yompf
Bluelighter
- Joined
- May 14, 2017
- Messages
- 462
Hi, ive been on heroine and roxys....
I kicked.
I have horrible anxiety , opiates dont really help that right now, not what im looking for however a week on opiates and a week on benzos would b fine to not get physically addicted to either. BUT. no can do. Opiates dont do the same thing for me anymore. I need to be myself, not high... Hmmm. I could try that, it might work this time...
Anyway
So i got this job, door to door. 15 an hour plus boneses.
I absolutely CAN NOT do it without liquor or a benzo. Obviously i cant drink .lol. if i was buzzing and a door got slamed in my face i would get myself fired. It would be a funny story.
My dog needs a 5000 dollar surgery, meds and other things. My days off work are fri and sun. So far its been a week and a half, .5 mg and a red bull get me through the first part of the work day then i take half of that and another red bull after lunch. It gets me by fine. Im just tired and ive been really unhappy since i started the benzos. Like when it wears off ,when im home, im irritable and quick to tear up over the dumbest crap. Like fri i did not work so i drank beer instead. Needed the beer because i felt so horrible. Like a really bad pms. Im female. Lol.
Wonder if i should try zanex. I dont remember zanex ever making me feel like that.
So with that low of a dose , ONLY on the days i work, if i suffer through the off days , fri and sun .... Yal think i will still pick up a physical dependency?
I dont think so.
Ya know ive been asking myself if i should just go head and take em eveyday. As long as i can get them i can keep the job even with the addiction. Its worth it for my dog...
But why am i waking up feeling so horrible. Kinda shitty. I dont like it.
Idk what to do....
Maybe feeling a like this is better then a full blown addiction...
Ya know... If im even able to stay strong enough, and not do them fri and sun no matter how crappy i feel.
I kicked.
I have horrible anxiety , opiates dont really help that right now, not what im looking for however a week on opiates and a week on benzos would b fine to not get physically addicted to either. BUT. no can do. Opiates dont do the same thing for me anymore. I need to be myself, not high... Hmmm. I could try that, it might work this time...
Anyway
So i got this job, door to door. 15 an hour plus boneses.
I absolutely CAN NOT do it without liquor or a benzo. Obviously i cant drink .lol. if i was buzzing and a door got slamed in my face i would get myself fired. It would be a funny story.
My dog needs a 5000 dollar surgery, meds and other things. My days off work are fri and sun. So far its been a week and a half, .5 mg and a red bull get me through the first part of the work day then i take half of that and another red bull after lunch. It gets me by fine. Im just tired and ive been really unhappy since i started the benzos. Like when it wears off ,when im home, im irritable and quick to tear up over the dumbest crap. Like fri i did not work so i drank beer instead. Needed the beer because i felt so horrible. Like a really bad pms. Im female. Lol.
Wonder if i should try zanex. I dont remember zanex ever making me feel like that.
So with that low of a dose , ONLY on the days i work, if i suffer through the off days , fri and sun .... Yal think i will still pick up a physical dependency?
I dont think so.
Ya know ive been asking myself if i should just go head and take em eveyday. As long as i can get them i can keep the job even with the addiction. Its worth it for my dog...
But why am i waking up feeling so horrible. Kinda shitty. I dont like it.
Idk what to do....
Maybe feeling a like this is better then a full blown addiction...
Ya know... If im even able to stay strong enough, and not do them fri and sun no matter how crappy i feel.