i may be the old lady on this thread. 16 was a long time ago. but i remember it being very painful, awkward, difficult. people tell you do do what you love, but i didn't even know what i loved until my mid twenties, when i found a niche and made a real contribution. until then, i was pretty miserable unless i was completely on my lips, and even then sometimes. becoming self-sufficient is better than any anti-depressant. the feeling of empowerment is the ultimate rush! but it's not automatic, or instantaneous. i've rarely met anyone your age who has experienced it.
until very recently, certainly within the last century, it would not have been unusual at all for a person your age to be considered an adult. to perhaps be starting a family. certainly to be fully carrying your own weight, with extensive responsibilities to yourself and your family. as we become more technologically advanced, and require that everyone extend their schooling to adapt to a tech world, we keep our kids in a position of dependence for many years longer than is traditional, or maybe even natural. i think it's a major source of teen angst. just mho.
i think i'm here, and that we're all here, to discover our god/dessness. to realize that we are not separate entities, but are completely merged with each other and All-ness. cyc is absolutely correct to assert that death is inevitable. no need to choose it. it will choose you. but, i don't see how it could be the end. simple physics. matter and energy (us) are enterchangeable, but they never end. ever. the matter and energy that are you have been a million things before, and will be a million things after. death is no escape, just a transition.
i'll have my 40th birthday this summer, and i gotta tell ya, everything just keeps getting better. if i was still as miserable as i was in my teens, i'd probably have opted out years ago. twenties were a major improvement, but my thirties have been just incredible! i'm excited about what the next decade will bring.
i hope you find the courage to face your tomorrows until you get to a place where you look forward to them. i wish you peace.