completely into the junkie lifestyle. I've already Overdosed once on methadone when I was 14 yrs old, Spent 3 days in a coma in icu and I know the angels didnt save my life that day so I could eventually graduate to heroin junkie.
Currently I haven't bought pods or had scripts for a month and now Im trying my hardest to kick a kratom&weed habit. I never thought in my life it could be so hard to stop taking kratom. Sure it was a bitch to switch from pods to kratom but now I feel Im stuck with this shit for life always feeding that craving and making me want more and really I guess the biggest thing Im afraid of is going back to pods and eventually up the latter until I'm dead in a gutter.
I just want to get back to the person I was before drugs but this is extremely hard as the last time I was completely sober and happy was over 10 years ago. I started using in probably the worst part of life, right in my teen years when your brain is still figuring shit out, I know theres someone out there that can relate to this and probably has gone through worst shit than I have and If you have any suggestions for the PAWS and even more so the depression/anxiety that lingers so long after. I want to quit everything even weed but I'm afraid I am my own worst enemy at this.
To Put it Bluntly I am an Addict. I've managed to lose my more than I can bear and for the first time in my life I am truly starting to grow sick and tired of being sick and tired. For years I just smoked pot (Mostly in my Adolescence). Started only smoking 1-3 hits at a time. eventually that grew into consuming 1 oz. in 2 weeks. Finally pot wasn't enough, I found myself checking relatives medicine cabinets every chance I got. I'd look for anything that seemed or in fact was psychoactive. Years of this passed and many bridges burned, so many relationships strained to the point of wondering if unconditional love was even present. I am 23 years old now and just ended a 3 year relationship with one of the most amazing girls I've ever encountered all because I couldn't stop smoking pot and buying pods and stealing scripts. Still to this day I have never once stuck myself with a needle or used Heroin and I absolutely refuse to. I fear though one day I won't feel the same and I can't imagine falling completely into the junkie lifestyle. I've already Overdosed once on methadone when I was 14 yrs old, Spent 3 days in a coma in icu and I know the angels didnt save my life that day so I could eventually graduate to heroin junkie.
Currently I haven't bought pods or had scripts for a month and now Im trying my hardest to kick a kratom&weed habit. I never thought in my life it could be so hard to stop taking kratom. Sure it was a bitch to switch from pods to kratom but now I feel Im stuck with this shit for life always feeding that craving and making me want more and really I guess the biggest thing Im afraid of is going back to pods and eventually up the latter until I'm dead in a gutter.
I just want to get back to the person I was before drugs but this is extremely hard as the last time I was completely sober and happy was over 10 years ago. I started using in probably the worst part of life, right in my teen years when your brain is still figuring shit out, I know theres someone out there that can relate to this and probably has gone through worst shit than I have and If you have any suggestions for the PAWS and even more so the depression/anxiety that lingers so long after. I want to quit everything even weed but I'm afraid I am my own worst enemy at this.
