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Why would you fear death?

There are sane reasons to wish to kill yourself.

I would say that depression, by definition, is not one.
Agreed. Anhedonia is a real thing too even if people who have it have to say they have depression, it's not like other types of depression. It's a feeling of detachment from emotions except it doesn't go away

@birdup.snaildown Those methods you mentioned (jumping, gun shot) sound painful and uncertain. I'd rather just take poison
 
Agreed. Anhedonia is a real thing too even if people who have it have to say they have depression, it's not like other types of depression. It's a feeling of detachment from emotions except it doesn't go away

@birdup.snaildown Those methods you mentioned (jumping, gun shot) sound painful and uncertain. I'd rather just take poison
Poison aint easy either gormur - very few drugs that will kill you for sure rather than just cause painful organ failure\brain damage
 
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You were talking about domesticated animals and how horrible it would be if we couldn't euthanize them, despite the fact that they cannot consent. Non-verbal (and otherwise incommunicable people) are the human equivalent. The question is: do we euthanize people - without consent - for any reason? You just said doing so is genocide. Try and connect the dots. Euthanizing people or animals without consent because we decide they have no quality of life and would be better of dead is problematic.



Disagree.



No, I didn't misunderstand you. You're making assumptions about where I'm coming from. Of course you're not advocating for unregulated euthanasia. I never said any such thing.

I also don't think you were saying disabled people should be euthanized - I rightly assumed the opposite - because, as you acknowledged: killing people is wrong. I'm just pointing out that you are being inconsistent with humans/animals. Perhaps you believe that inconsistency is just because animals are not people. Fair enough. I'm just having a discussion with you.



Yes. I agree. I think you need to lay off the acid for a while. Just before I read that sentence, it was fresh in my head already. You keep detailing the extraordinary amount of psychedelic drugs you're consuming. Everything in moderation. LSD provides more useful revelations if you don't abuse it. This is coming from somebody who has abused it and other psychs for decades. Eventually, you will destroy any value they have...
Hey, sorry mate I missed this altogether somehow. Just by chance now. I always like to hear your exact thoughts and appreciate particularly that you don’t hold back, but in well meaning and straightforwardness always. No matter how contrasting or, opposing, your views may be, I’m fully open to what you have to say.

However fixed I admittedly seem, I listen to everything. I mull it through, to try and understand where it came from. Check it out at least. Lots of that is subconscious but not always. Trust me I would love to be wrong, about so many things. In that regard, my ego is flattened out for good.

So please feel no hesitation in letting out whatever comes to mind. We both have passion.

On your final point....I’m doing just that. This is day 7 no acid now. I’m feeling refreshed from the break more by the day but it was choppy a bit, you probably saw me elsewhere how it finished at 14.5 mg’s in 6.5 weeks.

I’ve no regrets. I’ve “explored” these substances since 1996. I’ve never gone quite as deep and long on LSD alone, I really wanted to experience that. I never expected an easy settling grounding.

Crazy thing is, day one, 6 week break, was 1875 ug.

Days 17 & 18 were 155, 145 ug, the most intense trips of the 7930 total by then.

And they talk about tolerance.

Sorry, it’s a big part of my life and documenting it helps me keep track.

So above....in any order...maybe you mistook me? I wasn’t meaning it’s braver to take suicide, that was in jest. I won’t ever look unfavourably on somebody who does.

But obviously it’s long carried a slogan of being the selfish coward’s way out.

My Dad committed suicide by H Overdose aged 3.

My Step Dad was a legendary but genuinely good, increeeedibly hard and known for it gangster, with Bipolar.

He blew his brains with a shotgun when I was 7.

Luckily, I had not learnt to grieve by then. I escaped. But I love my mum I’m all she has, it’s the only thing that really really matters to me, I care about everyone and thing at same time though.

Point- my own life has been insufferable for a good while. Like, no ease, respite, no hope. I feel way more comfortable this week after a fantastic chiropractic Total Body Modification last Friday, but my life force, energy still needs time and help,to come up.

I fight on. Always in hope of survival, comfort, recovery, most of all I want to be there for my mum when she needs me most.

But it hurts so bad too, to go through prolonged spells of being so physically drained, never can breathe, zero immunity, literally starving by definition not figure of speech, with no belief in hope.

Now....I’m not a 13 year old Greyhound in severe pain, back legs gone can’t stand for garden, toilet, stairs etc.

We had BEAUTIFUL Bee put down 2016.

I speak passionately and figuratively, misread literally sometimes.

I just mean, and I appreciate the complexity of ethics in determining allowance to human euthanasia, and I get what you say about the ethical factor of non consentable animals, AND humans.

I don’t have the answers, I’m just an open thinker. I just strongly feel it’s a shame where people who are terminally ill, in monstrous pain, slowly, inevitably dying, have that or one option- Dignitas in Switzerland for £10,000 assisted dying (when Flights reopen lol).

“What’s your plans for the summer?”

“Oh just waiting until,August then I’m hopefully going to Switzerland to comfortably end my suffering in peaceful surroundings, if I make it that long”

I’m not taking piss or trying to be flippant. My Uncle died of stomach and lung tumours 18 months ago. It was terminal. He was in horrific pain for ages, no hope, bedridden, pooing sheets, worse by the day, my dear Aunty looking after him, until he finally passed.

So I was just using the comparison with animals in that sense. Like, imagine if animal, non consent of course yes, Euthanasia was not available or legal, and every time a beloved pet gets to that irrecoverable and unendurable position, the owners would suffer much more emotionally, practically.

I’m not trying to challenge or rebut here. I’ve not got razor witts presently, if ever, lovely pure cannabis vapor and kava high today so dreamy. I just tried to explain my feelings and reasoning a bit.

@birdup.snaildown thanks for your true thoughts, keep that going always. Hope you’re well and set for a restful weekend.
 
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How the hell can you handle high dose acid trips with that shit storm of a life mate?

My life has been no bed of roses, but pretty easy compared to what you describe.

Yet I can't even think about doing psychedelics without suffering a major anxiety attack.






Is it because I is a cunt?
 
Hey FUBAR, I think that how much psychedelics an individual is capable of consuming without that type of reaction is directly proportional to how much control one is capable of surrendering at any given moment in time.
The more I know I don't know what the fuck I'm doing and realize I am just the cosmic surfer, the easier it gets. ⚡
 
How the hell can you handle high dose acid trips with that shit storm of a life mate?

My life has been no bed of roses, but pretty easy compared to what you describe.

Yet I can't even think about doing psychedelics without suffering a major anxiety attack.






Is it because I is a cunt?
It takes some doing. But I was born for it.
 
Poison aint easy either gormur - very few drugs that will kill you for sure rather than just cause painful organ failure\brain damage
I've looked into it. It depends what it is and how much you take
 
@AutoTripper

I'm sorry you have endured such heartache. Don't take this the wrong way but i think there is beauty and truth in suffering. Maybe moreso than a lack of suffering. Life is suffering. I don't like the idea of putting people or animals out of their misery. One of my cats, Sweetheart, has very low white blood cells. She also has a buggered thyroid and an enlarged heart. This causes her to have difficulty breathing. I know her and i know she still wants to be alive. I would never dream of putting her down at this point. She will only get worse. If she gets to a point that i think she doesnt want to live and she has no quality of life, i will stop medicating her. Some people might think this is cruel, to leave her to suffer instead of injecting her with poison. Perhaps it is.

I work with people who are severely disabled. Many people i know dont think these people have any quality of life. Historically, able bodied people suffered. If you lived 2000 years ago, life was more difficult than it is now for someone with advanced muscular dystrophy. I believe there is quality of life in all life. Our inability to see it doesn't prove it doesn't exist.

I don't believe i will ever want to die and if i do ever get to that point, i would take my own life. I dont know if you're familiar with Fear and Loathing but i like the bathtub method. My death would be some variation of this, but i want it to be an intense and powerful experience since it is (most likely) the last experience i will ever have.

There is beauty in suffering. I have been through hell as an addict. There is beauty in desperation and heartache. As someone like yourself, that has consumed a truckload of psychedelics, i have suffered through madness. I have also been an IV heroin addict, an alcoholic and a methadone addict. I injected methamphetamines on and off for 15 years. I have been to hell and i dont regret any of it. It made me the person i am today. My suffering helped me break dowm barriers and strip my ego to the skeleton.

I've also done terrible things. This, too, has helped. Sinners are left with the aftermath of their actions. They have to ask themselves why they did what they did. They have to make sense of it... Are they bad people? Is there such thing as a bad person? Does free will exist?

We are all just biology.

When an animal dies in the forest and there is no one around to project their pain on it, does it suffer like we do?

There is beauty in a wild animal desperately trying to cling on to life and there is beauty when the animal gives up and resigns itself to death.

I don't want to skip my death and i cannot presume that my cat wants to skip hers. I don't think like most people. Cats are not people. Perhaps they think like me.

I don't believe nature is imperfect. I don't believe it requires human intervention.

I've never had a bad trip. I've had shat others would call bad trips. For me, they've always been as beautiful as the good ones.

Some people cannot appreciate pain sexually, but there is beauty there. Pain isn't a mistake. Suffering doesn't need to be erased. Life is perfect and complete. I take the "good" with the "bad".

If anything, i think i learn more from pain than i do from joy. I have one of the most painful medical conditions in the world - trigeminal neuralgia - which i think was caused by meth. I do not take pain killers at the moment. I don't understand why people pop a panadol every time they get a headache. But it (TN) will only get worse. If it gets to a point that is unbearable, i will medicate. Pain is largely psychological. I don't believd i will ever get to a point where the pain is so bad i cant manage it.

I don't understand why people who want to die dont fill themselves up with drugs and go wild. My death run will be a beautifully orchestrated, utterly chaotic circus of insanity.
 
I don't think life is suffering. I just don't think it's very good, meaning one should never expect too much. Suffering in my mind is the state of not knowing something but that can always be addressed while one is alive, at least partially. Of course this is my opinion. I don't fear anything related to death though and if I think about it at all it's pretty comforting
 
I have been to hell and i dont regret any of it. It made me the person i am today.
Amen. I will add, that each visit that I have made there, I have returned to our world with even more possibilities and opportunities.

I've also done terrible things. This, too, has helped. Sinners are left with the aftermath of their actions. They have to ask themselves why they did what they did. They have to make sense of it... Are they bad people? Is there such thing as a bad person? Does free will exist?
I believe there are evil people. People who do not consider their own terrible actions are the result of their free will. They deny, blame, redirect, obfuscate, and fabricate circumstance until they are the victim of it, and their actions are either warranted, could not be avoided, or beyond their ability to stop it from happening. They never try to make sense of it in any way that could make them responsible.

If you have committed acts you wish you could take back, the next best thing is to own those mistakes, to learn from them, and to teach about how you ended up growing from them.

trigeminal neuralgia
Sounds brutal. I am sorry you have to deal with that. I couldn't find anything at all that directly related methamphetamine abuse to the condition, but it is not hard to hypothesize one.
 
I don’t one hundred percent believe in free will either. I also cannot rule it out. I think it’s important for me to deal with that the way I deal with other perpetual uncertainties, I try not to delude myself into thinking I’m in control of anything at all, at the same time I make sure that my behaviors are in line with what I would be happiest doing if I were in fact in control.

I can’t answer that one way or the other. I do know that I have met people in very early adolescence who had already taken that shortcut from responsibility, and having found that they preferred the outcomes of their actions when they were absent any personal negative consequences, adopted this shortcut as a way of life. I think there must be some critical juncture that a person reaches that is between negligent complacency for their wrongdoing, and active encouragement of further wrongdoing, when an evil person adopts the shortcut as a favorable part of their identity.
 
I understand what you're saying but I tend to think that evil people "prefer" to be evil in the same way that depressed people prefer to be depressed. Being evil is essentially a mental illness.
 
I understand what you're saying but I tend to think that evil people "prefer" to be evil in the same way that depressed people prefer to be depressed. Being evil is essentially a mental illness.
I think categorizing good and evil as a preference makes a lot of sense. I recently wrote about my first moral philosophizing as a child, yesterday or the day before. Perhaps it was the stories I had been exposed to by the time I was school age: mythologies, fables, fairy tales, Star Wars, and the Catholic Mass; in any case good and evil people were of paramount importance to me before any other abstract notion was. It is clear to me that I didn’t consider evil behavior to be something I would choose, but I also understood that some people did.
 
For me, evil is defined as a place where no light is capable of entering, like in a demon or in certain dimensional realms. This is based on my own unique perspective/experiences since I don't believe in good and evil as everyday worldly principles; just good as being a positive experience rather than a state of being
 
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@AutoTripper

I'm sorry you have endured such heartache. Don't take this the wrong way but i think there is beauty and truth in suffering. Maybe moreso than a lack of suffering. Life is suffering. I don't like the idea of putting people or animals out of their misery. One of my cats, Sweetheart, has very low white blood cells. She also has a buggered thyroid and an enlarged heart. This causes her to have difficulty breathing. I know her and i know she still wants to be alive. I would never dream of putting her down at this point. She will only get worse. If she gets to a point that i think she doesnt want to live and she has no quality of life, i will stop medicating her. Some people might think this is cruel, to leave her to suffer instead of injecting her with poison. Perhaps it is.

I work with people who are severely disabled. Many people i know dont think these people have any quality of life. Historically, able bodied people suffered. If you lived 2000 years ago, life was more difficult than it is now for someone with advanced muscular dystrophy. I believe there is quality of life in all life. Our inability to see it doesn't prove it doesn't exist.

I don't believe i will ever want to die and if i do ever get to that point, i would take my own life. I dont know if you're familiar with Fear and Loathing but i like the bathtub method. My death would be some variation of this, but i want it to be an intense and powerful experience since it is (most likely) the last experience i will ever have.

There is beauty in suffering. I have been through hell as an addict. There is beauty in desperation and heartache. As someone like yourself, that has consumed a truckload of psychedelics, i have suffered through madness. I have also been an IV heroin addict, an alcoholic and a methadone addict. I injected methamphetamines on and off for 15 years. I have been to hell and i dont regret any of it. It made me the person i am today. My suffering helped me break dowm barriers and strip my ego to the skeleton.

I've also done terrible things. This, too, has helped. Sinners are left with the aftermath of their actions. They have to ask themselves why they did what they did. They have to make sense of it... Are they bad people? Is there such thing as a bad person? Does free will exist?

We are all just biology.

When an animal dies in the forest and there is no one around to project their pain on it, does it suffer like we do?

There is beauty in a wild animal desperately trying to cling on to life and there is beauty when the animal gives up and resigns itself to death.

I don't want to skip my death and i cannot presume that my cat wants to skip hers. I don't think like most people. Cats are not people. Perhaps they think like me.

I don't believe nature is imperfect. I don't believe it requires human intervention.

I've never had a bad trip. I've had shat others would call bad trips. For me, they've always been as beautiful as the good ones.

Some people cannot appreciate pain sexually, but there is beauty there. Pain isn't a mistake. Suffering doesn't need to be erased. Life is perfect and complete. I take the "good" with the "bad".

If anything, i think i learn more from pain than i do from joy. I have one of the most painful medical conditions in the world - trigeminal neuralgia - which i think was caused by meth. I do not take pain killers at the moment. I don't understand why people pop a panadol every time they get a headache. But it (TN) will only get worse. If it gets to a point that is unbearable, i will medicate. Pain is largely psychological. I don't believd i will ever get to a point where the pain is so bad i cant manage it.

I don't understand why people who want to die dont fill themselves up with drugs and go wild. My death run will be a beautifully orchestrated, utterly chaotic circus of insanity.
Hey thanks mate, that was very nice of you to be so open sharing your thoughts and feelings there as typical, as well as the insight into your own past and experiences.

You don’t hide, me neither, and I believe we are stronger for it.

But I really appreciate that and was very interesting to read. I want to add more thought, I wouldn’t say I agree with all points, and that doesn’t mean I disagree at all either.

We just have our own views and beliefs, without any concrete proof, any of us.

However I’m right there currently, so fittingly, balanced on the ropes of life no exaggeration.

It can be frightening, but my will and determination to live is what keeps me going.

Also genuinely traumatic is life when suffering exceeds endurance level and comfort seems so hard to find. My chiropractic appointment last Friday literally bought me some precious time, made me much less uncomfortable since, but my energy, or true life force, is still remarkably low.

Due to digestive and bowel disruptions from multiple Coxsackie viral infections since Flu December on.

My whole guts were twisted, she treated every part of my intestines, hole in one place, no organs or systems were working- spleen, stomach, gall bladder, etc etc, immune, CNS system plus...

I have my second appointment this Tuesday so that’s been my milestone for now. It always has taken 2 to 3 treatments at such advanced stages, to get the engine running smoothly again and pick back up.

That’s the plan now. Acupuncture too, very very helpful for gut, allergy, immune and energy issues, available in over a week.

I hauled myself from such a ditch today I never thought would be achievable. I amaze myself so many times like this.

Hence....I haven’t the brain power intellect to justly respond to most of your interesting points here, I will try and comeback to this.

I honestly was right there, as intense as ever, when I read your post, feeling with all my being that Im surely going to die or wished for it almost.

So you can imagine, that’s an interesting lens to look through, weighing up sides of these arguments. Guess I need time to process that, get some energy.

@birdup.snaildown hope the weekend is going well for yourself, and sorry for your own nerve pain condition. It didn’t surprise me to hear that though, not because you’ve given it away. I mean, the fact that you haven’t if that makes sense.
 
I've been dead once before. Billions of years in fact. I did not like it at all I must say.
 
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