teenagetragedy
Bluelighter
Hi, been a while since I've been online. I'll get right to it. Basically, about a month or so ago I was going through my grandparent's closet helping them clean out and I came across an old container with several boxes of fentanyl patches (my grandpa has had dozens of serious surgeries throughout his life and is always in pain) anyway I asked him what he wanted me to do with them and he told me they were old and I could just throw them away. Well, stupid me decided it would be fun to try them, not knowing how serious of an opiate they were. So for about 4 weeks I was ripping them into small pieces and chewing them daily. Once I realized I was starting to get low, I decided I should probably "ween myself off" so to speak. So I started chewing smaller and smaller pieces and less frequently. Well, I guess it didn't do much help because I am on day 5 without any type of drug and I feel absolutely terrible. I will wake up in the middle of the night extreeeemely hot and my heart will be pounding out of my chest. Last night, I got in the shower twice upon waking up and put the water on ice cold because I thought it was the only thing that could possibly help. It is already bad enough during the day, but for some reason it gets 10x as worse during the night. It it getting to the point where it is unbearable. I've had anxiety problems in the past, but this is like severe body anxiety, yet I'm not thinking of anything scary, nor have I had any big life changes recently. I'm assuming these are withdrawal symptoms but I'm just not sure. I was only on the drug for a month tops, maybe 3 weeks. I know this is the consequence I must pay for fucking around with such a serious drug, but I am desperate for anyone's help or advice at this point. My mom has noticed the symptoms as well, as they are very difficult for me to hide, and she has been begging me to go to the ER. She has no idea I've ever experimented with any type of drug ever, and I am so scared that the doctors will give me a drug test and my mother will find out the scary truth (I am turning 18 in 2 weeks but as for now I am 17 so I think they would be required to share the results with my legal guardian.) I keep telling her it's not that bad and I don't need to see a doctor but it really is that bad. To the point where I just cannot do anything, and I feel absolutely helpless. If any of you have had similar experiences with this sort of thing, or any advice, PLEASE comment. I need all the help I can get. Thanks so much. xx
