I do drugs because I've just given up; there's nothing that means anything to me anymore, really.
I tried to do the whole college/profession thing and uh, it didn't work, or maybe I just stopped caring, or maybe both. I mean, I'm something like six credits away from taking my degree and graduating, but then to earn my teaching certificate there's more hoops I'll need to jump through. I guess doing all of this and succeeding in some profession was my dream at one time, maybe even writing a book, but then one day it just occurred to me... fuck it.
I'm serious, fuck it, that's what occurred to me one day. I just suddenly realized that even if I did succeed in some profession and settled down, had a family, I might not be happy anyway... my wife might two-time me, my kids might grow up to hate me, my house might be taken away in a hurricane or tornado. It can all be taken away from you in a blink of an eye, so why bother? Hell, there's always going to be someone smarter than you anyway, right? Someone who did it first, someone who did it better...
So you know what? I dropped it all, man. I stopped going to school, yep, six credits away from graduating... I walked away from my internship. I stopped paying my bills. I found two part-time jobs, and I spend all of that money on drugs. Yep, all of it on drugs... I don't care if my checking account is negative one hundred dollars, negative one thousand dollars, negative one million dollars!
I just don't care anymore.