pally pete
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Feb 21, 2010
- Messages
- 2,428
You have been a great help to me over the past year or two, no infact you have been a lifesaver to me in that time, when in need of advice or information you have always been there for me and no doubt i shall continue to frequent this forum (whether anybody will miss me or not is another matter 
)
Today i have in my possession my last 3 x 80mg Oxycontin (OC) tabs (without Bluelight i would'nt of even knew what they were let alone what you were meant to do with them nor what they did do you!!
)
I also have my last stash of Diazepam which will also be consumed today along with a little weed because they all go so well together %)
Anyway in a little under 90 minutes i have my second appointment with my drug councillor/shrink (her names Caroline and she is a very nice person) which helps. I've also been on prescription anti depressant/anti anxiety medication for almost 11 weeks now, for the first 5 weeks or so i stayed completely clear of any other substances to give my meds any chance but i felt zero change so the doctor changed my prescription from Citalopram 20mg per day to Sertraline 100mg,she re evaluated me after 3 weeks and i let it be known to her that for the past couple of weeks id started using benzos again which said clouds her judgement on what is working? is it the benzos keeping the anxiety under control or was the Sertraline working, she said it be best to try not to use benzos and to just stick to the Sertraline to see if that was helping otherwise we will never really be sure (which makes complete sense) but to any benzo users out there its not easy staying off them and sure enough everyday since then (about 3 weeks) ive used benzos to a varying degree, although yesterday i didnt use any.
Anyway ive bored the hell out of you all now - the moral of the story is - "im giving up drugs"
I want to get to the root of my mental illness whatever it may be and whatever may be causing it..
Wish me luck..i have a feeling im gonna need it!
Thanks to all.
) Today i have in my possession my last 3 x 80mg Oxycontin (OC) tabs (without Bluelight i would'nt of even knew what they were let alone what you were meant to do with them nor what they did do you!!
)I also have my last stash of Diazepam which will also be consumed today along with a little weed because they all go so well together %)
Anyway in a little under 90 minutes i have my second appointment with my drug councillor/shrink (her names Caroline and she is a very nice person) which helps. I've also been on prescription anti depressant/anti anxiety medication for almost 11 weeks now, for the first 5 weeks or so i stayed completely clear of any other substances to give my meds any chance but i felt zero change so the doctor changed my prescription from Citalopram 20mg per day to Sertraline 100mg,she re evaluated me after 3 weeks and i let it be known to her that for the past couple of weeks id started using benzos again which said clouds her judgement on what is working? is it the benzos keeping the anxiety under control or was the Sertraline working, she said it be best to try not to use benzos and to just stick to the Sertraline to see if that was helping otherwise we will never really be sure (which makes complete sense) but to any benzo users out there its not easy staying off them and sure enough everyday since then (about 3 weeks) ive used benzos to a varying degree, although yesterday i didnt use any.
Anyway ive bored the hell out of you all now - the moral of the story is - "im giving up drugs"
I want to get to the root of my mental illness whatever it may be and whatever may be causing it..
Wish me luck..i have a feeling im gonna need it!
Thanks to all.
its only been a few days since i last used and i have serious problem where my oxy tolerance just does not drop, i can go 2 months after using 80mg to get me high and then 2 months later 80mg will hardly touch me. 
