First off I want to say I've been a member of BL for years, but out of fear of someone who I know in real life reading this post, I have created this anonymous account.
I don't really have a question to ask or anything; I guess the main reason why I'm posting this is for support. I don't like going to NA meetings and no one who knows me, knows about my problem. This is the only place I can talk about it.
I am addicted to poppy seed tea. I use 60oz a day (30oz in the day time and 30oz at night). I have been doing this for exactly one year now. I would say these seeds are average quality; I've had some that were twice as strong and I've also had some that were 10x weaker. I've been addicted to heroin in the past and poppy seed tea a previous time.
The times that I have successfully quit opiates were always forced on me, either by no more means, or going to jail. This time is a little different though... I make a decent living and I have a wonderful girlfriend who I live with. It is draining me financially and just the effort that it takes to go buy them everyday. The worst part though, to me, is lying to my girlfriend and sneaking behind her back. She knows I had a history with drugs, but has no idea I am currently using... Just that fact alone makes me feel like a piece of shit. I really want to stop.
I'm at 36 hours now. Luckily, I have never really gotten too many physical symptoms. Depression though, is always the one that kills me. My feet kill me if I stand for more than 10 minutes. I don't really have nausea or diarrhea, but I have zero appetite; I couldn't eat if my life depended on it (ironic, because it does). I don't have RLS, but I do have a weird feeling in my legs... A sort of like tingling. I am hyper sensitive to cold weather. General body aches and pains. Mild anxiety.
I keep telling myself once I get to 72 hours, I should be over the hump and it should be downhill from there. I failed at 60 hours on my best attempt. We'll see how this one goes, I feel like I might actually do it this time. Thanks for being here, BL.
I don't really have a question to ask or anything; I guess the main reason why I'm posting this is for support. I don't like going to NA meetings and no one who knows me, knows about my problem. This is the only place I can talk about it.
I am addicted to poppy seed tea. I use 60oz a day (30oz in the day time and 30oz at night). I have been doing this for exactly one year now. I would say these seeds are average quality; I've had some that were twice as strong and I've also had some that were 10x weaker. I've been addicted to heroin in the past and poppy seed tea a previous time.
The times that I have successfully quit opiates were always forced on me, either by no more means, or going to jail. This time is a little different though... I make a decent living and I have a wonderful girlfriend who I live with. It is draining me financially and just the effort that it takes to go buy them everyday. The worst part though, to me, is lying to my girlfriend and sneaking behind her back. She knows I had a history with drugs, but has no idea I am currently using... Just that fact alone makes me feel like a piece of shit. I really want to stop.
I'm at 36 hours now. Luckily, I have never really gotten too many physical symptoms. Depression though, is always the one that kills me. My feet kill me if I stand for more than 10 minutes. I don't really have nausea or diarrhea, but I have zero appetite; I couldn't eat if my life depended on it (ironic, because it does). I don't have RLS, but I do have a weird feeling in my legs... A sort of like tingling. I am hyper sensitive to cold weather. General body aches and pains. Mild anxiety.
I keep telling myself once I get to 72 hours, I should be over the hump and it should be downhill from there. I failed at 60 hours on my best attempt. We'll see how this one goes, I feel like I might actually do it this time. Thanks for being here, BL.


