Why Do We Treat Heroin Addicts Like They Deserve to Die?

yeah very good article basically sums up why some humans are such pieces of shit to others. What's there to do about this though when it is intentionally set up this way by others? The drug trade, Law enforcement, big pharma, prison industry, government all have a hand in the same setup (The drug war), along with greed and capitalism, these people have tremendous power, global influence and i imagine will not be easily swayed by appeals to humanity. I'm sure some people in earnest believe in the drug war but i bet the large majority know why we keep this charade up. If those people in power have to identify with heroin addicts as human beings equal to themselves then there's no way they could keep this drug war up, of course they don't give a fuck in the first place which is the real problem IMO.

it's not going to be like Germany's destruction, this drug war can play out forever unless enough actual people put a stop to it as in some sort of revolution.

 

So you're saying that society will always need a human outlet to turn to (or to turn on) when they don't fully understand the origins of something "bad" which is affecting them?

Example - 1342 (the black death - God is punishing us for our sins), 1692 (Salem witch trials - children behaving badly), early 20th century (cannabis made illegal - allegedly, some dink killed his mother with an axe while baked), etc.

So in this case, heroin addicts deserve to die because they rob, cheat, steal, or lie (among other things) to get their fix (an opioid which is cut with impurities)?

^^ IMO, a stupid reason to condemn a person to death. People can be so cruel. A different breed of people, or so it seems. The same kind who yell to a person - who's considering suicide by falling to his/her death - to jump.

I think this scape goating thing was something Danielle Allen wrote about, framing it in terms of civil society in ancient Greece. It has to do with "justice," as vengeance, revenge cleansing, rejuvenation, etc, where one member of the community was stoned/more or less sacrificed so that civil society remained cohesive and strong in the face of those "bad" events (famine, natural disaster, etc - especially in cases where it's wasn't any individual doing anything specific to another, as in one person stealing from another).

Not saying we will always have to have scape goats, but in a "western democracy" civil society (the public) does need to remain cohesive in order for the society and it's systems/foundations/public works/laws/etc continue to function. Scape goats, in a very real way, have proven very good at bringing people together, most often in dark twisted ways. Scape goats are often part of a civil society's foundational myth, recreated over and over again as times change, generally according to those interests focused on maintaining "stability" and the status qua.

What other models or ways to go about this are out there? I don't know. I mention Are Prisons Obsolete? precisely because of this issue though (well and others): I might not know what that "ideal" or "better" society would be, but I am pretty damn sure that if we put more capital into education, healthcare, etc. etc. our society as a whole would become better off (and, as A. Davis argues in here book, the prison industrial complex would begin to crumble).

How we spend out money (of course this is from my perspective in the states), whether as a State or states or cities and towns (not to mention households!), says a lot about where we're headed (it doesn't look all that great imho, but it could certainly and has certainly been worse).

Then again, a better benchmark of a society is what it's like to become a ward/slave/whatever of that state. Something along the lines of that “The degree of civilization in a society can be judged by entering its prisons” quote...

My problem earlier with that post was when it says something like, "when people finally all realize that people who use X drug are human beings not unlike them"... I mean, duh. It wouldn't be a problem if people did that, certainly, but the question is more about how to cultivate such a more realistic/open-minded/empathetic paradigm in what I referred to earlier as "civil society."

If we focuses more resources on education, nutrition/health, healthcare, housing, technical training, etc, and less on making weapons, spying, as well as other more draconian and straw-man idiotic legislation and public policies, I imagine a more empathetic civil society would emerge.

How to keep society cohesive is still a big deal though. Older coercive/marginalizing (and the newer ones that act similarly) foundational myths still hold so much weight; new ones are hard to dream up without enough humane/material capital. But we will certainly need a new narrative to hold people together (I don't think the language of universal human rights/inherent dignity is so bad, but it's certainly faaaaaaaar from perfect).

So, again, I'm left thinking that if we spent more on productive, humane institutions/foundations/capital building/etc, we'd end up with a more productive, human society. Seems to work elsewhere, although it's certainly anything if not a constant struggle given self-interested and greedy folks (and competing narratives that are no less greedy)...

It's a lot like harm reduction actually.

 

Great article. Yeah, the blind hatred towards drug users is appalling. My girlfriend, who's never ONCE commited a crime to support her habit, had a blog sometime ago where she'd chronicle her experiences, which, as a heroin/opiate user, included her experience with heroin. She didnt even glorify it really, yet EVERY DAY, some bastard would leave her a comment saying something along the lines of 'I hope you and your boyfriend die of aids'.

I know there wil always be trolls but that's a horrible thing to say and I would never even TYPE that on my worst enemy's blog.

It's really a shame that people are still ignorant about HIV/AIDS, it's still considered 'God's Wrath' against us "sinners". It's this kind of attitude which stalled AIDS research for years during the Raegan years.

All I can say is, KIDS (1995 film by Larry Clark and Harmony Korine) should be mandatory viewing for every hUman on this planet.

 

I've had first hand experience with how doctors feel about drug users in general and heroin users in particular. I almost died from an overdose of ephedra and a very high dose of DXM combined.

I tested positive for opiates and amphetamines and the doctor was sure that I overdosed on Heroin and MDMA. They would not believe me when I said Ephedra would cause a positive for amphetamines (I don't think it would even be a false positive given the similarity) and DXM could cause false positives for opiates.

To them, I was a low-life junkie. They scolded me for wasting space and resources that someone else might need and pretty much told me that it would have been my fault if someone else died because I was taking up time that could be spent on other patients.

I was surprised by both the bad treatment and their ignorance of false positives for those substances. My systolic blood pressure was well into the 200s when they started in on me and the negative emotions I felt seemed to cause it to rise more. It had been above 300 when I arrived so it had dropped, but it was still way too high for them to be saying these things, especially in the mean tone of voice they were using and their angry expressions. I was still quite high and what they were doing was causing anxiety, fear, and sadness. This was an hour or two after I was admitted to the intensive care unit (they asked me if I wanted a priest to give me last rites - I thought that was silly because I did not think I was in any danger. I had not yet seen my blood pressure reading and when I did, I thought it was my heart beating like 230bpm, then I got scared.

There was one nurse who was kind and respectful and she told me pretty much that she thought I was a nice person and told me not to let the things the ER and ICU doctors had been saying get to me. I wanted to say something nice back and thank her because she was the only person who really cared about what happened to me, but I was unable to get any words to come out. I did give a forced smile and I hope she knows that I was trying to show appreciation even if she could see that I had to fake the smile. I unfortunately did not see much of her because the shift in ICU changed right after that

The hospital shrink came to see me later. He knew I was depressed and my mom had informed him of my past suicide attempts and ongoing depression, and he still gave me cold treatment, not a shred of empathy or concern that I could see. He chastised me like I was a child. Nobody ever believed that it was DXM+Ephedra. I have never used Heroin in my life and had not yet tried MDMA when that happened. This incident may have saved my life though as I had undiagnosed severe hypertension. About a week later with no drugs to raise my BP, it was running above 190/120 and the doctor said most people would die within a couple of years with untreated hypertension that bad.

Anyway, this opened my eyes to how the medical profession treats drug users and heroin users in particular since they thought I was using it.

I do not know any opiate addicts, but the ones on Bluelight seem like nice people. They don't deserve to be treated like trash any more than I do for being addicted to hydrocodone and benzos. I used poppies almost every day for five years and functioned better during that period than any other time in my life - making almost straight A's in college for 3 years. Some of the opiate addicts here on Bluelight seem like very intelligent and kind hearted people who have great potential to make a positive impact on the world. Captain.Heroin is just one Bluelighter that comes to my mind - losing him or any of the many good drug addicts or ex-addicts would/would have made the world at least a slightly darker place.

Heroin addicts are no less deserving of life, liberty, and respect than any other group of people. It sickens me the way drug users are treated by society, government, and the medical profession.

Those in the medical profession should also stop to think about what may be going on in the addict's or overdoser's life that may drive them to use drugs. Many users do just do it for a good time, and that is okay as far as I am concerned.

There are many however who are self-medicating due to severe emotional pain or mental illness. They need and deserve help. They are suffering and deserve compassion from those who can help them. They certainly don't deserve death and that quote about AIDS taking care of the Heroin problem is truly revolting.
How would that person feel if they found one of there sons or daughters or any close family member or friend lying dead from an overdose? I don't think they'd feel that way any more unless they are completely devoid of compassion and love. I'm sure such people think there family and friends are clean, but some of them are wrong about that and they are wishing death on someone they love, perhaps their own kid and they don't even know it.

I can't imagine the pain I'd feel finding a child, spouse, sibling, or friend dead from an overdose even if I did everything in my power to help them, but it would have to be much worse if you either wanted addicts to die or supported laws and regulations that obviously deny drug users and addicts help or resources that would save lives.

I don't know why some people are so cruel and uncaring. To wish death on someone who is doing no serious harm to anyone other than maybe themselves is evil in my opinion. Sometimes I wish I could understand the minds of such people on a deeper level, but I think it is best that I don't as it would probably be really disturbing and might even corrupt my mind if I had that knowledge.
I am sure someday a philosophy and system based on harm reduction will replace punishment and callous disregard for the lives of our fellow men and women who choose to exercice liberty over their minds and bodies by using intoxicants other than nicotine and tobacco. Many thousands more will die needlessly until that time comes and it is a needless tragedy.

People can be so fucking cruel and heartless. The world would be a much better place if mankind would concern themselves with helping those in need, alleviating suffering wherever possible, and stopping bad folks from infringing on the rights of other living beings. Instead, they oppress any group that can be marginalized and inflict suffering on anything that can suffer, either for power, profit, or hate and some even enjoy the damage they do to others.

I'm just preaching to the choir here and not saying anything original, but I had to post something as I feel very strongly about this. I know many Bluelighters have lost family and friends to overdoses and several Bluelighters whose posts I followed have been done in by overdoses. People who could have easily been my friends if we had taken the time to connect. With the right policies, many of those people would still be here today.

I'm also not a complete idiot. I know I could end up in the Bluelight Shrine someday and as just another dead druggie to most of the world - just one more person added to the number of drug related deaths, a number that prohibitionists will spew out in their propaganda. If a RC does me in, even worse because then it would have a negative impact on other users. It is a fate I will try to avoid, but even the most careful person can screw up and I am certainly not the most careful person on here, though I hope I'll be moving closer to that goal.

 

All I can say is, KIDS (1995 film by Larry Clark and Harmony Korine) should be mandatory viewing for every hUman on this planet.

Best movie ever. The Lebron James of movies.

 

I'm glad your doors are open cause they need to be for the ignorance to flow out and hopefully the truth wash in.. so hot right now i have to coll down before I respond for real.

 

Great article. Yeah, the blind hatred towards drug users is appalling. My girlfriend, who's never ONCE commited a crime to support her habit, had a blog sometime ago where she'd chronicle her experiences, which, as a heroin/opiate user, included her experience with heroin. She didnt even glorify it really, yet EVERY DAY, some bastard would leave her a comment saying something along the lines of 'I hope you and your boyfriend die of aids'.

I know there wil always be trolls but that's a horrible thing to say and I would never even TYPE that on my worst enemy's blog.

It's really a shame that people are still ignorant about HIV/AIDS, it's still considered 'God's Wrath' against us "sinners". It's this kind of attitude which stalled AIDS research for years during the Raegan years.

All I can say is, KIDS (1995 film by Larry Clark and Harmony Korine) should be mandatory viewing for every hUman on this planet.

That movie was amazing, at the time my cousin wanted us to watch it when were about the same age as the characters in the movie and had the same kind of lifestyle (skate punkers into weed and a few other things, but not heroin etc. but we knew some people who did hard drugs too) and mostly wanted me to see it for the violent / funny parts but the lesson at the end was eye opening. Great recommendation, now I gotta find somewhere to download it

 

KIDS was definitely a movie that affected me. I was a teen when I watched it and it really opened my eyes up to some things which I'd never even considered.

 

Outlaw alcohol and see how "those" people react. I never met a straight edge politician.

 

Outlaw alcohol and see how "those" people react. I never met a straight edge politician.

Must have been interesting (or perhaps the opposite) living as someone who used to drink during alcohol prohibition in the US.

How pissed off they must have been to see themselves arrested (or fined?) for buying/selling/drinking booze.

 

Must have been interesting (or perhaps the opposite) living as someone who used to drink during alcohol prohibition in the US.

How pissed off they must have been to see themselves arrested (or fined?) for buying/selling/drinking booze.

I think this is a common misconception: under prohibition, drinking wasn't illegal, nor (I think) was buying illegal.

 

^ What sayeth thou?
Personal production and consumption of alcohol were legal, it is true.
But the feds would raid anywhere they thought people were making alcohol in larger quantities.
So buying alcohol must have been illegal, right?
And you would not want to get caught drinking in a bar....

 

^lol slim haha

A short aside related to DXM and opioids/opioid withdrawal...

I've had first hand experience with how doctors feel about drug users in general and heroin users in particular. I almost died from an overdose of ephedra and a very high dose of DXM combined.

I tested positive for opiates and amphetamines and the doctor was sure that I overdosed on Heroin and MDMA. They would not believe me when I said Ephedra would cause a positive for amphetamines (I don't think it would even be a false positive given the similarity) and DXM could cause false positives for opiates.

To them, I was a low-life junkie. They scolded me for wasting space and resources that someone else might need and pretty much told me that it would have been my fault if someone else died because I was taking up time that could be spent on other patients.

In my case, DXM totally saved my life. I never previously liked it in anywayshapeorform, but I did know it from past experience a little bit (100mg) could help with previous detoxes. Anyways, the last time I had a real dope habit and went cold turkey I used DXM. The DXM made is, literally, a totally painless process. It was psychedelic in the best possible life changing way. Only downside was w/d and DXM induced insomnia, but that was a smmmmall price to pay.

Ibogaine, ketamine, DXM, etc. etc. have NMDA antagonism action. IME DXM is the best given its long NMDA antagonism - as with Ketamine you have to dose much more often, at least in acute withdrawal. When it comes to PAWS, Ketamine would seem to be better given how low doses of Ket still treat symptoms without fucking one up too much, unlike doses of DXM. DXM is great, but it's a balancing act between potent, long lasting NMDA antagonism VS being so fucked up you can't function normally But I'm talking acute w/d here, where most with a habit wouldn't be able to function normally anyways. PCP and MXE would probably work too, but for the former would seem to be too toxic and the latter to unpredictable. Ibogaine I have little experience, but it's usefulness would seem to go beyond NMDA antagonisms. Anyways, moving on...

Around the time I was using the DXM to detox, I was so blown away at how fucking amazing it was, in terms of not only feeling none of the normal cold turkey blues/shittiness, but also because it's mild psychedelic effects made it a life changing experience that got me way, way more grounded in who I was, who I had been and who I wanted to be (spiritual, if you will).

During this time, I got in touch with a colleague of mine at Yale who, to my express surprise and joy, had just wrapped up an experiment on this very subject: exploring the use of NMDA antagonists (in this case study they used ketamine given by a doctor via IM injection, at first daily, and then once a week), in new ways to help treatment resistant patients suffering from depression, anxiety, addiction, etc. etc. Aparently it went rather well (that is, Ketamine/NMDA antagonists hold a very real promise in terms of treating said conditions.

If anyone is interested I'll email you the essay he wrote up for a medical journal on the subject. Sadly, for political reasons (fuck you big pharma), nothing seems to have come of it in the broader field of medicine. There is something to be said for NMDA antagonist action in treating said conditions (depression, anxiety, addiction, etc, especially when the patient is treatment resistant).

LOL, frankly, the best thing for me about detoxing with DXM was that I wasn't pissing out my ass 24/7. I did experience the absolute worst possible fart I could have ever imagined, but hey at least I was having (literally) pre-opioid-dependant bowel movements (I was also taking a little fiber, but I've tried that minus the DXM before and it didn't help the runs much if at all).

 

I got royally fucked from ecstasy about 7 months ago and it got me thinking quite a bit about drugs and education, specifically in the U.S. I think it's fairly clear that this whole zero tolerance/war on drugs attitude is a complete failure. The reason being that both ignore two basics facts behind almost all drug usage: mental illness/social maladaption and pleasure seeking.

Most of the people that cause social problems through their usage have some more fundamental problem at the heart of their drug consumption. The rest are usually able to use in a semi-sustainable way unless they get burned trough lack of knowledge about/ignorance of drugs.

It would be great if we took a two pronged approach to dealing with drugs in society. First, if we would just admit that people are going to do drugs for pleasure and from here work on proper education/harm reduction, think about how many accidents would be prevented/lives saved. This wouldn't mean that our public institutions would have to condone drug usage. Rather it would mean that people would be informed of the inherent risks/dangers associated with specific drugs and from there be able to make an informed decision whether to use and if using how to do so in a safe way.

If I had known more about ecstasy and its neurotoxicity I would have never used in the first place or at least would not have dosed in the reckless way that I did. Instead not knowning anything about the serotonergic system or mdma's pharmacology, I thought it was okay to redose/use multiple days. My life would be totally different right now had I known not to do these two things.

The second approach would be to make mental health more prominent in raising/educating our youth. People are given yearly physicals to make sure their bodies are functioning properly. I don't see why we don't do the same with our minds. Instead a person is left to deal with their mental health on their own and if they can't figure out what's wrong, they often turn to drugs and alcohol to cope. This is by no means suggesting that people should be further medicated. It's clear that drugs both prescription and illegal are overly abused in modem societies. If, however, we helped children/adolescents develop more well-rounded thought patterns (maybe using CBT or other postive psychology exercises) as well as watched out for dangerous thinking/behavior and corrected these, I think we could dramatically reduce drug abuse of all kinds without the need for any war on drugs.

We'd get a lot farther as a society if we would recognize that all anyone really wants from life is to have fun and be happy, rather than writing people off as junkies or addicts and leaving them to die in the gutter because 'that's what they deserve.' Most dangerous drug use/addiction is in the end a misguided attempt by a lost soul to find happiness. We should be helping these people not abandoning them.

 

Nice post^ Damn our (the US's) Puritanical roots! It's so ingrained in our institutions and culture at large that hedonism, pleasure seeking in and of itself, is wrong, immoral and should not be tolerated.

Hence junkies represent the ultimate manifestation of this pleasure seeking, this hedonism. They are the ultimate Puritan archetype. Junkies, for the sake of everyone else, must be eliminated. Before they infect others with their pleasure seeking ways.

To characterize our society and culture as prudish is a vast, vast understatement.

It's so much worse...

 

^Totally man. I think it's about time we start accepting drug use as part of the human experience. At least that way we could guide people and prevent them from fucking themselves up. Instead we still have this Protestant/Catholic mentality towards drugs like we used to/still have towards sex. We choose to ignore the fact that its a part of life and just hope that it won't happen if we ignore it and tell everyone it's bad. Then our 17 year old daughter comes home pregnant and we wonder what happened. It's pure stupidity. The real problem in the world is lack of education. This is the real source of the majority of our social problems.

 

I blame religion.
Outlaw religion, and these things will right themselves.

There's never one cause that can be associated with these social and political issues. Religion has done a lot for society, contrary to what you think, and not all of them object to empirical and scientific study, or even drug use. Psychedelic drug use, such as Amanita Muscaria, has undoubtedly helped stem Religious beliefs. Christianity, Islam and other major Religions (particularly in today's time) have no objections to science, and a lot of non-conservatism has led to the co-existence between the two.

In fact, Mathematics has been significantly helped by Religion. Remember Pythagoras? Well his mathematical discoveries were founded by a Religious cult known as Pythagoreanism, which involved using mathematical and numerical sequences to reach philosophical resolutions. As well as that, Islam was imperative in History for writing down different translations of ancient Greek texts, further storing Historical events up until now. If it weren't for Islam, a lot of philosophical, Religious, political and historical texts would be non-existent, and the consequences would be colossal; for example, Plato's texts would be badly translated, if not entirely abolished, if it weren't for Islam, and the Western Philosophical tradition would be immensly stunted.

The problem you speak of associating Religious ethics and codes with Political debate, such as relying on "God's answer" to dictate whether or not something is beneficial for the people or not. And even then, the problem isn't entirely due to Religion's association with Politics, but Political arrogance itself. But the answer isn't to obliterate Political debate from drug use, but rather remove arrogance from Political debate. And even then the problem isn't necessarily put to a halt, as these "tough-love" and destructive beliefs are so deeply rooted in so many different areas that this "stop x" discussion gets us nowhere - that's why we have debate, to determine whether or not one ideology or policy is ideal for the general population.

We shouldn't "outlaw" Religion, but rather "outlaw" the least productive policy in sight of more beneficial policies.

Also, I've been non-consensually butt-fucked by Doctors, psychiatrists and psychologists for the last few years concerning my drug addiction. It's not until now that I finally have medical treatment, and even then I have to wait it out another two weeks before I can be put on the treatment due to severe lack of funding.

My GP even wrote a partially bullshit referral to the psychiatrist a few weeks ago, explaining that I was not only abusing opiates, but valium as well, despite the fact that I have never been prescribed valium (which he claimed I was). The only time I have taken valium was in a psych ward, and even then they administer a singular dose, so it's impossible to abuse it while hospitalised. This whole "drug addicts deserve it" crap is extremely counter-productive to people who genuinely want to quit. The addiction itself is punishment enough, let alone bad medical funding.


[EDIT: Paragraph spaces properly;apparently the whole "five space break" doesn't work]

 

Doctors who exaggerate a patient's history of abuse of any prescription drug deserve a good ass kicking.

I've had to deal with a few of these scumbags myself and they've done nothing but burn more and more bridges for me.

A few months ago, after leaving the office of one such quack, I was so enraged by the false allegations set against me by him (after asking why he didn't wanna prescribe me a certain medication) that I waited... and waited... until I saw him leave his office. I followed him home (luckily, he wasn't from out of town, as so many doctors tend to be), and waited for him to park and go inside. I shit you not - I witnessed the piece of shit smoking a bowl while watching CNN. I even snapped a photo. Anyways, the next appointment, I kept on asking why does the office smell like weed. The look on his face was priceless, and his body language changed dramatically. I'm pondering a subtle, but effective way of letting him know that I know he tokes, that I'm tired of putting up with his two-faced ego, and that if he doesn't stop treating me like a second rate citizen, one morning he will find his picture printed, framed and nailed to his office door.

 

Nozphexezora, I think you missed slim's sacasm (understandable, this being the interwebs and such). Another nit picky think, as I know I'd enjoy reading your post... Please break up your paragraphs so it's easier to read. Short paragraphs are a lot easier to read than blocks of text.

Don't get me wrong, I write too much, so much so I imagine a number of people pass them by because they're not interested in spending more than a couple seconds, at most a minute, to read posts (here or anywhere on the net I guess, outside of blog entries I mean).

Hey, looky here! This is a perfect example of what I was saying about breaking up your post

Last note... Use the "Edit" function (bottom right of your post) and then the "Go Advanced" button next door to copy your second post (your double post), delete it, then past your copied second post it into the first one and finally save it. A mod will probably merge your posts, but I digress...

Yea, heroin, I forgot that was the topic.

I wish someone would do a comprehensive study exploring the effect drug use and addiction vs drug law enforcement and policy/law on our communities... I worked on one of these such studies back in CT, but it was only really on the state or micro level.

Granted, it is, or can be, quite tricky even on an individual level to distinguish harm done via drugs, drug use, dependence, their pharmacological effects from that done by prohibition, drug law enforcement and our drug policy/culture more broadly. I know in my life the latter has done much more to decrease my QOL than the former.

UConn did a great one on the huge savings the state saved (and humane, effective in reducing recidivism, etc. etc.) merely by channeling non-violence drug law offenders into a drug court system outside the standard criminal law system.

IIRC the same study also explored the current and projected costs in purely economic terms our the current drug law enforcement and policy will incur, as at this time CT had abandoned it's drug court program for supposedly "financial" reasons (rubbish! after all, it was save the state money both in the short and long term - and what it could save, again merely in financial terms, was quite staggering).

The hardest part about all this is trying to measure or get a sense of the non-financial costs, such broken families, disruption of local communities and loss of human capital.

 

Just felt like posting my two cents in before I go to bed and awaken (hopefully not in withdrawal as has been the case,) as I make my way to the Methadone clinic I've recently turned to.

What MyDoorsAreOpen stated about many Heroin addicts, how even after getting clean, they never truly enjoy life like they once did, and never again find anything that can compare to Heroin, struck me as something that, to me now, seems an unpleasant reality.

Though I've recently turned to Methadone (as while on Suboxone I merely used it to block withdrawal, then switch back onto Heroin, until I came to the unfortunate realization that at some point the Suboxone no longer reacts as it once did, and one withdrawals regardless) to stop the cravings I was experiencing when not on Heroin (this being after withdrawal and back on Suboxone) that were so extreme I could hardly breath while experiencing them, that seemingly never went away, until the point I was just as ready to end my life as I was to shoot up...

I will state, for my reputations sake, I thankfully never went to the lows that my friends did. The extent I reached: I have been the "Getaway car" for Blu-Ray boosting, (which honestly I am not opposed to when stolen from a well established and (in my eyes) greedy corporation) and then pawned for a cut in the profits.
Also, as being the only driver for everyone to get their fix, (and considering the Ghetto is a good $10 drive) I get either gas or a bag from everyone coming with me for the convenience of them not needing to wait 6 hours on a bus and still pay nearly as much.
My other avenue, though not to incriminate, I'll simply say involved supply and demand. And unlike all my friends who told me I was too lenient, saying I never got what I should out of it. In so doing, I had a larger market, and people who I never knew would come to me and show respect due to hearing I was the only honest "one" out there.

Still, I burned through all my money, sold things of mine that were of particular value, went through all the funds put aside for me by my Father, at the end even obtained extra money from my parents (a certain type of plus when coming from a family that is stable financially) but really, no matter what, I was running low, and eventually completely ran out. I don't mug, I don't rob from houses, I do onto others as I'd imagine they would so like to be treated.
So as far as screwing myself over in respect to dicking people over left and right, no I never let myself get to that level.
However I did let myself get to the level where only on Heroin could I be peaceful, could I feel happiness, could I live life as I wish we all could, profoundly pleasantly.
It became a mixture of a new sexuality, a new means of living, a new function and new need of the body. And without it now, even on the Methadone, though I feel relief from the cravings, I literally feel as if I laid so long in Heaven, all in this earth seems but bland shades of nothing, I can only hope somehow things will get better.

Considering I'm clearly far from a Millionaire, my ideal life of wasting away on Heroin 24-7 is far from a reality.
Hopefully while on this new, non-euphoric addiction which serves only to cease cravings and abate withdrawal, I'll again find something worth living for.
The irony also being, I now have so much (friend wise) I didn't when I was turning to Heroin, even someone close to being a girlfriend which I was in desperate need of prior to my addiction. And yet, it all seems.... and I hate to say this, of no worth, no merit, it's not Heroin after all.

Lastly I will say in favor of my friends, though the amount of grimy things they did lead me from not even allowing them in my residence. As far as friendship goes, they were solid. I've shared so much with them I never had told anyone before, and felt no judgement, and likewise I saw aspects of them they hid from the world around them.
I do look upon addicts with sympathy, being one this should come as no surprise.
As radical as it might sound, the "Heroin Maintenance" in much of the UK seems like a better idea than the Methadone and Suboxone in the US. It proves not only can it be given safely, but for the people who have become so dependent on it they're better off dead than sober, it would be an act of kindness and charity to allow such people that relief.
If only things could be so simple...

 

Good post! Just cause you use heroin (or crack or any other "hardest of the hard" drugs) doesn't make you a thieving junkbox. It might. Often it does. But just by using a drug, becoming habituated to it and all that jazz, it doesn't turn you into a completely different person.

Often, after long term and/or heavy use, it will change you, add something (positive and negative) to your character. But you're still you. And even for most of us who use heroin, we are much, much more than someone who simply uses heroin. Using heroin, even getting addicted to it, doesn't somehow transform you into something totally new and/or different.

Almost by nature, if it were, we are inherently multidimensional beings. When one becomes nothing but someone who uses heroin, those are the worst cases. I have met very few of these sort of people, and it's always kinda sad. And speaking of said, isn't it sad that these hardcore junkie exceptions are treated by society/culture/law/etc as the rule and not the exception that they actually are?

One of my first blog entries was about this subject, written in response to a pm.