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Why does it feel so lonely...

Mokele
That last one hit home hard. Not much consolation, I hope you realize how blessed you were to have experienced that. So many stars had to align for you and your One to have stuck and stayed. That’s goodness friend.
Folks walk through this life more often than not having never experienced that. Or worse yet, catch a glimpse and either it’s a mirage, or timing isn’t right. Too fragile for life’s bumps and bruises.
You’re blessed.
 
gram696969 said:
Why does it feel so lonely? Even when I`m stoned out of my fucken wits, or so drunk I forget to breathe, I`m always overwhelmed with a crippling sense of loneliness. Ive never had a fucken girlfriend either where as anybody else I know can basically choose girls! Its fucked, and I hate everything. Not really, but holy shit is it ever hard not to.
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I've always told myself that loneliness doesn't really bother me (cue Bukowski poem). I'm the definition of an introvert... I feel more comfortable alone.... that doesn't mean I'm not lonely.

I'm 31 and I've also never really had a real "girlfriend" either. I've certainly had many random, drug fueled sexual encounters and "fuck buddies" but I've never had a real "girlfriend" either. It was all about sex, not human connection or meaning. Now I'm wondering if I'll ever get married or have kids. The clock is ticking.

You aren't alone, friend.

I tell myself it gets better, things will change.... I can only hope I'm not lying to myself. I'm a pessimist... I'm sure I'm wrong.

edit: just realized I already posted on this thread the other day..... lol life gets weird when you're blacked out every day... I'll leave this post up because they are both valid
 
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I think that’s a common characteristic we share. Only we call it realism. Safer to not believe in miracles.
 
SnafuInTheVoid said:
I've always told myself that loneliness doesn't really bother me (cue Bukowski poem). I'm the definition of an introvert... I feel more comfortable alone.... that doesn't mean I'm not lonely.

I'm 31 and I've also never really had a real "girlfriend" either. I've certainly had many random, drug fueled sexual encounters and "fuck buddies" but I've never had a real "girlfriend" either. It was all about sex, not human connection or meaning. Now I'm wondering if I'll ever get married or have kids. The clock is ticking.

You aren't alone, friend.

I tell myself it gets better, things will change.... I can only hope I'm not lying to myself. I'm a pessimist... I'm sure I'm wrong.

edit: just realized I already posted on this thread the other day..... lol life gets weird when you're blacked out every day... I'll leave this post up because they are both valid
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I have never had sex, ive never kissed a girl and the only girl Ive ever felt any sort of physical warmness from is my own mother. I sure do feel alone man..
 
gram696969 said:
I have never had sex, ive never kissed a girl and the only girl Ive ever felt any sort of physical warmness from is my own mother. I sure do feel alone man..
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I'm sorry man... the only question I have is how old are you? It's never too late, regardless. I lost my virginity at 15 and it was an awkward experience I wish I forgot. I think I posted about it here. I lost my virginity and also made the girl run out of my house at 3am, half naked, crying in the same night. LOL. I guess I have a way with women....

I guess age matters because it's what everyone judges their life achievements by.

In the end age doesn't matter either.

Still, you are not alone.
 
gram696969 said:
I dont know.... It seems anybody I talk to is unpleased with how their lives turned out. If thats life, I dont want it.
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I find people who are content with their lives don't tend to talk about it as much. They aren't looking for a change and have no need to really vent. Life is rough for everyone but overall it is possible to be happy.

You do have to work for it though. Set realistic goals, work hard, evaluate risks, be willing to sacrifice. Think where you want to be 5 years out and what it would take to make it happen. Yeah it sounds like some BS corporate nonsense, but it is true.

gram696969 said:
I have never had sex, ive never kissed a girl and the only girl Ive ever felt any sort of physical warmness from is my own mother. I sure do feel alone man..
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It depends on what you want. If it's just sex you might as well get a hooker. Like others have said though it won't be fulfilling. To get an actual stable long-term relationship you need to have something to offer in return. Which gets back to setting/achieving goals.

Also if you're at all geeky I'd recommend reading "The Red Queen" book on sexual selection. Things make a lot more sense when you know what game you're even playing.

SnafuInTheVoid said:
I lost my virginity and also made the girl run out of my house at 3am, half naked, crying in the same night. LOL. I guess I have a way with women....
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That's actually kind of impressive, now I really wanna know what you said :LOL: I learned early on to just sleep right after to avoid doing anything dumb. Or just be so intoxicated that I'm completely incoherent, although that tends to cause other problems. One time, after a shit ton of shrooms, I kept thinking my partner was me. Her face would look like mine and her personality would change. Awkward doesn't even begin to describe it.
 
some of the people here have an idea of what you can do.
for me my suggestion is, if you watch porn or masturbate, particularly often, it can increase those feelings of loneliness. On the other hand not doing so, working out, and getting a job can make you more attractive and suitable for friendship and the possibility of finding a relationship.
 
deficiT said:
Not sure if i'm BPD or bipolar 2 but it sucks. I also had no stability, moved a lot. Orphan. Either way it sucks. Loneliness is inevitable, because in the end, no one can really get fully in your head to get to know the REAL you.
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depends how much you want people to know.
 
quaalMan said:
That's actually kind of impressive, now I really wanna know what you said :LOL:
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I was drunk and she came over at like 3am. We had sex then laid in bed.

Now, I was not attracted to this girl at all. She didn't even have that great of a personality. I selfishly just wanted to have sex.

I was so excited to have sex for the first time I drunkenly blurted out "will you be my girlfriend?". She very happily said yes. Then I immediately realized my mistake and seconds later told her "I'm sorry, I didn't mean that... I'm drunk".

She immediately burst into years and ran out of the house half naked and called her friend to pick her up.

I still feel incredibly bad for doing that. I hope she's doing ok... Probably hates men because of me.
 
Jesus. I`m not sure if this website is helping me see my problems or helping me see that everybody has problems. Probably both. Sounds dumb, but whenever I`m faced with an important thought like that, I try to break through on acid or something. Really helps me see it all in one place at the same time on the same frequency, y`know? If I don`t reply tonight, I`m tripping trying to figure out my life.
 
gram696969 said:
Why does it feel so lonely? Even when I`m stoned out of my fucken wits, or so drunk I forget to breathe, I`m always overwhelmed with a crippling sense of loneliness. Ive never had a fucken girlfriend either where as anybody else I know can basically choose girls! Its fucked, and I hate everything. Not really, but holy shit is it ever hard not to.
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Nothing to do with girls I'm afraid gram - I'm been lonely as a motherfucker even with a lady. Seems something we have to learn to live with - I find solace in tripping and walking in the countryside - you feel less lonely when you seem to have a connection to nature.
 
gram696969 said:
Jesus. I`m not sure if this website is helping me see my problems or helping me see that everybody has problems. Probably both. Sounds dumb, but whenever I`m faced with an important thought like that, I try to break through on acid or something. Really helps me see it all in one place at the same time on the same frequency, y`know? If I don`t reply tonight, I`m tripping trying to figure out my life.
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To some extent, maybe. But on this site you just have a big pile of people with problems. Having problems & using drugs/escaping reality go hand in hand like mother and child.
 
wudbutcher said:
Girl, you’re just a ray of effin’ sunshine aintcha?
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I am not a ray of sunshine. I have legs, feet, arms, hands, the works.
I do not consist of photons, although other people might see me as photons being reflected off my surface - in that regard I would very well be multiple rays of sunshine/artificial light being combined and reflected on the surface of my body/clothes, true. At least my outward appearance would suggest so, although I am made of flesh and blood, bones, muscles, skin, water, etc

edit: O also I am not a "Girl". I have it all: male genitalia, peeing while standing, hogging blankets, being an ass to females, the works.
 
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