• Philosophy and Spirituality
    Welcome Guest
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules
    Threads of Note Socialize
  • P&S Moderators: Xorkoth | Madness

Why Don't You Want To Die?

vegan said:
sorry not to give a reasonable harm reduction advice

but since you're set on dying before age takes you away (which i won't argue with as i understand and feel similar), please consider keeping a paper on you explaining that the overdose was meant and that the drugs are not to blame
thank you
Click to expand...

Thats actually not a bad idea. Kinda like a DNR card? (Which I have)
 
Most people would say they want to live because of various things they enjoy in life, and they feel like anyone who's suicidal just needs to find something they want to live for. What you can't understand until you've been there is that when your brain chemistry is so out of whack, there is absolutely nothing that seems worth living for. Future pleasure seems not worth the risk of future pain. I've actually had someone tell me he doesn't want a better job, or a new girlfriend, because at some point he'd lose the good thing and be hurt again. So he wouldn't enjoy it if he got it because he'd just be waiting for something bad to happen.

I never understood this until I was near 40, and hit some kind of mid life crisis which led to a deep depression. I didn't try to kill myself but I really didn't see anything to live for either. I remember going on a road trip and driving carefully on the ice, then realizing the irony of that. So I asked my passenger, "You don't care if you die today right?" She said "Right." I said "Okay, then we're driving 90 all the way home, fuck it." Got into a spinout and almost went under an 18 wheeler but I pulled it out in time. LOL. It was an interesting trip.

Anyway I'm not sure where I'm at now. I have gotten back the "wanting to live" feeling even though objectively I have even less to live for than I did before. It really is brain chemistry, and perception does not always correlate well to reality.
 
not a speedball, that would be a gruesome way out,

heroin ftw. watch the latest zeitgeist, it made me even more anti system and, one reason for going on is my way ofsaying fuck the system, because its the system making me feel shit. nothing will fix this, i'm getting to the point i'd rather write a note and explain why i choose death over life.
 
its becose of these two mofos,Amigodala and Hippocampus
 
Because I still believe that tomorrow might be a better day
 
I do not want to die because quite frankly, I have already spent the vast portion of my life with a very evident death wish. It took relentlessly nearing the brink of death to make me realize how divine life truly can be—and how many years I took it all for granted. As much as I understand that life will be a struggle until my passing, I honestly believe that I experienced what most would call a miracle, a re-birth, and an appreciation for the universe that I (and others) never really thought possible for a gal like me. To decline something like that is pure foolishness.
 
because the universe wills me to life

and i am a manifestation of the universe's will

to be as complete within my harmony with this universe around me, i must seek oneness with the universe in all things in life
 
Way too busy at the moment.

And it would assuredly be such a time-consuming bore - an eternity of unawareness. Bleh.
 
Last edited:
P A said:
Way too busy at the moment.

And it would assuredly be such a time-consuming bore - an eternity of unawareness. Bleh.
Click to expand...

Exceptional and humorous response!
2udx44y.jpg
Haha.
"Fuck, man. I'm too busy to die!"
 
I don't wanna die because it could possibly be the most uncomfortable experience humanly possible.
AFTER death is another matter entirely, and that I look forward to. But getting old, diseased and invalid imo will really, really suck.. at least physically speaking. Let's hope we don't contract some mental illness along with it, and stay relatively sane.
My belief is that consciousness, as an energy, is untransmutable (eternal) and we remain forever a sentient being.
 
My reason for not dying is because I would hurt my parents and wife way too much, and I love them too much to let that happen. One other reason is I love Heroin way too much to die :)

That is also the reason I am very careful when IV'ing Heroin. I always test the new batch out, and I know my limits.
 
I dont want to die because I fear what will come next. I dont want to leave this world, because there is so much to explore.
 
I want to rule a country/the world or atleast have massive influence to get things done properly and have this species make real progression. And ive got people in my life i dearly love, who love me, and i would hate to put them through the loss of myself, and deny them the right to not ever see me again.
 
I have too much stuff left to do....
And as someone else said...my bird would starve to death, because my husband would forget to feed him.
I am also terrified of the pain that might come with it.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top