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Why does it feel so lonely...

December Flower said:
I am not a ray of sunshine. I have legs, feet, arms, hands, the works.
I do not consist of photons, although other people might see me as photons being reflected off my surface - in that regard I would very well be multiple rays of sunshine/artificial light being combined and reflected on the surface of my body/clothes, true. At least my outward appearance would suggest so, although I am made of flesh and blood, bones, muscles, skin, water, etc

edit: O also I am not a "Girl". I have it all: male genitalia, peeing while standing, hogging blankets, being an ass to females, the works.
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You’re whatever you say you are, that’s the beauty of forums. Boy, girl therapist, Marine.
 
Waxworth said:
you feel less lonely when nature and the trees love you.
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deficiT said:
I've been loving watching the colorful leaves fall down in my back yard as of late.
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nature loving you is not a prerequisite for its beauty
nature will continue with or without you

finding beauty in nature is finding beauty in the moment...
beauty within your own consciousness....
that's the real lesson... IMO
nature is a mirror
 
yea but it doesn't mean the trees don't love me, snafagus.
I wasn't trying to debate the nature of nature, I was just saying something fleeting in the moment like you said or something. I don't know. all i'm saying is nature and the trees love me.
 
gram696969 said:
Why does it feel so lonely? Even when I`m stoned out of my fucken wits, or so drunk I forget to breathe, I`m always overwhelmed with a crippling sense of loneliness. Ive never had a fucken girlfriend either where as anybody else I know can basically choose girls! Its fucked, and I hate everything. Not really, but holy shit is it ever hard not to.
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It won't always be that way.

You always have to look at the brighter side of things. You are alive, probably healthy, have a place to live, etc.

There are people right now living in the cold, sick, no food, poor health.

Life will continue to push you down if you let it.
 
wudbutcher said:
Lack of compassion, robotic. 👍
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There's more to this metaphor than a robot.
As Daleks only look like robots, but are actually organic beings inside their shell,
so I am as well. I might seem robotic, but I am not. I am very compassionate, if unable to show it adequately, although I am trying. And saying that I am not is striking exactly the core of my insecurities. It's a lot easier in written form, but I struggle a lot with building the "right" sentences.
And you might think that this is all in good fun, but it's not.
Your comments have very often reached a point that is both insulting and hurtful, even if/especially because you're not realizing it. I told you of my AS & that I'm often just imitating shows/other people when I speak/write, in order TO NOT SOUND LIKE A FUCKING ROBOT, so I sometimes will use sentences at the wrong place, I even apologized for using words the only way I can, and you are still to this day proceding to bother and bug me wherever I go. I wanted to help you, use my medical degree for something good, and I rue having had any compassion for you in the first place. It would have saved me from getting insulted wherever I go.

edit: Enough is enough. You have made fun of the mentally challenged kid. Applause. Now grow up.
 
Last edited:
A couple of years ago, I've done Solitude - A Return to the Self (Anthony Storr) and recall that it was a decent read, and not exactly what i thought it would be, an ode to solitude, but quite a balanced perspective/study on the topic. Probably more for the analytical minded (like me). 📖
 
wudbutcher said:
Mokele
That last one hit home hard. Not much consolation, I hope you realize how blessed you were to have experienced that. So many stars had to align for you and your One to have stuck and stayed. That’s goodness friend.
Folks walk through this life more often than not having never experienced that. Or worse yet, catch a glimpse and either it’s a mirage, or timing isn’t right. Too fragile for life’s bumps and bruises.
You’re blessed.
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Agreed! But isnt +10y a bit short?? I didnt ask for consolation. Doesnt change shit but is a sign of respect and compassion.
It wasnt just fun, last years were terrible!!!
Just being able to watch and not be able to control it? Kept her home as long as possible.
But when organs start shutting down and you stand in ICU, no i dont want to write this and remember it so vivid all over again.
The question remains....is catching a glimps of paradise ,then being chucked away again better than not glimpsing and not having to go through the PAIN everyday you open your eyes? I aint rich, cant afford changing Apartments or ditching all furniture, i even still sleep in our big bed which we saved up and bought together. Its TOO DAMN EMPTY. MISSING!!! I probably have more reason to just follow than Sonic? ( forgot username).
Just blankin my Mind but when that stops working.....???
Sorry for the rant
 
December Flower said:
There's more to this metaphor than a robot.
As Daleks only look like robots, but are actually organic beings inside their shell,
so I am as well. I might seem robotic, but I am not. I am very compassionate, if unable to show it adequately, although I am trying. And saying that I am not is striking exactly the core of my insecurities. It's a lot easier in written form, but I struggle a lot with building the "right" sentences.
And you might think that this is all in good fun, but it's not.
Your comments have very often reached a point that is both insulting and hurtful, even if/especially because you're not realizing it. I told you of my AS & that I'm often just imitating shows/other people when I speak/write, in order TO NOT SOUND LIKE A FUCKING ROBOT, so I sometimes will use sentences at the wrong place, I even apologized for using words the only way I can, and you are still to this day proceding to bother and bug me wherever I go. I wanted to help you, use my medical degree for something good, and I rue having had any compassion for you in the first place. It would have saved me from getting insulted wherever I go.

edit: Enough is enough. You have made fun of the mentally challenged kid. Applause. Now grow up.
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@wudbutcher I haven't seen y'alls conflict in other threads, but please try and be nice to each other in TDS. I'm not really picking sides here because I don't have the full context, but this is just a gentle reminder for everybody. Definitely don't make fun of mentally challenged folks.
 
So, loneliness has to do with connection. Quality over quantity. All you need is even just ONE person you feel you have a connection with. How do you form a connection? You build intimacy by sharing things. Hopefully they share things back. You gradually move from “the weather is shit today” to “I don’t like it when people cut me off in traffic” to perhaps talking about yourself and your upbringing.

Granted, finding even that ONE person is hard. That’s kind of why I like to spam this forum when I’m sad and lonely. I share things, you guys share things, I feel a connection. We are all lonely- I feel connected to you guys because we all feel the same way sometimes.

If you have a person and you still feel lonely then you’ve lost your connection and you need to build intimacy again. Not physically, psychologically. Share things. Validate each other. Talk to one another. Tell them why they’re special to you. Do things together you both enjoy. Blah blah blah...
 
Sirena Oscura said:
So, loneliness has to do with connection. Quality over quantity. All you need is even just ONE person you feel you have a connection with. How do you form a connection? You build intimacy by sharing things. Hopefully they share things back. You gradually move from “the weather is shit today” to “I don’t like it when people cut me off in traffic” to perhaps talking about yourself and your upbringing.

Granted, finding even that ONE person is hard. That’s kind of why I like to spam this forum when I’m sad and lonely. I share things, you guys share things, I feel a connection. We are all lonely- I feel connected to you guys because we all feel the same way sometimes.

If you have a person and you still feel lonely then you’ve lost your connection and you need to build intimacy again. Not physically, psychologically. Share things. Validate each other. Talk to one another. Tell them why they’re special to you. Do things together you both enjoy. Blah blah blah...
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Wise words!
 
mokele said:
Agreed! But isnt +10y a bit short?? I didnt ask for consolation. Doesnt change shit but is a sign of respect and compassion.
It wasnt just fun, last years were terrible!!!
Just being able to watch and not be able to control it? Kept her home as long as possible.
But when organs start shutting down and you stand in ICU, no i dont want to write this and remember it so vivid all over again.
The question remains....is catching a glimps of paradise ,then being chucked away again better than not glimpsing and not having to go through the PAIN everyday you open your eyes? I aint rich, cant afford changing Apartments or ditching all furniture, i even still sleep in our big bed which we saved up and bought together. Its TOO DAMN EMPTY. MISSING!!! I probably have more reason to just follow than Sonic? ( forgot username).
Just blankin my Mind but when that stops working.....???
Sorry for the rant
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My apologies if I offended Moke. Memories and broken heart not much compensation, I know. Sometimes the only reward for doing the right thing is the knowledge that we did. I’m where you are I think, mourning a different kind of death is all, and your post brought it back Sorry
 
deficiT said:
@wudbutcher I haven't seen y'alls conflict in other threads, but please try and be nice to each other in TDS. I'm not really picking sides here because I don't have the full context, but this is just a gentle reminder for everybody. Definitely don't make fun of mentally challenged folks.
Click to expand...
Def, you can read entire convo if you following me. Delete what you find bullying. I ask only that you know this, I don’t sugarcoat. I simply pointed out that diagnosis by another party without
A. All the information
B. A shred of compassion
C. Request for said diagnosis
isn’t helpful, but blocks the path to HR completely in many cases.
 
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