Well, onto my smile for the day.
I was woken up this morning by a phone call from my favorite bluelighter of all time, and possibly my favorite person on Earth (assuming we do not count Michael Jackson as a human being, but more accurately as a God). Now, I don't want to drop names, but her bluelight handle is very similar to "slept in a trash can all night"
I was overwhelmed with indescribable joy when I saw it was her and immediately picked up, even though it was 6 AM and I never answer the phone before I've had my oatmeal. She asked if she had woken me up and I said, "It doesn't matter if you wake me up, you're already in my dreams" which I thought was pretty clever considering I had only been awake for 30 seconds. She may have also thought it was clever, but I will never know because she immediately gave the phone to a drunk man standing next to her who hung up on me after telling me about RoboCop for 5 minutes.
This happens quite frequently. One time I called this person from my cell phone without using a calling card, a call which costs me $3.99/min, and she proceeded to put me on hold to give directions to a person who had gotten lost in a stairwell. These things don't bother me because I have more money than a Vanderbilt in addition to also being so extremely gangsta that I often cause radar to malfunction. Interestingly, this kind of behavior has made its way into our vernacular here in the States. Example "That's so Yarni" or "You are so Yarni right now."
For instance when NASA spent $5 million to build the first Saturn V rocket, the most powerful rocket ever built, and the prototype exploded during a test launch the following appeared on the official NASA transcript:
Christopher Kraft: Well, everybody, looks like we pulled a Yarni.
Anyway, the whole thing left me smiling for like 3 hours because I have Bell's Palsy.
Telescope schmelescope. I like the idea of our massive glass tunnel [Charlie and the Chocolate Factory styleeeee]. 
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