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Why SO FEW recovery stories? Stay AWAY from MDMA!

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thiago_gp

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Jan 9, 2017
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Guys,

I'm desperate.. I'm with the same symptoms people are complaining here (anhedonia, tinnitus, moderate depression, DP/DR, HPPD, lack of focus and lost verbal memory).

I've been looking throughly in the forum for stories of people that recovered, and I only found one guy that said the symptoms went away after 5 years of hard work. Only one.

I'm scared since there're very few recovery stories here and there and most of them are not very motivational - people say they only got "a bit" better. I'd like to hear from someone else whom REALLY got recovered.. Or maybe if you heard of someone that went through the same and got back to baseline, even if it was after some years. I just need to hear that, my life is really being a nightmare lately.


Thanks.
 
I'm the opposite; I'm surprised at the amount of people having issues, because it really does not tally with my experience with MDMA culture at all.
 
Maybe because to my surprise people aren't as stupid as it may seem and don't abuse MDMA enough to need to recover ? Unless what you mean is you want more of those threads to get your hope going ? MDMA does what it does, if you abuse you pay the price.
 
Most people who go on to recover tend to stop coming to bluelight and moving on with their lives. Hence don't come back to report how they feel better, perhaps as they don't want to be reminded of their experiences.

You will get better, theres no set time limit but I'd give yourself at the very least 6 months to work on your recovery.

I'm over a year on now and I feel immensely better. I still have occasional bouts of anxiety here and there but this is just as a result of being stuck in a bad frame of mind for so long. I've no doubt it will go away completely given how much improvement I've had. Speak to cotcha on the recovery thread. Cotcha is very clued up on the subject and helped put my mind at ease.
 
Tranced said:
I'm the opposite; I'm surprised at the amount of people having issues, because it really does not tally with my experience with MDMA culture at all.
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Yo, this. Recover from what? Man I had such a good time and now I don't know what to do...
 
Durzo1258 said:
Maybe because to my surprise people aren't as stupid as it may seem and don't abuse MDMA enough to need to recover ? Unless what you mean is you want more of those threads to get your hope going ? MDMA does what it does, if you abuse you pay the price.
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Whats with the insensitivity? We don't know to what extent OP abused the drug or whether he took something untested or not. Some people have bad reactions to it. Its rare no doubt, but it still happens.
 
I busted my shoulder once from a spear tackle. It still clicks and locks and is painful 20 yr later. No point going onto the Internet and complaining about it, what's done is done. If you've suffered irreversible brain damage from abusing a drug it's sad but at some point you need to move on and live your life

As for warning everyone to not take MDMA? Good luck with that one. I've used it for 20 odd years with no ill effects and would recommend it to anyone of sound mind and body
 
Durzo1258
A lot of people on this board have experienced negative effects of MDMA without abusing, it's all about brain chemistry, people can and have died taking a small dose p, it's all about the reaction, some people are lucky enough to not be effected, others are not, so could you please respect the people who aren't as lucky.
Im in the exact situation as the OP. I DIDNT abuse MDMA, I took around 300mg in two doses over the course of a night. The OP is clearly distressed, how about trying to help him rather than make such ignorant comments.

Some posters are are quick to make assumptions to protect their precious drugs, ho and fucking pathetic.

OP. best advice I could give you is exercise, keep Heathly, don't become obsessed about what's happened. Don't look for progress as you are going to be disappointed to begin with. Knowyour limitations, life will be a little different now. The good news is, stop taking drugs and you'll probably get better.
 
The vast, vast majority of people with adverse effects recover, its really just a matter of time and encouraging the process. I really recommend mindfulness - not just practicing it in concentrated sessions with guided recordings, but learning to apply it throughout the day.

Cardio, a good diet (think protein, good fats and good carbs with a multivitamin occasionally) and good sleep (which can indeed be very difficult for some) and mindfulness are things to throw yourself into. Maybe come post in the recovery thread about your specific symptoms so we can help you out there? If you find yourself thinking a lot or talking to yourself in your head a lot for example, those would be great things to talk about.
 
If it's any help, I used to be a very heavy MDMA user (we're talking thousands of pills) and after the first big wave of clubbing and pills I got super depressed for about 2 years. Also a tonne of speed in there so it's not just technically MDMA but eventually it went away and I fully recovered. It was during the last year of my degree and the first year of my PhD and the mental application of working reversed most of the mental deficits almost immediately (I worked HARD .. to help me escape the depression and because of the fear of penury i.e. being really ****** poor). I did a very impressive PhD in mathematics with absolutely no prior maths experience (I flunked out cos I was high on speed!) .. mental deficits be damned!

The second massive MDMA wave I didn't get any withdrawal or side effects from at all. I just got bored of MDMA. If I ever had any mental deficits from that run they didn't bother me or hold me back.

Don't focus on the problems .. focus on what you want. It will help immensely, and all the best for your recovery!
 
Don't focus on the problems .. focus on what you want. It will help immensely, and all the best for your recovery!
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Good advice there. I haven't suffered from abusing MDMA (aside from 5 day come downs which put me off using it often, not even sure if Ill ever roll again), but I have suffered brain damage from other drugs (including a horrific benzo wd) and while recovery takes time a big turning point in my recovery always seems to be traced back to the day I moved on with my life and began to focus on other things besides how brain damaged I felt. You may not ever go back to how you felt before MDMA, but instead of making that your goal, just make it your goal to enjoy your life and be thankful for what you do have. Then one day you might realize you are actually happier and more content with life than you were before the brain damage.
 
Tranced said:
I'm the opposite; I'm surprised at the amount of people having issues, because it really does not tally with my experience with MDMA culture at all.
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StoneHappyMonday said:
Yo, this. Recover from what? Man I had such a good time and now I don't know what to do...
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augustaB said:
Gee guys I don't know what you guys have been taking, but these stories do not tally with my experience at all.
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I have to admit these stories do not make any sense to me either - if there was such a problem surrounding the drug then it would be have been highlighted by now. I am not saying it is safe or it is without it's dangers either but I do feel that this section blows the side effects and what some people would call a come down out of proportion.

I know I often get hated on for saying that - I'm not saying that every person that has these long term problems is lying or incorrect either. Some of these posts are based on one or a couple of pills in a session which doesn't make sense.
 
I don't know what to make of the stories, honestly but this forum has put me off from using MDMA. I took it twice this past summer to help me deal with emotional trauma and while I found the mental state it induced very healing, both times I experienced some of the symptoms described here for 5 days following the roll. I recovered fully after the 5 days but reading the stories on here of people feeling like that for months or years has made me scared to take it again. DUring those 5 days periods I was scared I would become one of those people.
 
burn out said:
I don't know what to make of the stories, honestly but this forum has put me off from using MDMA. I took it twice this past summer to help me deal with emotional trauma and while I found the mental state it induced very healing, both times I experienced some of the symptoms described here for 5 days following the roll. I recovered fully after the 5 days but reading the stories on here of people feeling like that for months or years has made me scared to take it again. DUring those 5 days periods I was scared I would become one of those people.
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I really understand that feeling .. from speed I used to get these week long hellish depressions. Seriously .. I'd have considered suicide if I thought it was anything like permanent. I'd often just flick from happy as hell to the most depressed person imaginable until finally somebody who was getting annoyed with me just told me to snap out of it and stop focusing on it (then were nice to me to help me along afterwards). And I did .. and I've rarely ever had them (as comedowns) since. To be honest I think it's because your emotional state has continuity .. i.e. what you felt like just before is the best guess of what you'll feel like now. Chucking a hard drug in there is like throwing a hand grenade into your emotional state, and it's very understandable if it wobbles hard for a bit afterwards. With MDMA I recommend taking a small second dose and getting somewhere quiet and safe in order to try and smooth the comedowns. I'm not going to say what I used to do .. as it's irresponsible and unnecessary. I got away with it, but I can believe others may not.

As to MDMA being a drug to avoid. That's obviously a personal choice, and for some people it may be the unquestionably correct choice, but if you're going to do recreational drugs it's probably one of the better ones to do. Unlike amphetamine / meth or even coke it is fundamentally self limiting as if you keep taking pills in a session they stop working after about two days (did that for years!) and longer term eventually you just loose interest in them as it isn't that fun any more (did that too). Also the buzz itself is very empathic and can help a lot socially - I have friends and ex-girl friends from that period in my life I still see and who I treasure greatly. I met them in clubs for crissakes! It is not the same story for most other drugs except psychedelics .. and I regard them as considerably more risky in terms of emotional well being.

Best of luck to all. If you're regularly having hard times with a drug(s) it's generally a good idea to be cautious with all drugs! and I include pharmaceuticals in that of course!
 
Thank you guys, some of the replies were very encouraging, albeit not everyone here understand how terrible it is to be in this condition.

I haven't abused MDMA too much like some of the people here - I thought that having it every weekend would be fine, until one day I dropped 3 pills in one night, felt VERY moody and strange and immediately wanted to go back home.. This day was hell for me, I got like 20% better, I'm in month 7 and I still haven't seen much improvements.

I thought of suicide constantly afraid of being in this state for the rest of my life, I've lost many friends, lost a wife, had to go back to my mother as I wasn't being able to manage living alone anymore, I'm keeping a job with very much effort... I really try hard to go out and exercise but the depression and tiredness are huge, the tinnitus is soooo annoying, GOD DAMMIT I'm going crazy with all of this.

That's why I abominate this drug so much now and would highly advise everyone to keep away from it, even though you notice it's not harming it doesn't mean damage is not being done on a cellular-level. You only notice yourself going nuts after this one day, this one night, it doesn't happen gradually AFAIK, it happens all of a sudden like a bomb.

.. And yes, seeing recovery stories kind of keep me going and give me hope that all of this will pass one day, and a valuable lesson will be left from all of this: To make better choices in life.

I really want to hear more from you, hear from people that are victorious now because it serves as an example too for others that everything will be fine.
 
PillsAndKills said:
Whats with the insensitivity? We don't know to what extent OP abused the drug or whether he took something untested or not. Some people have bad reactions to it. Its rare no doubt, but it still happens.
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You could say the same about the OPs post with capital STAY AWAY. If MDMA is known for causing issues and often not even being MDMA you have to accept that taking it without testing / taking it at all carries risks. Most posts concerning recovery are about abuse not I "did it once and it ruined my life". Taking drugs in general isn't the safest thing you can do. And OP doesn't give say much about circumstances which caused his issues, no description, to me his posts gives an impression of a person who knows they fucked up and now wants to read recovery stories to get his hopes up. That may not be the case, but he didn't write much to convince me otherwise.

thiago_gp said:
.. And yes, seeing recovery stories kind of keep me going and give me hope that all of this will pass one day, and a valuable lesson will be left from all of this: To make better choices in life.

I really want to hear more from you, hear from people that are victorious now because it serves as an example too for others that everything will be fine.
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Sorry to be that guy but your first source of help should be a medical professional, not hope raising posts on a drug related forums. You did it every weekend, I don't know if you read anything about the drug and just ignored the warning or didn't even do that much. It doesn't matter now, that time has passed, and it might sound harsh but reading posts here won't actually help, and building your hope up isn't the way to go. Because everything might not be fine. Hope for the best plan for the worse. And that includes looking for help where you can get actual help, not few warm words that change nothing but the way you feel.
 
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If you read the previous threads, you will see there are many people who consider themselves to have achieved a full recovery (although we will never know, but if they feel 100%, then that is all that matters)

Then you will see more people who will say they have recovered 80-90% and they are happy with it, for instance they may only be left with a single symptom such as HPPD.

It can feel fucked up because 7 months is suppose to be a long time right, but in actuality it is such little time and you will recover a lot more if you give yourself a long time.
 
One Thousand Words said:
I busted my shoulder once from a spear tackle. It still clicks and locks and is painful 20 yr later. No point going onto the Internet and complaining about it, what's done is done. If you've suffered irreversible brain damage from abusing a drug it's sad but at some point you need to move on and live your life

As for warning everyone to not take MDMA? Good luck with that one. I've used it for 20 odd years with no ill effects and would recommend it to anyone of sound mind and body
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I don't think it is useful to make comparisons between long-term shoulder injuries and permanent brain damage...
 
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